Pregnant with second set of twins

I found out Monday that I am pregnant with twins - again! I have 4 year old B/G twins and a 2 year old G. They are all the greatest kids and get along so well with each other. My husband and I went back and forth on whether to have another and when we decided to try, it happened very quickly. Really severe nausea set in very early and given how hard it's been for me to take care of my 3 children, I started worrying about our choice to have another. Then, I had my first OB appoitment Monday at 11 weeks. My doc does a quick ultrasound at every visit instead of using the doppler - very nice - until my heart almost stopped when he showed me not one but two babies! I have been having a very hard time getting my head around the fact that I am going to have to live through another twin pregnancy - while I delivered 1st set at 36 weeks, I was in the hospital due to a preterm labor scare from 25-28.5 weeks and on strict bedrest to 34 weeks. It was a terrifying and challenging time in my life. I also have a hard time getting my head around the fact that we're going to have 5 children - under the age of 5!! We never thought we'd have 5 kids. Is there anybody out there who has had a second set of twins? Anyone who was initially terrified by the idea? I know that I'm still sort of in a state of shock but I have cried many times in the last 2 days. I just feel afraid - afraid of the pregnancy, afraid of not being able to give enough to the 3 kids we have, afraid that somehow I will no longer be a good mother, afraid that my ambivalence is just unfair to the two babies I am growing now... I am surprised - and a little ashamed - of the way I feel. My husband says that I am just afraid of change and I know that as soon as I hold these babies in my arms I will question how I ever could have felt this way but for now, I just feel so scared. I'd love any advice, reassurance or even to know that there is someone else out there who has had some of these same feelings.

Thanks!

 

Congratulations on your surprise! I went through 7 years of infertility and IVF to get my FIRST set of twins so you can imagine my surprise when I found out I was pregnant naturally with a SECOND set. My mom was almost in tears "how are you going to do it" attitude when I told her. Unfortunately I lost one shortly afterwards! let it sink in.. you'll do great! Congrats again! :hug99:

 

My nephew has two sets of twins - a set of boy/boy and a set of girl/girl. I was talking to him the other day when we found out our daughter was pregnant again. She has one set of twins that will be 17 months old when the new baby is born. We were really praying for a singleton this time, but fully prepared for them to tell us it was multiples. We only found out last night it was a singleton. My nephew told me when I was asking him what it was like with two sets, that once you had them, a second set just seemed pretty normal. They said they really didn't notice any difference in raising a second set of twins as compared to the singleton they had in between.

Congratulations! It will all work out.

Kathy

 

I saw 2 posts within the past week of moms having a 2nd set of twins. So you're not the only one in hte forum! I've been feeling like you recently with one 2 year-old at home and "only" one set of twins to come, so even though I can't imagine how you're feeling I can relate. All your feelings are normal, and hopefully will fade. And your husband might be right when he says that once you have them in your arms you will feel just fine.

In the meantime, I hope you will have an uneventful pregnancy this time. Good luck! :hug99:

 

congrats on your 2nd set of twins! i had a dream the nite before i got pg with another set of twins! we will have 4 kids when i deliver the girls so thats it for us

 

I have identical twin boys and identical twin girls. The boys were 2 years 1 month when I had the girls so we had 4 kids 2 years and under. It's was hard.....it's was very hard actually!! Thank goodness my girls were such good babies. They have been sleeping all night since they were 3 months old. As you probably know, the first year is the worst. Just keep thinking, every day is closer to getting easier. Hopefully your older kids will be your little helpers. Will they be in school when the babies are born? Accept any help from anyone that offers. We did not have any help. We raised (are raising) them pretty much on our own. If someone offers, tell them up front that you are going to be calling them.(that way you will find out if they were just saying that to sound nice or if they really meant it.) Really try to take care of yourself from the beginning. Get as much rest as you can. I know it's hard but have things planned for the other kids to do while you rest. Even if it is for 15 minutes at a time.
I was terrified when I found out about the second set. The boys were such hard babies and I did not enjoy the infant times. I really wanted to see what having one baby was like but someone had other plans for us. It is very hard but all worth it.
PM me if you have any other questions or if you just want to chat.
Nancy
Luke and Logan 06-01-04
Lauren and Leah 07-02-06

 

Congratulations! When we went to our first u/s with our youngest, we were both secretly hoping it was another set of twins. You are truly blesssed!!

