Potty Training

My twins are 13 mo old. Ayden won't leave a diaper on if it is wet. He even manages to get them off if he has on a one piece outfit. In the mornings he pulls off his pj pants and takes his diaper off before I can even get in there to get him out of his bed. When we went for shots the dr saw him pulling at a wet diaper and said that was a sign to start potty training. He can hardly walk, and only says about 6 words, so how do you potty train someone who can't even tell you he needs to go. I don't even have a clue how to start. HELP!!!!!!!!!

 

I have no idea. Do you do sign language with him? Does he ever communicate BEFORE he goes? I would think that is a bigger sign for being ready to PT as opposed to not liking a wet diaper. If you want, get a little potty chair (because you will probably need it eventually anyway), and see if he is interested. But just take his lead since he is really young. GL! I would have asked the doctor "How would YOU PT a 13 month old?" Does your doctor have kids of her/his own?

 

I would have no idea about PT a 13 month old. My boys were PT at 2.5 and the ped thought that was GREAT!! She said most of the kids shw say didnt even start learning till after 3 years old

I do wish you the best of luck with what ever you dsecide

 

There is a HUGE difference between being uncomfortable in a wet diaper and knowing that they need to go before they actually do. Unless he is telling you before he goes, I wouldn't even pursue it, because all it will do is frustrate you both.

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ May 18 2009, 10:29 AM) [snapback]1318024[/snapback]
There is a HUGE difference between being uncomfortable in a wet diaper and knowing that they need to go before they actually do. Unless he is telling you before he goes, I wouldn't even pursue it, because all it will do is frustrate you both.


Exactly!

I didn't even try with mine until they were 3 and it just clicked. I am so glad I waited until then.

 

Does your doctor have children?

13 months is too early IMO. I've always heard that when they wake up consistently dry from naps, that's when you start.

 

I would never have tried PTing my boys at 13 months of age, mostly for the communication reasons you mentioned. However, I know there are people who do something called "elimination communication" and it is kind of like PTing - it can be done even with itty bitty babies. You might try googling it for some tips on how to successfully get a child to go on the potty despite limited communication abilities.

Good luck!!

 

If your Dr's therory is correct, then I should of started potty training Jake when he was a newborn. As soon as he would poop, you had to change him ASAP or he would freak out. Overtime he's learned to deal with a poopy diaper until I notice it and change him.

I agree with everyone else that 13 months is way too early.

But then again there are those woman who swear you can potty train an infant at 2 months old.

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ May 18 2009, 04:29 PM) [snapback]1318024[/snapback]
There is a HUGE difference between being uncomfortable in a wet diaper and knowing that they need to go before they actually do. Unless he is telling you before he goes, I wouldn't even pursue it, because all it will do is frustrate you both.

I agree. I can't imagine even trying to potty train a child that young.

Your Dr is right that realising that peeing=wet/uncomfortable diaper is something you look for to start potty training, but it is just one sign. IMO you need much more than that; a child who can pull up/down their pants, who can understand and follow simple instructions (eg "put the red ball in the box"), who can sit still and concentrate for a couple of minutes, and who can communicate their wants/needs for a start.

 

From the other side: when my girls were 13 months old, they were able to communicate when they had to go pee, by signing (we used the sign for toilet) or just making eye contact with me, then looking down at themselves (as in, "I'm watching myself pee!") At this point they had no words. Right now, at almost 17 months, they are able to communicate when they have a wet diaper on and want it off, or if they're naked, that they have to go pee. So yes, it is possible. They are not toilet trained in the same sense that my 4 year old is, but like with anything else (hunger, tired and so on), if I listen to them when they communicate with me then we don't have any problems. We accomplished all of this by doing a lot of naked time.

Also, babies are born knowing when they have to go pee, in the same way that they are born knowing when they are hungry. The difference is that we react to their hunger cues, while we make them take care of their own toilet issues by putting them in diapers.

I know most Americans think this all seems like a lot of work, but as far as I can see, I am teaching my children to communicate with me, in the same way that I would on any other issue.

 

I'm not there with mine yet, but it wouldn't hurt to 'show' him how to do it. Maybe DH can show him how to do it and talk [or sign to] him through the process? And of course he's not going to learn right away. But maybe if he see's what goes on, then he'll get a better understanding of it and that will help him for when he's really ready to go for it on his own.

 

I don't think your doctor is crazy. My boys would not communicate need but could undress themselves very early (they mastered removing a onesie at 14 months but they could pull down pants and remove diapers before their first birthday). Anyway, they kept pulling off their clothes and going potty on the floor. Drove me nuts! For the longest time, I listened to all of my well-meaning mommy friends who said they were too young, it wouldn't work because they couldn't tell me, etc. and I did everything short of straight jackets trying to keep them dressed and in diapers. And then it hit me. If they can get their clothes off, they don't actually need to tell you! I put a couple of little potties out and let them run naked after telling them that they needed to use the potty, not the floor. Presto, they instantly naked trained at 21 months. I wish I'd done it at 14 months! FWIW, I think they were almost 3 before they ever told me they needed to go potty (and only did it then because we were visiting someone and they didn't know where the bathroom was) but they will call "all done" to me after they go poop so it has all worked out just fine.

If you want to give it a whirl, naked time is a good way to start for a lot of people.

 

I thought it was crazy a few months ago when I met a mom of a singleton who had an 8 month old that she said was "diaper free"... and sure enough she called it Elimination Communication. another mom in the group learned from her and did it with her 7 month old... I think there's a book called Diaper Free... but you can google it too. I was interesting... basically it was more about the adult getting in tuned with the babies natural rhythms so that you are the one to "cue" them to pee & poop... I bet if yours is already able to communicate that they don't like to sit in the pee... you might have an easier time with it... sure would be nice not to have to buy diapers, huh?!

I've done charts for other things, food and naps, and keep meaning to focus on diapers.. just haven't done it and haven't read that book either. good luck.

 

My daughter (who is almost 4) was waking up dry from her naps at 18 months. I thought she was too young to start potty training because my son didn't start until he was 2 1/2. Any way, I sat a potty seat in the bathroom and gave it a go. She caught on right away and was fully trained by 20 months. My twins are 16 months and I can't imagine starting in 2 months but who knows? Maybe I'll give it a try. The best advice I can give you is try it and if it doesn't work, stop and wait a month or so. I let myself get totally frustrated with my son and it was unneccessary. He was potty trained before he turned 3. I honestly would wait until your son wakes up dry from naps but you know him the best. You will receive lots of opinions on potty training but I've found you need to do what's best for you. It's not just the child who will "training"...it's the parent's as well since consistency is key. Good luck! ;-)

 

My twins are 18 months and my DS has struggled a lot with constipation. We ALWAYS know when he needs to/is going poop. About 2 months ago we started sitting him on the potty when he started to "go" and it has done wonders for his constipation! Anyway, communication is definitely an issue (he has Down syndrome, so we are working on signing but he isn't using words quite yet) but I am hoping that this consistency with having him poop on the potty every day will help when he is ready to potty train. My DD, his twin, has watched this and has started telling us "pee" whenever she goes... when she needs to poop she comes right over to me and says "oh, pee" (meaning poop). Today I asked her if she wanted to poop on the potty like her brother and she said yes, let me put her there, and went!

Anyway, I like the naked training and putting small potties down and seeing what happens. I think I'm going to try it! 18 months seems young to me (and 13 months seems really young!) but if they are showing any signs it can't hurt to encourage it. If they don't respond, let it go until they are older.

