My girls are only a week old, but I have PPD. I know this cause all I had with Emily was the baby blues....this is way worse. It is getting worse by the day too. It started with being sad about not being pg anymore and knowing I would probably never experience again. Now it is flat out depression and withdraw. I cry alot and feel that I am connecting with the girls like I want to. I want to enjoy them so bad, but feel so heavy hearted. I hate it and I want to go away. I worked to hard to get them and hate the fact that I feel this way. I had a follow-up appt with my OB on Wed. He perscribed Zoloft, but I am having a lot of the side effects and it makes me feel like I have the stomache flu. That is not making the situation better for me. I am scared to death that this going to get worse and not better and I am going to be completely withdrawn from the babies. I don't want that. April
April - I am sorry to hear you have PPD. I had not experienced PPD but I definitely had a bad case of the "baby blues" with my first child, and I also am experiencing the sadness of knowing I will never experience pregnancy again or experience each phase of the baby. I know a couple of my friends did have PPD and they did use medication to feel bettter. Hopefully, other women on this site can tell you what worked for them. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you. Hope things get better soon.
Hi April, I have PPD too and was given Zoloft. I had the same side effects initially, but after about 10 days, they wore off and I started to feel better. Do you have anyone there that can help you with the babies? I know when I started the Zoloft, my Mom came and stayed with me and DH for 2 weeks until I started to feel better. Do you have anyone like that you can lean on? I have had depression for many years in my life, but PPD was absolutely the worst. Like you said, you worked so hard to have these babies and so desperately want to be happy and can't be. Call your OB to see if they can switch your meds too if you just can't stand the side effects of the Zoloft. There are so many meds out there that there should be one that can help you without making you too miserable. Just remember that you are not alone. :hug99:
April. :hug99: Honey, call the doc back and tell him about the side effects. He might be able to put you on something else. Most likely though, the side effects will go away fairly quickly. I had PPD with all of my kids. With the twins it hit me while I was still in the hospital. It's going to get better, you just have to give the meds a chance. Please PM me if you need to talk. I have battled depression for most of my life, and I know how you feel. :hug99: :hug99: :hug99: :hug99: :hug99: :hug99: :hug99:
I agree with Becky, you need to go back to your OB and try something different. Also, see if you can see a therapist and talk about some of your feelings right now, it will really help matters. :hug99: :hug99:
April--I think you ought to call your doctor right away, I wouldn't wait. I also got PPD and am still on meds (Lexipro), luckily though I didn't get the severity of side effects that you are having. I'm sure the doctor has other meds he can suggest to you. I hope you start to feel better soon, once you get on the right meds/dosage you'll really see a difference. In the meantime just do the best you can and ask for help from anyone willing to give it. :love0028:
Hi, April. I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. :hug99: I had PPD too, and it was just awful. In addition to feeling depressed, I also felt very withdrawn from the babies. It was really scary - when they were born, I was totally in love, but when the depression hit, I felt numb and withdrawn, like I just couldn't connect with them. You are not alone, and no matter how scary the thoughts and feelings are, it's just the depression talking. You can and will get better. Think of it like the flu - when you've got bad flu, you're achy all over and can't even concentrate on a TV commercial, but you know it's just an illness and you'll get better and it's not the "real you." Depression is the same way, but since it's a mental "flu" it's a lot harder to think of it that way. QUOTE He perscribed Zoloft, but I am having a lot of the side effects and it makes me feel like I have the stomache flu. That happened to me with Zoloft too. Some questions: What is your dose? Did you start with a low dose and work your way up to a higher dose? (Starting with a high dose can make side effects worse.) Can you experiment with taking it at different times of day? Could you split the dose and take some in the am, some in the pm? (My psychiatrist said that's one way to lessen side effects.) It's also possible that your dose is just too high, period. I recovered quickly from depression on a pretty low dose. Higher isn't necessarily better. But anyway, as pps said, those side effects typically go away after a week. If you can hang in there a little longer, you should start feeling better. I would also strongly, STRONGLY urge you to talk to a therapist. Therapy helped me enormously. I really don't know if I would have recovered without it. And it not only helped me at the time, but gave me new thought habits and coping skills that I still use now that I'm better. QUOTE I am scared to death that this going to get worse and not better and I am going to be completely withdrawn from the babies. That's exactly how I felt with PPD... It is such a scary place to be. But I promise you, you WILL get better, you will feel like yourself again, you will be able to bond with the babies, and you will love them so much your heart could burst. Lots and lots of hugs to you. Please feel free to PM me anytime. :hug99:
You poor thing. I've battled depression for 10 years and have been on just about every med out there. I also tend to suffer from the side effects as well. Surprisingly, a low dose of good 'ole Prozac finally worked the best for me. I went off it while pregnant, but when my incision opened after my section I went plummeting head first into PPD. I went back on the Prozac and it has helped so much. I will not ever be pregnant again either and there are still times the thought of that makes me sad. I feel like I also have spent time "mourning" my pregnancy because it was so tough...but my doctor assured me that those feelings are normal for me. The OB is a good place to get immediate treatment for PPD, but I would try to find a psychiatrist who you can talk to and who is better trained on the different anti-depressants and their effects. Good luck to you.
