Preschool drop off

Am I asking too much? I love the boys school. They attend 3 days a week. I drop them off in the same class room for breakfast those 3 days. They have finally gotten to the point where drop off goes very smoothly. It took us literally years to reach this point. They both still at almost 3 ½ have separation anxiety. They insist on sitting next to each other. Like their chairs touching at the breakfast table at school. I have to give each of them several hugs and kisses after they sit down and then I leave. After breakfast they have free time and then they are separated into their separate classes. They both do very well with separating at that point and hug/kiss each other goodbye every day. During the summer one of the boys classroom drop off for breakfast is in another room. Last summer it was not a big deal. I dropped them off together for breakfast and L’s teacher picked him up on the way to his class when he got to school. So today I didn’t think much of it at drop off and took them to the same room as always. A lady I don’t even know very well she is usually a sub/helper was in there at the time and told me that L had to go to the other room. Both boys immediately started getting upset. I said no they both get dropped off in here. I ended up taking them to the office and talking to them about it. So they said for today I could drop them both off in the same class. Both boys by this point were in tears and were just a bit shell shocked. I got them settled and went and talked to the office again. They made it seem like a big deal to have to take Logan to his class. It might be confusing to his teacher even though he has the exact same teacher as last summer (who is a twin and very understanding). I told them that for the moment I want them both dropped in the same room because it is hard enough for them to separate from me without also having to separate from each other at the same time. They have been dropped off together since they were 5 months old. The school has always worked with us. I know they probably think I give in to my boys or should make them just do it but change for them is extremely hard. They have a very strong twin bond which is a big reason I like them in separate classes so they make other friends. Their father who was a huge part of their life is not at home right now. This has been a huge and traumatic event for them. L is just finally getting to the point that he doesn’t cry for daddy on a regular basis. So going through another “change” is not something I want for them right now. So far they have still done well at school. It might seem minor for most people but for those two boys it isn’t. Especially right now. In addition one of them is getting a new head teacher luckily it is the one who can deal with change a little better but still.
So am I asking too much. This school is not at all cheap. I do not want to go back to screaming and crying every single drop off. Its traumatic for everyone. Maybe I am being a bit overprotective but emotionally at this point in time they do not need any more changes.
So am I asking too much of the school?

 

I would be upset that the school decided to change the established drop-off routine with no notice. I would ask them why, all of a sudden, it is so important to them when it hasn't been an issue in the past. Then, you might have to discuss with them the fact that Daddy isn't at home right now (if you haven't already). Maybe they will be more understanding then. At some point, you might have to decide if it is more important to have drop-off together or seperate classes. (assuming you could switch them to he same class, if you wanted, and then drop-off wouldn't be an issue). I would, at least push for some time for the new policy to take place, so the boys could be prepared - the longer the better, of course. Then you could talk about it, maybe do a countdown chart or something. That would have made me really mad, as well. Good Luck!!

 

I don't think that you are being overprotective at all. You are concerned that there was a change to your boys' normal daily schedule, something which has taken years to achieve to a satisfactory level, without some notice so that you could have prepared the boys earlier. I would have been mad as hell too! I always have had to (and still have to) let my DD know if there is a change to her daily routine and I remember at that age, especially in your case, other issues as Dad being away, it was imperative that they had been given time to absorb the change before it occurred. As Sheryl said, you may have to consider which is more important, the separate classrooms or the drop-offs, if the school isn't able to help in this area.

Personally, considering you are paying a lot of money for the school, I would be speaking to the Principal/Director and asking how they can help with establishing this transition, in a way that has minimal impact on your drop offs whilst not compromising the fact that you would like them the benefit of having social interaction with others in separate classrooms.

 

My girls are very very fragile at drop off and would not deal with that well AT ALL. I would not be happy.

I just requested that my twins be put in the same class- all day everyday. . There is nothing wrong with doing things that make people feel a little more comfortable - they have their entire lives to learn to be apart but for now I like them being together just as much as they do.