Pre-school evaluation

The boys' daycare does an evaluation when they turn 3 to see whether they're ready to switch into the montessori pre-school program that they have. Personally, I don't think that they're really ready for that. They're very good problem solvers and smart little boogers, but they don't do well in a setting where they are super structured and have to pay attention to what is going on yet. I think the daycare room they're in is good for now because it's structured, but not disruptive if they're off doing something else while there are other activities going on.

I have a few issues with the evaluation though. I know it's an opinion based on a snapshot in time, and the boys are only in two days a week so it would be hard for the workers to really know everything about them. Going through the evaluation, I could see that the daycare worker said they couldn't do things that I know that they are able to do. It's totally possible they refused to do it for her, and that's fine. However, she ranked their communication skills quite low and commented that they were way behind in social skills compared to their peers. In fact, the only thing that they "passed" according to their criteria was gross motor skills, but in communication, social, fine motor and problem solving they were rated either as "critical" or "concern".

1) I am concerned that they seem to be acting a lot different in daycare than they do with us. They've been in daycare about 4 months now and seem to enjoy it, but if they're not communicating with the workers then they're definitely not acting like they do at home. At home they talk non-stop all day, all night, and every moment they're awake. We do have trouble understanding some things they're talking about but they're improving all the time.

2) I have asked the daycare worker repeatedly about how they're doing, how their day went and the only feedback I have ever gotten was when Miles had a bad day a couple of weeks ago and was picking on Austin a lot. It was a phase, it passed and I haven't heard anything since. I am disappointed to hear that she's having trouble communicating with the boys now after so many months.

3) The evaluations for both boys were identical and I know for a fact that they have different skills and different personalities. So I am wondering how much they are looked at as individuals or whether they even care to think of them that way. And what is the solution to that? Ask that they be separated? I hate that they're looked at as a troublesome unit, or as a unit at all.

4) Do I even approach the daycare about this? If the evaluation is just meant to see whether they should move to the preschool room and I agree that they're not ready do I even press the issue? I don't think there's much we can do to improve their social skills ourselves, but I guess I would like to understand what the daycare thinks all of this means.

Maybe I am overreacting or over thinking all this. I guess I just never expected a bad report card at the age of 3 and I don't know how to deal with it!

 

I'd be annoyed, too. They are 3. They go there 2xweek. A little blurb explaining why they felt they weren't yet ready for the preschool program would have been sufficient.

I'd probably just approach the teacher and mention that you were going to talk to her about your boys not being ready to attend the preschool program and then you received their report and had some questions. Then, I'd ask her your questions. Is she comparing your boys who attend 2xweek to other kids who are there full time? The whole thing seems a bit formal to me for a 3 year old.

Try not to let it bother you. You don't think they are ready for preschool, so just go with that. :hug:

 

That would definitely bother me, and I would probably have to question it. Being a mom, it's hard not to take it personally, even though it's not meant that way at all. My kids are in preschool two mornings a week, but it's more a structured learning setting. If they are ever evaluated on anything, it's something concrete. Counting skills, writing their name, etc. And then it's just do they know it or not, what can we work on, it's not seen as anything negative and they're not assigned an unsatisfactory "grade". If they have issues with other areas that are more arbitrary, like social skills I'm sure it would be more of a discussion about how we can work on it together. So yeah, I'd have a big problem with that. I know my kids are very shy. They're loud and crazy at home, but I know they're very shy and quiet at school. But they follow instruction well, listen, and follow the structure of the day well, and they're very bright. I'm more than happy with that, as I know they'll come out of their shell eventually. And I think the teachers know that too. All kids are different, and I'm surprised that teachers that work in early childhood education aren't taking that into account on their evaluations.

My kids just had their last day on Thursday, and I was actually a little disappointed I didn't see a "report card" or evaluation or anything. But I know that's because it's not about the "grades" and work right now. They're three. I know that just means there weren't any issues. If there were any problems about advancing to the next level in the fall, we would have been contacted. So I'm surprised you were given such a formal evaluation, with no discussion or feedback. I

 

I should clarify; each category was a whole bunch of specific criteria like "can your child draw a straight line", "do they know their first and last name", etc. and there was a yes, sometimes, not yet option for each criteria. I know that a few of them were mislabeled. For example, one was "can your child describe an activity of a character in a book" and I know they can do that, but they both had it marked down as no. There were a few like that.

It's not so much that they were classified as behind in certain areas, but that the evaluation was given without warning and was stapled to their daily report with no discussion or follow up. I only know that it is the evaluation that determines whether they go into pre-school because I have a good friend who goes to the same daycare. Plus, the fact that every single criteria was ranked exactly the same for both twins really bothers me. I would be really ticked if the kids needs were getting overlooked because they aren't being looked at as individuals.

I am going to talk to their daycare room supervisor when I go in on Monday and see what she has to say.

 

Mine don't go to daycare but they do preschool 2 times a week. We only started this year at age 4. It's the YMCA Preschool. My kids LOVE IT!! And they are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo shy. They do conferences and have only had wonderful things to say about my boys. And at age 4... that's pretty much all they should have to say barring any problems with hitting or biting which we do not have.

*Obviously if they uncover some problem the parent doesn't know about I'd want to know but I'm pretty intuitive w/ them so I'm on top of that*.

I would expect to be notified IMMEDIATELY of any bad behavior. They would be punished immediately.

As far as a TEST.. Negative. I don't agree with it. I see school as a fun place to get to know the environment of school and having other kids around. Listening to teachers is also good but passing tests? No. Not really my idea of fun at that young age.

I wouldn't like it and I certainly wouldn't like the negative report. I mean, I'd probably be mad enough to go right back in and even switch schools to a more laid back setting, but that's just me.

I was a teacher before I got pg.

Kids go to school for like 30 years of their lives. Why start off soo harshly?

Just my opinion.

 

Jen, I would definitely discuss the results with the daycare. They should be more communicative with you about their findings and be able to answer how your boys were evaluated.

I will tell you that my two are very shy (my DD is under treatment for social anxiety disorder) and going to their little preschool program, they rely on each other & follow each other's cues. At this point in the game, I do not have the option of separating them but hopefully when they start kindergarten, I will be able too. I think, in our case, when my two are forced to interact without the other one around, they might do better.
And if they were to have that type of evaluation at school, I would have a feeling that they would not score well socially because they definitely are not as social at school as they are at home.

I would also agree with Jori and to follow your instincts about their placement in the Montessori school. Keep us posted with how it all goes.

 

So when my daycare evaluates the kids, they do it with things they have at the daycare. So if they asked about a character in a book, they would ask about one they are reading that day. So the kids may not be as familiar. My daycare does evaluations but they only give them to you during parent teacher conferences when you have a chance to sit down and talk. I would request a conference to go over the evaluation so you can get some specifics.

 

Hmmm that's tough, maybe they are shy when they get in social situations so it seems to the workers that they are behind when they really aren't? My girls aren't in preschool yet but when we just took them to their 4 year check up, the doctors and nurses would ask them things and they literally just sat there and did not respond. When they did an eye check they only answered half of what they were asked so they thought they had a vision problem (they don't....I tested them when we got home and they got them all right). It's just a matter of when they are in certain situations they clam up and get shy. Maybe that is something happening with your little ones?

 

Thanks for all the feedback! I am going to bring it up when I take them in next and just go through it. I definitely see how they could be acting shy at daycare or just not being as communicative. I also know that they can be stubborn about following directions or going along with the crowd. My kids can be pretty high maintenance because they are very strong willed and into everything. That's part of the reason that I put them in daycare, to help them learn to listen to other adults and follow a routine. I think what frustrates me is that I was just handed an evaluation with some very negative stuff on it with no context or explanation when I have never heard anything negative in any of their daily reports. Plus the fact that everything in their reports was exactly the same is very suspicious to me; you'd think at least one criteria would be a little bit different if it was an honest evaluation.

I guess we'll see what kind of response I get, but I am very disappointed in how this was handled. I don't want to come across as one of those "my kids are perfect, how dare you write bad things about them" mommies because I know that there's things for them to work on. I just would have appreciated more communication. And frankly, it would have been nice if they could have said one or two nice things in the report as well.