Post-Partum Depression

Hi Gals,
I haven't posted much lately, but I would like to hear some experiences on post-partum depression. My sister gave birth to her baby four months ago and is currently suffering from PPD. I would like to hear what your experiences were, how long it lasted, what helped you over come it, and what others did to assist. I know that there are many causes of it, but she has had an extremely hard time with breastfeeding, and after a personal consultation with Dr. Jack Newman, had to stop breastfeeding. This has been very difficult for her and I would like to know if anyone else suffered PPD after having to stop breastfeeding, and if so, how you felt specifically and how and what I could do to help her.
So far I have set up a small nursery in my home so my sister can visit me and feel comfortable and at home, with bottles, soothers, formula, a rocking chair etc etc. I plan on making myself available to visit her 24/7 if the need be. Any other suggestions would be appreciated.
Thanks in advance,
Lydia

 

Lydia -
You are such a tremendous support to your sister. Below is a link to a sticky in First Year forum on PPD. In that link is information on a password-protected forum dedicated to PPD and anxiety here on Twinstuff. You may want to contact those moderators (listed in the sticky) to see if that would be of help to you as you help your sister. Just click on the link below. :hug:

http://www.twinstuff.com/forum/index.php?/topic/159743-postpartum-depression/

 

Lydia, in addition to what Betsy said...I just want to say what a wonderful support you are to your sister. If she is not doing so yet, I would also suggest if her doctor can recommend a counselor or a therapist for her to talk to as well. Wishing you and her all the best :hug:

 

Ditto on the amazing support for your sister. That is key! So many people don't understand and often the person suffering themselves does not even realize they have it. That was me. I tried breastfeeding but only made it to 6 weeks with my little boy and 8 weeks with my little girl. I don't know if that was tied to it or not but I was a MESS. Stressed, not sleeping, not eating, trying to do everything instead of asking for help and often finding myself absolutely paralyzed. It is the worst feeling. I became physically ill and almost had a break down. It took the literal intervention of my parents and husband to stop the downward slide. I do not know what I would have done without their acceptance, love, and support. But I also had to go on medication. I cannot emphasize enough what a difference this made. I stayed on for about 2 months then weaned myself off. This worked for me but that is not the route for everyone. It broke the cycle and got my hormones settled back down. When your hormones and body chemistry are 'out of whack', nothing will work. Again, this is what worked for me but everyone is different. Providing that love, support, and a safe place for your sister is a great gift!

 

I had post pardum thyroiditis (thyroid out of whack because of all the hormones) and it sent me into PPD due to feeling so crummy all the time. What was so rough for me was I let myself feel awful for too long. I did not feel "depressed" so I did not think about it.....other than to tell myself being that tired was just par for the course for a stay at home mom. The doctor I went to put me on an herbal supplement for the thyroid and wellbutrin for the PPD. Luckily I was only on the meds for about three or four months. I suggest meds. I actually suggest doing just about anything to make PPD better. It is rough.

Good luck to your sister and you are wonderful to give her so much support.

 

I'm struggling with PPD too. I BF'd for 6 months but when I weaned (my decision) my hormones went wacky and I think my depression is linked to my menstrual cycle. I'm on wellbutrin but have a consultation with my OBGYN at the end of the month to see what my options are. I don't know how long her depression will persist, but hopefully once her hormones calm down she'll feel better. It's great that you're being so supportive. I know when I'm having bad days I don't want to ask for help to talk to anyone, so it's nice that you have everything set up for her.

 

I wanted to say what a wonderful sister you are too! I had it after dd2 ... but didn't recognize it until she was a yr (that is the time I stopped nursing so maybe that has something to do w it!) but didn't get help for it for a long time, what an awful way to live I'm starting to recognize the symptoms again and am "thinking" of making an appt, I just really don't want to go back on what I was on b/f. For me, what you've done already would be HUGE!

 

I'll echo what everyone else is saying that you are doing a marvelous thing and you should applaud yourself for being able to help her like this. She may not act like she appreciates it but in time, if she hasn't already, she will.

I have a history of depression in general and was anticipating the arrival of PPD so my docs put me back on the same dosages and medications that I was taking pre-pregnancy the moment I delivered (which was a man contributing factor as to why I never even attempted to breastfeed).

I think that PPD hit me the hardest was around 2 months PP. I got extremely sad, was crying all of the time, totally withdrawn, not wanting to do anything but stay in bed and curl up and cry and I didn't feel like I was bonding with the twins like I should have been, I felt more so that I was "going through the motions". I lost a ton of weight because I wasn't eating so my physical health went downhill also. I would have friends and family come over to help when they could but certain family members just made the situation worse because we didn't mix well to begin with and in my PPD state everything was magnified.

