Potty training woes

This potty training thing is so much harder than I ever expected. My girls are both actually doing really great at peeing in the potty and Cricket even poops in the potty. They've been pretty much in underwear for five days now and we've had only one accident.

However, neither of them seems to fully like wearing underwear or peeing in the potty. They wear diapers at night and at naptime, and every time we take a diaper off and offer underwear, they resist. Cricket will protest once and then put on the underwear happily and wear it the rest of the day. She'll ask for a diaper maybe once a day and if we push back a little (saying something like 'Cricket, you don't need a diaper, you're doing a great job with your underwear') she doesn't usually seem to worry. I do think she's ready and that this isn't a stressful process for her.

Piper, on the other hand, is really adamant sometimes about not wanting to pee in the potty. She will twist and turn and run away if I try to put her on the potty. (she's fine with it probably 70% of the time, and resists 30% of the time) She also tells us several times a day that she wants a diaper. I am clueless whether I should just give her the diaper and try the next day with underwear again, or whether I should refuse the diaper and tell her to stick with the underwear. Or whether this is a sign that she's truly not ready and we should wait a few months. To add to the confusion, there are whole blocks of time where she does great. I went to the library yesterday with the girls. Piper asked to pee in the potty after about ten minutes of reading books and playing with the stuffed animals, so we went into the bathroom, she sat on the adult potty, peed almost immediately, then was really pleased with herself.

I'm not in a hurry to get them to potty train, so I don't mind waiting if they're not ready. I just hate to start and stop when perhaps I'm stopping for the wrong reason. We have a nanny during the day who has better luck with the potty training situation, and she thinks we should continue the process and just tell Piper (nicely) that she's a big girl now who can wear underwear. But I don't want to stress Piper out. So how long do I push her to wear underwear and pee in the potty before I say that she's not ready, rather than just that she's stubborn?

I'm a big fat mess of woulda coulda shoulda right now. Does anyone have advice?

*Edited to add some extra information

 

Not sure how helpful this is, but thought I would try.

From my exerience, if they are ready, PT should NOT be a painful experience. Readiness can manifest in a number of ways. Since I don't know your child, it is hard to know if the issues you are having are in fact readiness or something else. My son trained himself before he was 2.5. I think he had 2 accidents the first month that were really my fault and that was it. Now at 4, he still sleeps in a diaper that is soaked each AM so I know he is physically not ready to give that up. My daughter did not train until just over 3. There was no resistance, just physical inability to control having to go to the bathroom. When she did finally train, she was completely diaper-free in less than a week. It took her longer to develop the control, but once she did, day and night training happened simultaneously.

Best of luck!

 

If you've had five good days with some complaining/protesting, absolutely you should move forward! Do NOT give her a diaper even if she asks for one. Trust me, you are not emotionally scarring the kiddo.

Clearly Piper knows how to use the potty, so let her use it. If you stand firm, she'll realize soon enough that it's the only option. But, if you backtrack and let her have a diaper when she wants one, it will just confuse her when -- at some point -- you say no.

(IMHO, of course.)

Sounds like the girls are doing great!!

 

Becca can I fly you up here to NY to train my girls?! PLEASE! Meara is almost trained, but Ana isn't even though she knows how to go... and its TOTALLY.MY.FAULT! Tricia, I am in a similar situation but I've backed down and we are back in diapers. I really wanted to be diaper-free by the end of summer, but oh well that didn't happen. Now I want them to be diaper-free by the time we go cross country in December. I'm hoping that deadline works out. GL with potty training your cuties!

 

It sounds like you're doing a great job, and the fact that they are responding so well MOST of the time makes me think they're fully ready. I think once you see that they can do it, if you're consistent and firm that that's the way things are going to be from now on, they'll get it.
When PT my boys I had an empty threat backfire with one when I told him if he kept deliberately peeing his pats he'd have to stop being a "big boy in underpants" and would have to start being a "baby in diapers" again. Well, he SCREAMED that he wanted to be a baby in diapers, fought wearing underpants like the devil, and that set us back a few days (I changed my "threat" to mean he'd be in diapers over his underpants for naps and nighttime again, not all day. Note to self: don't say it if you don't mean it!)
My one other suggestion would be to put the diapers on over their underpants for naps and nighttime... we did this, and I felt it a) helped them understand when they were wet and b) kept the underpants in the forefront of how we do things.
Good luck!

 

The one thing I would NOT do is go back and forth and give her a diaper when she requests it, but underwear the rest of the time. That's just confusing for everyone. It sounds like she is physiologically ready, but being stubborn. As long as it's only 30% resisting and 70% cooperating, I'd probably stick with underwear. But if it's a struggle every time you try to get her to go, and/or if she starts having accidents, I'd say she's not emotionally ready.

FWIW (just so you know how to calibrate my advice), I was also a "wait till they're really and truly ready" person, and my kids didn't give up their diapers until around age 3. But when they did, it was because they were sure they wanted to. I was pretty sure Sarah could stay dry if she chose to, but I waited until the morning that I said "Do you want to try underwear today?" and she said "Yes!"

 

Leighann, you may want to rethink that, because I'm great at giving out advice, but my stab at potty training Karina was a big fat FAIL! :laughing: I'm fairly sure she wasn't ready, though -- I was hoping to have her trained before preschool started, but it was clear after a few days that it wasn't going to happen. So, we went back to diapers altogether, and I'm going to try again over winter break.

Trish, there is a DVD called "Potty Power" that your girls might like -- it talks all about how big kids go to the potty, and there is a catchy song -- "Sing it loud, sing it proud, I'm proud to wear my underwear!"

Nadia really liked it, and watched it for at least a year after she was trained, just for fun. Give it a try -- maybe Piper just needs a bit of potty cheerleading!

 

Ooooh... Becca, thank you for the video suggestion. I may have to try that. The only TV the girls have really ever seen is Little Bear and they love it. They would probably trade me in for Mother Bear. If only I could get a video with Little Bear in underwear, I bet Piper would hop on the bandwagon immediately.

Thanks again everyone for your responses and ideas... keep them coming!

Edited because I was somehow quoting myself, not Becca34. Very odd.

 

Oooohhhhh, I like the video idea! I am going to have to check that out!!