PPD Question

Hi there... My kids are almost 11 months old, and I am thinking that maybe I have PPD? I have no patience, I can't sleep even when they sleep, I can't even remember who I am (Like what I like ect...).. I have felt like this for a while and had hoped that it would go away, but nope, it gets worse! I think that part of it has to do with some behavior issues we have had with our daughter since the twins arrived, but seriously, some of my thoughts and reactions to her behaviors are not at all rational... Not that would hurt her, but they are not the normal reaction that I would have... At 11 months can it still be PPD or am I just a B**ch? Honestly it feels a little more like anxiety or PTSD (post traumatic stress)... Thoughts?

 

With my first son, I knew something was wrong within the first month of him coming home. I was a single mom living with my parents and I tried to talk to my mom about it. She had 5 kids, but never experienced what I was talking about. So I tried to push passed it. Fast forward two years...I had a huge breakdown...I was totally irrational and I thought I was going to hurt my son. By then I was living on my own and I had a friend take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed with depression and put on Zoloft. I am convinced it was PPD even after two years. I then remained on the Zoloft for a 1 1/2 years. It helped me sooo much. So yes even after 11 months I think it is possible to be suffering from PPD. I would definitely go to the Dr. and tell him about it. So far all my other pregnancies have been fine, but I'm also using various supplements and that might be helping me. It's hard to say...it may have just been that pregnancy. I'll keep you in my prayers.

 

I think you should go see your doctor. It's good that you are recognizing this behavior. Get it under control before it gets out of control. I am on Lexapro from ppd. It happened pretty fast. I also felt like I was a B#%**. Your not alone and it's ok. Please seek help and get a professional opinion.

 

I think you should see your doc. If it is PPD there are things that can help you get back to normal. Hope things get better

 

I am sorry you're going through this, especially for so long now. I felt I had PTSD after my first pregnancy--medication plus therapy helped tremendously. Please be sure to be honest with your MD about how badly you're feeling...kinda depressed is medicated differently than severe depression and anxiety.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I remember feeling the way you do and I was so hopeless it was frightening. But things turned around 180 and they can for you too...feel free to PM me anytime :hug:

 

Ooh you use the exact words I used when I was realizing I had ppd. Go see your doc, honey. I know in MY case, getting treatment for ppd was the BEST thing I've ever done.

 

I was there with my second son. I realized something was finally wrong when he was about 8 months old. I went on wellbutrin and turned into a new woman. I then realized I had this with my first DD as well. I really wish I would of taken care of it earlier after I had her. I have to say it was a lot easier going through this twin pregnancy with the meds. I did have to get the meds adjusted after they were born, but it has saved my sanity and I no longer snipe and B****. Go see your dr. They will help.

 

I was dx-ed with PPD when the girls were 14 months old. So yes it absolutely can be PPD. Go talk to your doctor. I feel so much better now that I've changed the way I do some things and also the medication that I take. GL and :hug:

 

It could definitely be PPD - and even if it's not classified as PPD, it definitely sounds like some kind of depression. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. :hug: Since you mention a lot of anxiety - anxiety is a pretty common depression symptom, as is the "just not myself." I hope you can talk to a doctor you feel comfortable with soon, and start feeling better! :hug:

 

I think that if you are questioning how you feel- you probably already "know" something isn't right. It doesn't sound like you are a B**** (as you put it)- it sounds like you know you don't usually react to situations this way and are aware you might need some support. I think you are courageous and commendable for recognizing that you might benefit from support and are seeking input. I would call your doctor and discuss your feelings with them. At about six months I felt the same way and had expected it to have passed by then. I called my doctor and began medication and cannot tell you what a wonderful difference it has made. Hugs- I hope you find the answers you are looking for and things get better soon!

 

I definitly think that it could be some form of ppd. I really noticed my own ppd when the babies were around 5 months old. As a pp mentioned, it happens very fast. For me, it also was treated very quickly and it was amazing the difference. Now that I have the right meds and a therapist to talk to, I feel just like myself again. Actually, I feel even better. Feel free to pm me if you need to "talk" or have any questions or anything.
Also, the anxiety is really the worst. I just wanted to add that I think that if you are not sleeping even when they sleep then that is a good sign that the anxiety is real and you may want to get help for it. Also, keep in mind you are probably very tired which definitly makes one feel like a b****.
I would reccomend that you see a psychologist or psychiatrist rather than a primary or your ob. My ob did not really know what she was doing (why would she, she is an ob, not a psyc.) and put me on meds that really messed me up even more. I did not get correctly treated until I went to a psyc. or someone qualified to treat depression, bi-polar, whatever...

 

Thanks ladies! I really felt pretty good right after they were born... Probably for the first 3-4 months, but things just keep getting harder... Pretty much for my entire life people have commented on how easy going and patient I am... Actually, before the twins I was a Special Education Teacher for Behaviorally Disordered kids... I NEVER yelled at them, but now I feel like screaming at my daughter all the time... I will say that she does do things to the babies that concern me, like pinch and push them... She knows better and there really seems to be no connection between her actions and her mood... Like she pushe Ian HARD so that he fell on his face and got a rug burn on his head after having gone swimming and having a great time with her cousins... So not like she had just gotten in trouble... We are also starting an evaluation for her behavior, but I feel like I am just so angry and tense all the time that she feels it and acts out even when things are going well??? Anyway, I will definately call my doctor Monday, but do I call my OB? We actually moved here only about a month before I got pregnant and I have not seen any doctors outside of an OB and an Osteopathic doctor since we got here... Of course the kids see a pediatircian, but that's pretty much it!

 

You can call your ob and see if she can recommend someone for you to go see. Mine did.

 

I thought that I would post an update... I did call my OB and talked to the Nurse for about a half hour about what was going on... Basically, I called and said that I had some questions about PPD. She asked when I delivered and I said well... November. I told her that we had twins and that the first 4-5 months I felt pretty good. I really did, I remember being so proud of myself at how well I was dealing... But then things started getting harder with my daughter and she was really starting to act out more. SHe has done a few things to intentionally hurt them like pincing Ethan when he was about 3 Months old, Pushing Ian down just a couple weeks ago... I have lost pretty much any time to do anything alone or for myself. Pretty much because my husband works about 70 hours a week since I am home with the kids and we have bills based on a 2 income household! I told her that I have just been so angry and anxious all the time... It is like I just keep waiting for the next thing... I never answer the phone because of tons of collections calls since we were not planning on becoming a single income house. So I am even anxious when the phone rings, actually there are times I think the phone is rining and really it isn't! Really our lives are so different from what we had planned that it is like I don't even know who I am. The babies also don't sleep well... For the last 3 months they have been up 3-4 times a night each... I would sleep when they do, but I am so focused on them waking up that i never go to sleep. I told her that actually I wish for the days when they were newborns because they did sleep a lot and they were pretty easy actually. Now they are just all over the place and it seems like they are more of a challenge every day... Anyway, she was very supportive and gave me all kids of numbers for help and that was good. She also talked to my doctor and he wants to see me tomorrow! So, I go in tomorrow and hopefully things will start moving in the right direction.

Anyway, thank you to all of you who were so supportive. I feel guilty for the way I have been feeling and acting and really it is just time to do something.

 

QUOTE(Stephanie1074 @ Sep 30 2008, 01:39 AM) [snapback]1004053[/snapback]
I feel guilty for the way I have been feeling and acting and really it is just time to do something.


:hug: Stephanie. No need to feel guilty. You ARE doing something about it. I hope you start to feel better very soon.