:hug99: I hope you find something that works for you and that you come through this just fine. I'm doing OK now but in the early days of the twins, I read some of my journal entries and they were scary ... I hope you get the help you need. :hug99:
April, I had PPD with my dd, and am terrified of having it again when the twins are born. Zoloft really worked for me, but it did take a week to 10 days. And at first it intensified my anxiety, which was terrifying. My whole family is in the midwest and I'm on the east coast. My mom was visiting, but honestly, that didn't help me. When I was at my worst, I called my oldest sister and just cried and told her how scared I was. (Actually, I am ready to cry now, because I know how terrifying it is, and I could be facing it again.) If there is anyone, anywhere in your life, that can comfort you, please reach out to them. The shocking thing was that once the Zoloft started to work, I was back to my old self within about 2 - 3 weeks (and remained on the Zoloft for quite a while). If you don't have a therapist, please try to find one. I think that also helped me get through. Also, the hospital where you delivered may offer group therapy for moms with PPD. Good luck, and keep posting here as you need to.
Thank you everyone for responses....they honestly helped so much. My OB perscribed 50mg of the Zoloft. There was no working up either. I think it did make me feel worse. Saturday was a very rough day. Before I got pg I was perscribed Wellbutron when dealing with the IF. I remembered I had refills, so I stopped the Zoloft and began the Wellbutron since I know how I tolerate that. I am doing better now...I started feeling better yesterday. Saturday I didn't want to be around anyone, but Sunday I had my sis over and my aunt and uncle and it was nice. It is so scary to feel that way....I have never felt like that before. I am still a little off but nothing like I was. I do have a therapist, but my insurance no longer covers her because she doesn't have a Ph D. (nice huh)...so I need to see if I can switch. DH has been so understand and wonderful about this. He too has suffered from depression and just keep telling me to give the meds time and it will get better. He is helping so much. Thank you everyone....it means a lot! April
So glad you were resourceful and remembered the Wellbutrin...but DO try to get to a psychiatrist and/or therapist to work out the meds. Wellbutrin and zoloft/celexa/lexapro work very differently and you may want to try another zoloft-type drug or combine wellbutrin with something else or...? Getting anti-depressants right seems to require as much art as science, and OBs don't specialize in it, so don't have as much exposure to what works. It's early yet - you're still exhausted. For that matter, so are your babies. They just need your warmth and loving arms right now. My guys are 9 weeks now and I remember these feelings so well - being terrified that the exhaustion-induced apathy was going to scar them forever, and that I was slipping into another bout of major depression. Remember to take each day one-by-one! Tomorrow might be worse, but it's might also be better. Sounds like you know all of this, and are on the right track back.You're doing what you need to do to make things better, and you should be really proud of yourself for that.
Lots of hugs, April. I've had PPD with both of my boys and am anticipating it again once the twins are born. I also take Zoloft, but had no side-effects. It works very well for me. Usually, it takes about 10 days for an anti-depressent to get into your system so hopefully you'll feel balanced out very soon. A big kudos to you for stepping up and talking to your doctor about it. The first year flies by and I know you want to enjoy it as much as possible. It takes a lot of courage to admit that something's not right and many women let it go, hoping it doesn't get worse or just goes away. You're a great mama for taking care of it soon. I hope you're feeling great and enjoying your beautiful babies!
QUOTE DO try to get to a psychiatrist and/or therapist to work out the meds. Wellbutrin and zoloft/celexa/lexapro work very differently and you may want to try another zoloft-type drug or combine wellbutrin with something else or...? Getting anti-depressants right seems to require as much art as science, and OBs don't specialize in it, so don't have as much exposure to what works. Couldn't agree more... QUOTE My OB perscribed 50mg of the Zoloft. There was no working up either. I think it did make me feel worse. When I had PPD, I was lucky to go to a mental health clinic & see a psychiatrist who works almost exclusively with women w/ PPD/depression during pregnancy. She started me on 25 mg, then upped it to 50. 50 didn't sit well (bad side effects + more anxiety), so we went back to 25. After a while, we upped it to 37.5, which seemed just right. Some time later, we tried 50 again - and again had problems, so decided if it works don't fix it. The dr. also said that she always starts patients on a very low dose to see how it's tolerated - which makes me think (like pp said) that maybe you need more of a specialist than your OB... QUOTE It's early yet - you're still exhausted. For that matter, so are your babies. They just need your warmth and loving arms right now. My guys are 9 weeks now and I remember these feelings so well - being terrified that the exhaustion-induced apathy was going to scar them forever, and that I was slipping into another bout of major depression. Remember to take each day one-by-one! Tomorrow might be worse, but it's might also be better. Again, couldn't agree more! Anyway, I'm glad you're feeling just a little better, or have had at least one better day. I hope you can find the great treatment you deserve, and that the depression lifts quickly. Depression is an awful ordeal to begin with; so much worse when you have two new little lives depending on you and you don't even have energy to get out of bed. :hug99: Sending you lots of hugs and good wishes, and hope for recovery.
I just wanted to let you all know, that TS now has a new subforum for Mental Health Issues! I am really excited that we now have a forum for this type of thing, since it effects so many of us! It is a private forum, so if you would like the password, please PM me! We can all help each other through this! Here is the link to the new forum, it is under the Special Interests section.... http://www.twinstuff.com/forum/index.php?showforum=96 :hug99:
