Preparing for babies

I just don't know what to do. I've been on bedrest since 19 weeks. I'm currently 25 weeks. I want to get things ready for the babies within the next couple of weeks. I feel like I need to start ordering things and having my mom pick up what she can so that we are ready if these babies make an early appearance. I do not want to be worrying about all the things we don't have if I have babies in the NICU. I don't live by any family (plus our family is very small). I have tons of friends, and at least one of them had mentioned a shower when I first got pregnant, but I don't know that they plan to do anything now that I'm on bedrest. Should I just start buying things myself? I don't want to hurt people's feelings if they were planning to buy things for us, but I'm starting to panic that I don't have anything except a crib. What should I do?

 

QUOTE(Beth*J @ Nov 16 2007, 11:27 AM) [snapback]498614[/snapback]
I just don't know what to do. I've been on bedrest since 19 weeks. I'm currently 25 weeks. I want to get things ready for the babies within the next couple of weeks. I feel like I need to start ordering things and having my mom pick up what she can so that we are ready if these babies make an early appearance. I do not want to be worrying about all the things we don't have if I have babies in the NICU. I don't live by any family (plus our family is very small). I have tons of friends, and at least one of them had mentioned a shower when I first got pregnant, but I don't know that they plan to do anything now that I'm on bedrest. Should I just start buying things myself? I don't want to hurt people's feelings if they were planning to buy things for us, but I'm starting to panic that I don't have anything except a crib. What should I do?



If you are going to have a shower, you can go online to say Babies R US, Walmart, wherever you want to use and do your registery online. I keep one at Babies R US, I like to to do that so I can keep track of what I need.

For the shower if you friends want to throw you one. Talk to your friends and see what their ideas are considering you are bedrest. Are you on strict bedrest or could you sit on the sofa for an hour or two? If you do this have friends do evertyign, setup, cleanup, food, ect....

If buying things now helps set your mind at ease, then do it. We are doing that. I don't want to wait too long. When it comes to others buying things for the babies there is so much out there I couldn't see anyone running out of gifts...shoot, a big box of diapers is a great gift.

You need to do whatever relaxes you.

Dianna

 

QUOTE(Dianna @ Nov, 10:33 AM) [snapback]498626[/snapback]
If you are going to have a shower, you can go online to say Babies R US, Walmart, wherever you want to use and do your registery online. I keep one at Babies R US, I like to to do that so I can keep track of what I need.

For the shower if you friends want to throw you one. Talk to your friends and see what their ideas are considering you are bedrest. Are you on strict bedrest or could you sit on the sofa for an hour or two? If you do this have friends do evertyign, setup, cleanup, food, ect....

If buying things now helps set your mind at ease, then do it. We are doing that. I don't want to wait too long. When it comes to others buying things for the babies there is so much out there I couldn't see anyone running out of gifts...shoot, a big box of diapers is a great gift.

You need to do whatever relaxes you.

Dianna


I have registries set up, but I don't have any idea if a shower is being planned. I can't sit up or go anywhere, so it would have to be in my living room with me lying in bed. I hate to ask anyone if a shower is being planned because it seems rude. I don't want to think I'm asking for presents.

 

You could ask you friends by saying some of your friends at TS had asked you if you were going to have a shower since you are on bedrest, but say you didn't know, that you hate asking but you are just trying to get everything figured out for the babies. I think you friends wouldn't think you were after gifts.


Dianna

 

Hmmm, that's a tough one. My family was talking about my shower from the first moment I announced we were PG with twins (like 7 weeks), so I knew at least one would be thrown. I did end up having it at my house and I laid on my big chair with the ottoman, since I was on bedrest from 16 weeks on.

I received pretty much everything I needed at my shower, so I'm glad we didn't purchase anything. But I can't come up with a good way of asking people whether they are having a shower. So I guess in that situation I would start purchasing some things. But maybe everyone doesn't know what to do and maybe you could subtly suggest something being planned for your house?

Sorry, I don't know if that helps.

 

If your friend was planning on a shower, I don't see why that would change because you're on bedrest. But I think it would be appropriate to check in with her -- just make sure she knows that twins often come early (and if you're on bedrest, presumably yours are more likely than most to come early) and you want to be able to enjoy it. I know it feels awkward, but I don't think anyone would think you are asking for gifts. They just don't understand what the timing is like -- it's probably not even on their radar yet.

And as Dianna said, if it is stressing you out not to have the basics, go ahead and deal with that -- diaper pail, changing table, etc. Those are things that people probably aren't going to buy as shower gifts anyway -- they will be more inclined to buy toys & cute little clothes.

Also, I hope your babies do not have to spend time in the NICU, but if they do, you can actually use some of that time to get stuff set up at home.

Try not to stress about it too much (though I know that's hard, especially when you're on bedrest and feel like you can't do much about it) -- it's not really possible to have everything perfectly in order when the babies are born anyway. You wind up doing a lot of stuff on the fly, even if you have your nursery all set up and the diapers waiting by the changing table and all the clothes washed and hanging in the closet in order of size.

 

Hugs to you! I understand! I have also been on bedrest since 17 weeks! It's hard to get stuff done! But, I have been able to coordinate all of it from my couch. Granted, I have an advantage because I have a son, so I had everything for "one" baby, just not two.

Anyway, my family was planning a shower anyway, but I went ahead and bought the big stuff. People may not buy this stuff anyway. I bought a crib, swing, high chair, bouncy, etc. I went to a twins sale (yes, I cheated on the bedrest) and got all this at once. I would also buy a changing table and rocker, if I were you. Chances are, people won't buy that stuff for your shower anyway, since it's pretty expensive. So, once you have the big stuff out of the way, you might feel better about things. The little things, like clothes, sheets, blankets, etc - people will probably buy for you, because that's what people like to buy! And, you can get later, if the babies end up in the NICU. I was kind of planning on the time in the NICU to do stuff (we have TTTS and thought they would be very early), but as it turns out, they probably will be coming home with us, so I've been stressing about "really" getting things ready too!

When you start buying things like people aren't having a shower for you, then that will prompt them to say something. You can put everything on your registry and take it off as you buy it. Send someone out with money! If you have a lot of stuff by the time your shower comes around - ask for gift cards or diapers or something. I know it's stressful, but if this makes you feel like you're accomplishing things on bedrest, go for it! I know it's hard not to be anxious to get things completed on bedrest.

Good luck,
jenny