Finally there was an intervention of sorts by my Mom, Dad, best friend and Husband to get me into some kind of treatment. I went and saw my therapist and immediately I saw my psychiatrist and was put on new medication. Those don't work over night and take time so family would make it a priority to make sure I wasn't along for extended periods of time incase I started to spiral out of control. This went on for a week or so.

After a while I found that, along with therapist and medication, that going out to Mommy and Me clubs and organizations really brought on a sense of freedom and happiness for me.

I don't know, I think (and this may just be because I already had previous dealings with MI) if I'll ever not need to take anything for depression or anxiety or the sort but definetly sticking to a program of therapy and meds and just trying to get as involved with my boys as I can.

Wow, sorry this response is so much and I'm not sure that I completely answered your questions or concerns.

The absolute best piece of advice I can give you, and this is from my own experience, is that make you sure you and whoever else helps out with the twins that she is a good mother. When my Mom would play with the boys when I wasn't able to she would say to them "you have the best Mommy in the whole wide world". It was little things like that that helped make me feel less zombish and more like a good doting parent.

She definately not alone and what you are doing is so wonderful. The more support she gets the better. Also the faster medical advice/treatment she has the better too. Wether it's just through therapy or medications and therapy, she def. needs to cover all the basis.

Good luck. Give her a big hug for me and tell her she's not alone!

P.S Sorry for all the typos.

 

This made me cry, what a great piece of advice. Though my mom and I are extremely close I didn't tell her about being on the meds b/f and not sure I will this time either. She always tells me what a great mom I am and tells me what a great dd I am too so to add to this maybe tell her how lucky you are to have her for a sister! These things mean the world to you when you're depressed!

 

Being a Mom is the most thankless job in the entire world and this hits new Mom's HARD and FAST, especially when you are in those beginning stages and aren't seeing the fruits of your labor with milestones or smiles and everything is still like you are just working in a factory. It's easy to fall into the pit of PPD, ESPECIALLY if people around you aren't supporting YOUR mothering ability/style/love for your child(ren). In my opinion at least.

For me it just took some "Honey, those babies love you. Look at them light up when you walk in their presence, look at the way they smile at you, those boys love you and you are the best Mommy to them. No one else could do this job better than you". Those were the words that I tried to keep on repeat when I was really feeling down, just trying to remind myself that I AM the best Mommy for these boys and I DO love them. It didn't always resonate with me and I would still get into hysterics but over time this was one of the main things that pulled me through the really tough spots.

It is embarrassing to admit that you develop PPD or even are suffering "Baby Blues" because the first, non educated, person thinks is "you're not thinking about hurting your child are you?". You just don't want to admit that you aren't bonding or feeling an instant love and connection with this child that grew in you for 9 months (give or take). Although I knew plenty about depression I fought for a long time before I openly admitted to my therapist the words "I have PPD". It's a hard pill to swallow.

The best, best, best things is to surround yourself with as much love and support as you can and have people around you make an honest and daily (if needed) reminder how of great this Mother suffering with PPD to her children.

 

Lydia you are awesome. Please keep a close eye on her. It took a handful of pills before my family realised how bad my depression had become after my first child. I covered up what was happening with me because of my pride. Meds and conselling was what worked for me. Depression can be tough on those who are helping so look after you too. Good luck. I wish I had someone like you when this was happening with me.
On a side note I never got PPD with any of my other kids so don't let this experience cloud her choices in the future.

 

I went through some PPD in the beginning. At least, I think it was PPD. I was just very overwhelmed and stressed. I also had severe anxiety. I only nursed for 6 weeks and when I stopped, I had tremendous guilt on top of everything else. I also had a bunch of health issues which made it even more difficult. The fact that you are putting yourself out there to help, is amazing. I relied heavily on my husband and mother. I think offering her as much help as you can, will take a lot of pressure off of her. Also, try to get her to talk to someone. I went to a therapist when they were 3 months old and it helped so much. I also went on Zoloft. That also made a big difference. Hope she is feeling back to herself soon.

 

Thank you very much for your replies. Your words of encouragement and suggestions have been wonderful. My sister, to her credit, made an appointment with her physician and at this time has chosen to not be medicated but to be closely supervised. She is doing well, and is finding it much easier now that people know and are around her through the day. Thanks again!