Preschool and Potty Training?

Hi there -

I'm pretty new to this forum - hope you don't mind me joining you all.

My girls are 33 months and have been going to 2 day a week preschool for about a month. They are in the midst of learning to use the potty and are doing fairly well. They can usually go all day without accidents if I stay on top of them, however they do still have days where they have accidents. I don't generally put them in pull-ups except at night and during naps - I believe pull-ups make potty training more difficult because they don't feel when they're wet.

The problem is that the preschool teacher insists that they have to be in pull-ups unless they are 100% potty trained - no accidents and asking to use the potty. I wonder if this is normal at a preschool - it seems like they are never going to be potty trained unless they are allowed to have accidents. BTW - I'm talking about pee here - they never have poo accidents if they are wearing underwear.

Thanks for any input.

 

My two went to a preschool program 2 days a week (it resumes in September) and they do require the children to be PT-ed before they enroll. They do ask the parents to bring a change of clothes in case the children do have an accident but the kids do have to be in underwear. I've seen other members recommend putting underwear on under the pull ups...would that help?

 

My daughters had to wear pull ups at school for about the first 30 days after being potty trained. It was just until school felt comfortable they were trained, then they'd tell me it was okay to send them in underwear. They got to move up to the next room shortly after that.

I did not find that pull ups affected their potty training ability at all though. Once they got it, they got it, and they really did not have accidents in underwear or pull ups. My one DD trained at 2y6m, but did have to wear pull ups at naptime and bedtime until about 3y4m. The other DD trained later (3y4m) but once she got it she was day and night trained.

 

I think that's a normal rule for daycares. For them, it's a public health issue. They can't risk your kid and/or the other kids getting into your kid's accident, if you know what I mean, before the teachers notice it.

 

I wonder if I should just stop trying to potty train them and wait. I've been trying to potty train K since January and she still has pee accidents and I started trying with M about 2 weeks ago and she still has pee accidents. It sounds like you all just potty trained them and they got it and stopped having accidents after a short amount of time?

I'm so frustrated because it seems like all the other kids in their preschool are potty trained and not forced to wear pull-ups so I feel like a total failure as a mother. The teacher also sent me a snarky email telling me that I didn't want people to see me as "that mother" (whatever that means) because I sometimes let M pee behind a tree at the park or in our backyard. I guess I am a failure - I can't believe I'm letting potty training get me so depressed!

 

:hug: You are in no way a failure! :hug: Potty training is hard and potty training TWO is sooo much harder!

I totally agree with you about pull ups and honestly I'm not a fan but you have to weigh the pros and cons of it. If you have to send them to pre-school then I would do what they recommend. Just stick to your own routine at home. I don't think the teacher was very nice about her email... Is there a director you could forward that to and just let her know that you don't appreciate the tone?
My ds insists on peeing on a tree in our backyard because it's where our dogs do it :lol: My oldest did the same thing, they grow out of it. None of this makes you a failure. You're doing the best you can!

 

I can't help you with the preschool question, but I can say that we have a 'peeing tree' out in our back yard, and that was MY idea, as I was starting potty training. I am 'happily' one of 'those' mothers! And I agree with pp, I would forward the email to a higher authority and ask if the peer pressure approach is also used on her students!!

 

The preschool my twins went to and the one my oldest went to required kids to be PTed to attend. I think that is the general rule with preschools around here...I'm talking about 3 and 4 year old preschool programs. Pull ups were not allowed.

 

I'm not much help either on the potty training aspect, although I do think that when your kids are ready it will just click. And even if that's at 4 years old rather than 2 or 3 like some of the other kids in preschool, it will happen. You're certainly not failing your kids if they're not ready.

Mostly I wanted to write and say that I let my kids pee behind a tree too. In fact, they almost always ask to "water a tree" when we go hiking. It's fun and natural and why not? I don't know if you have a choice of other teachers or other preschools, but snarky people drive me batty and I'd probably have to tell her to go mind her own business.

 

The preschool is really more like a daycare, I guess, she takes children who aren't potty trained and those who are. It's a home-based program so the teacher who sent me the email is the one and only teacher. I'm thinking of moving them to another program but we had to pay a $1,500 non-refundable deposit (unless we stay for the whole year) to sign up, so it's not a decision I take lightly. Plus, they do seem to like the school...

I am glad to hear I'm not the only one who allows/encourages outdoor peeing. I really didn't think it was such a big deal - we live in a very outdoorsy community so I didn't think anyone would really mind if a toddler kid peed behind a tree in the park. I was figuring that it's just a very brief stage and once they are able to hold it better I'll get them to stop the outdoor peeing.

In any case, I think I'm just going to go on a potty training break because it's stressing me out way too much. I'll just put them in pull-ups and if they want to go in the toilet they can and if they want to go in their pull-up that's fine, too. I'm sure other moms are now going to think I'm "that mom" who can't potty train her kids, but whatever.

 

Like many other things our kids learn THEY seem to learn it and not something they are taught. I feel that PT that is seen by soooooooo many parents as a ribbon of honour that somehow THEY as a parent taught their child. I feel this is NOT true. I see many kids are ready when they are biologically ready. I have a 3.5 yr old (4 in Nov.) who only yesterday finally pooped on the toilet. She would be completely wet and or poop and tell nobody or care. With PT we take our cues from our kids and we as parents see signs when they are ready. We start school in Sept. -- Junior kindergarten, and we will see what they allow then.

Heather

 

Our preschool did not require pull ups. They were in training pants and still having regular accidents. In fact, Annelise was had daily poop accidents for much of the year. We worked hard on potty training all last school year, but it didn't click with her until this June when she was 3.5 years old. The preschool they attend is a combination HeadStart and daycare program.

 

The preschools here do not require pull-ups. We are in one, getting ready to move to another. I also toured many and they all say that from 18 - 36 mos they are working on helping them and that comes with accidents. Diapers are allowed also though. So maybe it depends on the area. I have not had any problems with pull-ups either. If we are at a park with no access to restrooms, I use pull-ups for Zoe. She still finds me to tell me she has to go and we pull the travel potty out. She doesn't always make it because her weakness is waiting too long if she is playing outside.

 

The peeing comment would bug me more than anything. That's really rude. Kids here have to be PT (fully- zero accidents) AND be able to wipe themselves AND be FULLLLLY self sufficient in bathroom. The teachers cannot help w/ clothing either. UGH.. And all of this by AGE 3! I think that's pushing it, esp considering mine have been pt since a little after 2 and still can't clean themselves properly!

Anyway, GL w/ your decision and I'd not like that comment much