Positive Stories for Months 0-3

Sometimes I feel like I'm really negative about months 0-3. I want to snap out of it and get a different attitude before the twins arrive. I think I was a bit traumatized by my daughter who was very high maintenence. She was not only born early, in the NICU but had a surgery and required hospital-like suctioning for four months. But sometimes I don't even think it was her medical stuff that stressed me out. I think it was just those months in general...the whole "infant phase" just wasn't fun or rewarding at all..sleepless nights, constant feedings, little rewards from the babies. Anyway, while I'm excited to meet my babies, I kind of want to jump over the first three months, you know? So PLEASE if you have some positive stories to share, I'd love to read those. I'd love to hear from the people who loved the infant phase and why...etc. I am working on changing my attitude today.

Thanks,
Lanie

 

Well, to be honest, that's pretty much ALL the first three months are...constant feedings and changings, crying, sleepless nights, ect. But, I do promise it'll be different the second time around, especially if you don't have the issues you had with your daughter. You'll also find out how quickly you readjust to having a baby in the house again.

For us, the boys have been great! They were both over 6lbs at birth, no NICU time at all and were great eaters from the get-go. Within a week they were sleeping in five hour stretches at night (during the day it was three hours). They only cry when they're hungry and are generally happy as long as they're together. So, for us it really has been a positive few weeks. It seems like each week gets a little better, especially now that we've got some sort of schedule.

That's really all I can say, since they're only 3 weeks old. But, like I said, it's really been pretty easy so far.

 

I miss the first 3 months in some ways. They were so cuddly then. Now - no way. "Get out of my way, Momma, I need to move!" (if they could speak that well...) Every day is still something new, but not as big of "new". Yes, lots of bottles, crying, and changing diapers, but also first smile, first giggle, finding their hand is their own - I love that stuff! And first time to meet Mommy and fall in love with her and Daddy.

 

Positives in the first 3 months....

Lots of cuddle time. :wub: :wub:

The sweet smell of their little heads. :wub: :wub:

Smiles when they sleep.(could be gas, but cute nonetheless!) :wub: :wub:

Teeny, tiny, toes. :wub: :wub:

Both arms full of sweet babies. :wub: :wub:

It was difficult those first 3 months, but there are some positives along the way! Best of luck with your delivery! Can't wait to welcome you and your babies the the FY forum!

 

The first three months FLEW by! Although it did not seem so at the time. I think the hardest part was lack of sleep, but even that did not stop me from enjoying all the wonderful things that were happening.

the first sigh
the first smile (gas or not)
the times when only being held by mommy worked
the snuggling
the little sounds they make
being so proud of a poopy diaper!
the little arm spasms that make them look like they are directing traffic
since there are two not having to share baby cuddling time with the hubby (he now has his own too)
the awe and amazement that you carried TWO!
GOOD LUCK! and HAVE FUN!!!

:hug99:

 

Yes the first three months are rough, but they are also amazing. Disclaimer: the girls are our only children, so everything was new to DH and me.

During those early days, I felt like we were living in an alternate universe. The world was happening around us, but our world was small and repetitive. Every 3 hours we changed diapers, fed babies, burped babies, swaddled babies, and put them back to sleep! While this was tiring and got a little boring, it was also so cool to see those little faces looking up at you. Those tiny hands holding onto your finger. Their little feet. The way they yawned like big people. All those firsts are just so cool. And I started to enjoy the late night feedings. In the beginning DH and I got up together and we were so punchy after awhile. We would lay in bed with the girls in the middle of the night and laugh about nothing! Gotta love sleep deprivation. Watching the sunrise together while holding our little girls that we dreamed about for so long was just an awesome experience.

Of course its difficult and tiring, but there are some good things too. I've never laughed so hard as the night that DH and I made up a whole story about how Ana is the reincarnation of a little old man named Ralph... You kind of had to be there (and be seriously sleep deprived to get the joke)... Ralph, the Korean war vet who liked to drive his winnebago across the country and visit the VFW! Poor Ralph 'woke up' one day as a tiny baby wearing a pink sleeper with frogs on the feet! Ralph who was seriously p***ed about his new circumstances! Especially the frogs on his feet. (she used to make these old man faces and she would look around like 'where the h*** am I?!')..like I said, you probably had to be there and not slept for like 2 months

GL with the rest of your pregnancy, Leighann

 

I'm only just past the first month and I am loving it. It is so hard, no sleep, crying babies with no real solution...just cries, no showers and sometimes just a toaster waffle at 3:00 in the afternoon is all I can manage to eat but, I have never been happier in my whole life. These two babies are such an amazing gift. Because it's so hard I find myself being extra proud that I am doing it and that I was chosen to do it. I do look forward to some sleep and to the day when I can start a schedule of some sort (or attempt too) but for now, I love this life.