 

Looks like you're not alone. I'm sure you are extremely overwhelmed. Hopefully this pregnancy will be much smoother than your first. Congrats!

 

Congratulations! Once you get over the shock (again), I'm sure things will look up.
I'm glad you found our website. What a special mommy you are! :hug99:

 

Congratulations!!! I am sure it is scary, but I am sure it will work out. You have come to a great place for support.

Dianna

 

Good Luck. There is another twinstuff member with id 'greengirls' that is expecting her second set. Maybe she could offer some advice?

 

Thanks for all your replies. I worried a little that I would be judged for my ambivalent feelings but appreciate that you are all letting me put voice to my fears. I feel much calmer tonight which is nice - I also feel much less nauseous. I think the two are related. The sicker I feel, the more stressed I become. I have felt so sick and exhausted so far this pregnancy and I know from my first twin pregnancy that it only gets worse... I have so little energy to take care of my kids. I need to remember that I won't feel the way I do now when the twins are born. Yes, life will be much more chaotic but at least physically I will be myself again!

Nancy - I would love to chat more but I don't know how to PM (new to this whole forum thing!). What do I do??

 

QUOTE(twins+1+twins @ Jan 9 2008, 07:12 PM) [snapback]565461[/snapback]
Thanks for all your replies. I worried a little that I would be judged for my ambivalent feelings but appreciate that you are all letting me put voice to my fears. I feel much calmer tonight which is nice - I also feel much less nauseous. I think the two are related. The sicker I feel, the more stressed I become. I have felt so sick and exhausted so far this pregnancy and I know from my first twin pregnancy that it only gets worse... I have so little energy to take care of my kids. I need to remember that I won't feel the way I do now when the twins are born. Yes, life will be much more chaotic but at least physically I will be myself again!

Nancy - I would love to chat more but I don't know how to PM (new to this whole forum thing!). What do I do??

Click on her user name in the post above. It's in the left hand corner of the box and it'll give you options!!

Congratulations on your pregnancy!! I think what makes you a GOOD Mom is that you are worried about where your older kids will "fall" with the arrival of a 2nd set!! :hug99:

There are several Momms on TS!! Welcome!!

 

I am pregnant with my first set of twins, but I felt the same as you in the beginning. It was so hard to accept that we would be having two babies. I have a 12 and 14 year old, so this is a whole new family basically. My husband and I have been trying for 6 years so we are thrilled to finally be pregnant. As time has gone by and the shock has worn off, I have grown to love the idea and the babies. Every time you think of them, hear their heartbeats, and see the ultrasounds you will wish for nothing else. You have already proven yourself to be a good mom with your others, these two will not change that. Hang in there everything happens for a reason. :hug99:

 

I think most of us shocked with our first set of twins know exactly how you are feeling. It's normal. I think I'd be less shocked over a second set...but would probalby struggle with a lot of the same emotions about it not being "fair" to my other kids and wondering how I'm going to be a good mommy. Dh and I are not sure if we are finished yet, but I often think about the possibility of wanting a 5th child and winding up with 6. I'm sure you will do a great job! I hope you have a very healthy long gestation for these two with no complications!

