Pregnant with toddlers at home

hi. i'm new to the forum - expecting twins this july. :icon_biggrin: is there anyone out there who is pregnant with twins who also has 1 or 2 young children at home? i'd love to know how you are coping. i have a 4 and a 2 year old and it's all i can do just to stay awake let alone give the attention they need and deserve.

thanks!

 

I have a 3 year old ( who doesn't nap) and she used to poke me in the face and tell me to wake up since I used to fall asleep all the time!! It got better once I was out of the first trimester but now, at 24 weeks, it is getting tough again with being tired and big. If you have someone who can come help out with the 2 kids (family, friends) I would call them. I was lucky enough to have my daughter in daycare 2 days a week and it helped a lot. Good luck.

 

I have a 3yo daughter. I know how you feel. There have been a few days that I have had to lay down with her jsut so I could get some rest. It was even harder when I was on bedrest at 8 weeks. I felt sad for her, but we worked out activities that we could do in bed.

Hope you start getting energy back when you cross into the 2nd trimester (I'm still waiting )

 

Welcome!! Yes I was pg and had 3 lil girlies at home. Well one in preschool, one in school and one 3yo at home. It was tough at 1st I spent about 3 wks on my mom's couch while she helped with my kids because I was so sick, so tired and had terrible headaches. After that DH really stepped up and did bath time and dinner time!! THEN several women from our church cooked meals and even cleaned my house when I was TOO BIG to do anything! LOL Rely on those around you to do as much as possible! Hope this helps.

 

thanks for your replies! hopefully i'll start feeling more human in a few weeks. thankfully my son (4) is in school for half a day or i'd really go insane. he needs activities and playdates and all that. my daughter (2) still naps so i get about an hour to pass out every day. relying on people is really difficult for me but i know i have to do it. when i officially announce that i am pregnant that will get easier. unfortunately there is no family around that i can realistically rely upon and HD works a tremendous amount of hours. I'm figuring that i will need to hire some help in a few months to get me through dinner, bathtime and bedtime.

 

I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old also. We've managed. I do live near a lot of family which has saved me big time! I've been on bedrest for 8 wks so it's been really hard esp. with my 2 yr old. My church and family have helped out a lot, but it's really hard not being able to care for my family and home in only the way that Mommy can It will all be so worth it in the end though!!!!

 

:sign0016: to TS! Congratulations your twin pregnancy

Dianna

 

I have a non napping 3 year old girl. I actually went and got a job so I could sit down! No joke! This job is the one thing I swear outside of prayer keeping me off of bed rest!

 

Congratulations and welcome!

I had a 6 and 4 year old when my youngest DD, was born. It was rough. This time around with the twins, my children are all grown up, but I work at a daycare, and let me tell you, when it is nap time... I am ready to join them! LOL! One nice thing you may be able to do with your children to have a little more quality time with them is during bath time... read them a story while they listen and soak or play with their toys. While you wash their hair do the fun hairstyles. Let me tell you something about children... it's not the quantity they need, it's the quality of time they need. When you make dinner, let them set the table, when you clean up the kitchen... let them wash the table (you can always do it again after they go to bed... if you are still awake!). It won't be much longer and you will be having a little more energy. I use to fall asleep, by 5 pm. Now I can actually stay up till 10pm with DH and watch a movie sometimes. Just enjoy the moments you have with your children now, keep giving the hugs and kisses, and go with it! They are more together about it than you may think. One more thing... children enjoy having time to themselves, too. Make napping fun... tell them the babies need their nap so everyone is going to get in mommies bed "THIS TIME", and take a nap, even mommy! They will find that funny that mommy is taking a nap, and let me tell you, they will enjoy spending their naps with you too! Good luck and I hope you will find some energy... if you find extra... send some my way! LOL!

 

i have a almost 3 yr old and an almost 5 yr old boys! super active!

 

tammy - thank you. i'm not sure you realize what a pep talk your email just gave me. you are right. it's not quantity of time, it's quality and quality has been what is lacking. my 4 year old just started having accidents (poop as well as pee) and i'm sure it's because of me and even more of a problem, my reaction to his accidents. i need to get control and perspective and for sure your tips will help. thank you!

 

wow! how do you keep it all together? was the first trimester ****? i'm looking forward to graduating into my second, more active trimester (or rather i hope it'll be less tiring)


QUOTE(2+2more! @ Dec 19 2007, 07:48 PM) [snapback]540978[/snapback]
i have a almost 3 yr old and an almost 5 yr old boys! super active!

 

that's hysterical! i hope it works. bedrest is a definite fear of mine.

QUOTE(Appymomma @ Dec 19 2007, 06:23 PM) [snapback]540880[/snapback]
I have a non napping 3 year old girl. I actually went and got a job so I could sit down! No joke! This job is the one thing I swear outside of prayer keeping me off of bed rest!