 

It's funny that the pp mentioned the constipation. We have struggled with Jack for months with constipation and when he is not constipated he tries to hold it in turn making it worse. A couple weeks ago my daycare provider asked me if it was okay if she started working with him with the potty chair. I told her go for it because at this point it couldn't hurt. He has been happily pooping everyday on the potty chair ever since. It has made a world of difference. I thought that at 11 months he was waaaay too young, but he seems to be proving me wrong to a point. Both he and his brother can get out of their clothes and diapers already and they love being naked. Even though it seems early we are slowly working on it and Jack especially is really doing well with it. James mostly just likes that he gets to be naked when he sits on the chair, but at least he is getting the experience.

 

wow thats early but i guess the ped thinks theyre giving you signals theyre ready. im not even trying til after new baby is born in december and things settle down. i dont want any regression or anything so ill just wait. i know with all my younger siblings my mom waited to they showed interest, would come to her and say poop, good luck!!

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ May 18 2009, 03:29 PM) [snapback]1318024[/snapback]
There is a HUGE difference between being uncomfortable in a wet diaper and knowing that they need to go before they actually do. Unless he is telling you before he goes, I wouldn't even pursue it, because all it will do is frustrate you both.


I agree. I think I'd just invest in some duct tape for now.

 

QUOTE(Sara @ May 18 2009, 09:48 AM) [snapback]1317967[/snapback]
My twins are 13 mo old. Ayden won't leave a diaper on if it is wet. He even manages to get them off if he has on a one piece outfit. In the mornings he pulls off his pj pants and takes his diaper off before I can even get in there to get him out of his bed. When we went for shots the dr saw him pulling at a wet diaper and said that was a sign to start potty training. He can hardly walk, and only says about 6 words, so how do you potty train someone who can't even tell you he needs to go. I don't even have a clue how to start. HELP!!!!!!!!!


Wow, good luck with that. My girls are three years old, and I still can't get one to poop on the potty. Hopefully you will be more successful than me!! I only just got mine to start peeing last November, that just seems really, really early. But, I'm sure someone on here has had success with that.

 

I think your doc is on something-- 13 months old IS WAY TOO YOUNG to think about potty training-- My first trained at 2 and THAT is REALLY EARLY -- docs don't know everything

 

ditto to maybell's post on elimination communication- my friend's daughter was 10 months and she was trained-- and believe me, she was the only one for a good 2 years++++ out of all my friends w/ babies that age-- but, if you've got some superpower energy to go for it -- it's worth a google hunt at least.....

I'd have some questions for your dr:
1. do you/did you have children? if so, when exactly did you (read you, not wife, sitter, nanny, etc) train them?
2. do you/did you have twins?
3. are you sure you're sane??

I read a funny bit in 'there we go' (book) about how a twin mom had to start putting her kids clothes on backwards & duct-taping the diapers on because they were such houdini's.

good luck. and let your conscience rest quite assured... dr is sooooo wrong on this one-- it is a sign- like one sign in a long list of them-- sort of like having a headache doesn't mean it's a tumor (thank you kindergarten cop)

phew, 13 months eh-- guess mine are safe- we're not even walking yet. that's my first criteria for PT. LOL!

 

I think that 13months is probably too early to begin training. The concept of elimination training is based on the parent's awareness, not the childs. Potty training is based more the the childs awareness of a need to pee. They do feel the need to pee, but it happens immediately before they go. Poo urges happen a little bit sooner and that's why it's easier to poo train a baby then wet train a baby. If you started now, and your LO isn't ready for it, you may be setting yourself up for a long, stressful time. Getting a potty now and putting it where the child can see it will help the child get used to it's presence, and letting the child play with it, practice sitting on it(in clothes or naked) will introduce the child in a safe and calm way to the potty. But to try at 13 month, for a pre-verbal child, may just cause lots of stress. My first son trained at about 27months, and my daughter is able to tell me after see has gone poo, and sometimes while she is going, so we are going to be buying a potty soon, to introduce them to it.

Good luck and don't sweat it. The all learn eventually.