 

QUOTE(twins+1+twins @ Jan 9 2008, 10:55 AM) [snapback]564741[/snapback]
I found out Monday that I am pregnant with twins - again! I have 4 year old B/G twins and a 2 year old G. They are all the greatest kids and get along so well with each other. My husband and I went back and forth on whether to have another and when we decided to try, it happened very quickly. Really severe nausea set in very early and given how hard it's been for me to take care of my 3 children, I started worrying about our choice to have another. Then, I had my first OB appoitment Monday at 11 weeks. My doc does a quick ultrasound at every visit instead of using the doppler - very nice - until my heart almost stopped when he showed me not one but two babies! I have been having a very hard time getting my head around the fact that I am going to have to live through another twin pregnancy - while I delivered 1st set at 36 weeks, I was in the hospital due to a preterm labor scare from 25-28.5 weeks and on strict bedrest to 34 weeks. It was a terrifying and challenging time in my life. I also have a hard time getting my head around the fact that we're going to have 5 children - under the age of 5!! We never thought we'd have 5 kids. Is there anybody out there who has had a second set of twins? Anyone who was initially terrified by the idea? I know that I'm still sort of in a state of shock but I have cried many times in the last 2 days. I just feel afraid - afraid of the pregnancy, afraid of not being able to give enough to the 3 kids we have, afraid that somehow I will no longer be a good mother, afraid that my ambivalence is just unfair to the two babies I am growing now... I am surprised - and a little ashamed - of the way I feel. My husband says that I am just afraid of change and I know that as soon as I hold these babies in my arms I will question how I ever could have felt this way but for now, I just feel so scared. I'd love any advice, reassurance or even to know that there is someone else out there who has had some of these same feelings.

Thanks!

 

Hi,
I just found out a week ago that I am pregnant with my second set of twins. When I heard the news twins again, I cried because I was feeling overwhelmed! I have fraternal twin boys who are 17 months old, they will only be 2 when babies are born. I too am scared! The boys take up all of my time as it is. I love my boys, just can't imagine 2 more babies to take care of. I worry about my boys. They have me full time. I can really say I understand how you feel.
thanks,
christie from Oregon
mom to Ethan and Owen 17 months
pregnant with twins 7 weeks

 

I am mostly a lurker but wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I am 33 weeks with my second set. Our first set will be 4 next week. The intial shock took us a few weeks to get over. Mostly we were just scared of pretem delivery and NICU stay. Our first set came at 30 weeks and spent 6 and 10 weeks in the NICU, the hardest thing we've done. We also have a daughter who was 2 when they were born. We decided to take it easy as much as i can the whole pregnancy and I think it has helped. I was put on modified bedrest at 24 due to thinning. I am on strict bedrest now until next week. My husband and I are really starting to get excited and enjoy this because we are out of the scary time. It will be a fun challenge. Take all the help that you can, you can do this.

 

I am sure that is a shock but it will all work out. We did IVF so we were thrilled with twins and honeslty happy it was not triplets. I hate to sound mean when i say that but i was happy for th two but if it happened now i would be shocked beyond belief... SOmehow it all tens to lay the right way so hang in there... Good luck...

 

I have three children - 4, 2.5, and 1, and I am 15 weeks pregnant with twins. I will also have five children under five. For many weeks I was angry and depressed about the twin pregnancy. The imposition of it all! Something I read really helped me - when you find out you are pregnant with multiples, you have to grieve the "loss" of the singleton pregnancy you thought you would have, and the "normal" life you had lead. To get through the grief, you have to go through all the stages - shock, and anger are part of that. Once I realized that what I was feeling was normal, and that eventually I would get to acceptance, it was so much easier to cope. I am still angry at times about it all, and frustrated, and terrified about caring for all these children. My fears are mostly around money, and the day to day management of the family. How do you feed and clothe that many little kids? Well, many mothers have done it before us, and I suppose I will just find a way as they did. I am keeping a mental list of all the people who have said they can help out. And I am going to call them when the babies come. I will have to reach out more to friends and family, and rely on my community.

You will manage. Just let yourself feel whatever you are feeling, and know that when they arrive, those little babies will be the best thing to happen to your family. My girlfriend reminded me that there is a bigger plan for my life that I am not aware of, and these babies are part of it.

Tamie-Ann