 

I just wanted to say that I understand COMPLETELY! I have a daughter who is almost 4 and a son who just turned 18 months and it is so hard. (I'm at 26 1/2 weeks along now.) I've hired a high school girl to come an afternoon a week, have had my mom come for one day a week, my MIL when she can for short periods, and am now looking for a part time nanny/sitter to come a couple of days a week starting now and continuing after the babies are born. My husband has been doing everything when he's home. Finding and accepting as much help as possible, so that when I am on my own with the kids I can try to be patient and try to provide some quality interaction has been the only way to make it through so far ~ and even then it is just so hard. I can't wait until I can get back to being a good mommy!

 

i am so happy i posted on this community. this is the stuff they do not tell you and not knowing anyone pregnant with twins and kids at home means i haven't had anyone to talk to about this. my husband has been amazing when he's home, taking the kids all weekend but i am seeing more and more that i need more help during the week. my friends, who are positive i'm pregnant (since i'm HUGE) but haven't been told, have been really great about trying to sneak in extra playdates with my eldest and stuff like that. thank goodness for friends since my family in the area is unfortunately useless. i think just knowing that other people have felt and do feel the same way as i do right now will really help raise my spirits and in doing so will help me concentrate on being a better mom than i have been to my 4 year old. who knew 4 year olds were harder than 2 year olds .
thank you thank you.

QUOTE(Erin92702 @ Dec 19 2007, 10:10 PM) [snapback]541143[/snapback]
I just wanted to say that I understand COMPLETELY! I have a daughter who is almost 4 and a son who just turned 18 months and it is so hard. (I'm at 26 1/2 weeks along now.) I've hired a high school girl to come an afternoon a week, have had my mom come for one day a week, my MIL when she can for short periods, and am now looking for a part time nanny/sitter to come a couple of days a week starting now and continuing after the babies are born. My husband has been doing everything when he's home. Finding and accepting as much help as possible, so that when I am on my own with the kids I can try to be patient and try to provide some quality interaction has been the only way to make it through so far ~ and even then it is just so hard. I can't wait until I can get back to being a good mommy!

 

hi, i am 26 wks along, and have a 4 yr old and a 2 and a half yr old. I found the first trim very ehausting, things have improved 2nd tri, but i'm getting bigger now and its getting hard again.

Just knowing you are not alone is a big help, there are always lots of ladies on here to bounce off.

good luck, and take comfort in knowing that many of us felt this way too!

 

I have a 2 year-old and it has been REALLY difficult. We had to change many things to adapt to my new physical (dis)abilities and I think she felt abandonned by her mum as DH was taking over more and more of her care. Lately, what I have tried to do is take care of her for the non-physical stuff and then have DH do all the lifting. Even if I am tired and he bathes her I am in the bathroom with them and interacts with her. The worst part is when:
- she gets upset that I can't carry her
- she challenges me because she knows I don' t have the energy to run after her (for diaper changes, getting dressed, things like that :nea: )
- she rejects me and asks for her daddy while she used to be mummy's girl
- I feel I'm failing her for not being able to take care of her - right now I'm so big I can barely keep her on my knees
- I feel so frustrated in general to have to rely so much on people for practically everything

BUT this shall pass...

I agree with the other posts, you will need help.
Good luck to you!

 

oy... i'm sorry about your daughter. but as you said, this too shall pass. it's great that you have such a positive attitude. good luck!

QUOTE(MARYLANE @ Dec 20 2007, 04:37 PM) [snapback]542009[/snapback]
I have a 2 year-old and it has been REALLY difficult. We had to change many things to adapt to my new physical (dis)abilities and I think she felt abandonned by her mum as DH was taking over more and more of her care. Lately, what I have tried to do is take care of her for the non-physical stuff and then have DH do all the lifting. Even if I am tired and he bathes her I am in the bathroom with them and interacts with her. The worst part is when:
- she gets upset that I can't carry her
- she challenges me because she knows I don' t have the energy to run after her (for diaper changes, getting dressed, things like that :nea: )
- she rejects me and asks for her daddy while she used to be mummy's girl
- I feel I'm failing her for not being able to take care of her - right now I'm so big I can barely keep her on my knees
- I feel so frustrated in general to have to rely so much on people for practically everything

BUT this shall pass...

I agree with the other posts, you will need help.
Good luck to you!

 

I have two boys... my oldest will be four next Sunday and fortunately goes to preschool four mornings a week. However, he does not nap anymore, but I make him have a quiet time so I can rest while my youngest sleeps. Daddy has to do baths because I can't lean over the tub anymore. I still do a lot of housework, playdates, etc ... just to keep them occupied.

My youngest just turned 18 months. He is pretty easy and entertains himself really well so he is not a big concern. I have a feeling that could change drastically after the babies are born.

Fortunately, I feel pretty good, other than lack of sleep cuz I don't sleep at night. Other than that, I feel like I'm trucking right along at almost 27 weeks.

Best wishes to you!