 

QUOTE(Leighann @ Oct 11 2007, 12:15 AM) [snapback]444828[/snapback]
I've never laughed so hard as the night that DH and I made up a whole story about how Ana is the reincarnation of a little old man named Ralph... You kind of had to be there (and be seriously sleep deprived to get the joke)... Ralph, the Korean war vet who liked to drive his winnebago across the country and visit the VFW! Poor Ralph 'woke up' one day as a tiny baby wearing a pink sleeper with frogs on the feet! Ralph who was seriously p***ed about his new circumstances! Especially the frogs on his feet. (she used to make these old man faces and she would look around like 'where the h*** am I?!')..like I said, you probably had to be there and not slept for like 2 months


:rotflmbo: It is amazing what sleep deprevation will do to you. It is hard, but there are so many funnies in the middle of the night that the next morning you will say, "did I really say that?" One of my favorite pictures in my head still is both babies sharing a crib and swaddled together. Sooooo cute and cozy. Good luck.

Rachel

 

QUOTE
Of course its difficult and tiring, but there are some good things too. I've never laughed so hard as the night that DH and I made up a whole story about how Ana is the reincarnation of a little old man named Ralph... You kind of had to be there (and be seriously sleep deprived to get the joke)... Ralph, the Korean war vet who liked to drive his winnebago across the country and visit the VFW! Poor Ralph 'woke up' one day as a tiny baby wearing a pink sleeper with frogs on the feet! Ralph who was seriously p***ed about his new circumstances! Especially the frogs on his feet. (she used to make these old man faces and she would look around like 'where the h*** am I?!')..like I said, you probably had to be there and not slept for like 2 months smile.gif


That is hillarious! :rotflmbo:

 

I had braced myself for an awful first few months, based on horror stories from people that were already parents.. but I was pleasantly surprised. While I didn't get a TON of sleep in that time (the boys were up every three to four hours at night, and they each took quite a while to feed in the early days), the quality of sleep that I DID get was better than the sleep I got in the last couple months of my pregnancy.
Neither of our boys were colicky, so we had fussing but it wasn't anywhere near constant, and it was such a joy to finally meet the two little creatures who I'd had such a hard time visualizing for nine months. They smelled great, they were beautiful, everything was brand new for them and for us.
One thing I did that I think made it easier was that I had NO expectations of having any sort of pre-kid life after they were born. All I did for the first three months (and all I expected of myself) was feed babies, clean babies, clothe babies, and make sure I was eating/drinking/sleeping whenever possible. I made very few plans to do anything other than that- and anything beyond that that I DID do felt like a terrific accomplishment.
It'll be extra fun to share your little ones with your toddler... congratulations on your twin pregnancy and may the first three months be a wonderful adventure for you all!

 

I am just getting past the first 3 months and I have to say that this has been the most amazing time of my life. I have never been happier and yes, it is hard work, but there are countless rewards: their smiles, making it to the end of the day able to say"wow, I kept them alive and somewhat healthy and happy!", the "I don't know how you do it" comments from strangers, and the constant reminder that your body was able to create, grow, birth, and now take care of TWO human beings! I feel like I've been given an opportunity that very few people (percentage wise) ever get to have. I'm not saying that I've been grinning from ear to ear every day (well, I think I have actually ). There are moments where I think what the heck have I gotten myself into. But whenever those moments arise, I immediately look at the pictures in my room from their few days in the NICU. They looked so fragile and helpless and at that time I would have given anything in the world just to know they were going to be okay and be able to care for them at home. When I look at those pictures I realize what a miracle it is to have twins and what a horrible feeling it was to be away from them. Suddenly their crying, refusal to nap, and hourly feeding demands feel like gifts instead of burdens. I pray that your babies won't need that time and you won't be able to refer to a picture like I can, but if you're like a lot of moms of twins, there's probably been some point at which you were nervous about your pregnancy. Once they're here, just think about how grateful you are that you don't have to worry about those things anymore and you can actually hold them and care for them and love them the way you know how.

Another thing that's helped me tremendously is to STAY CALM. I kow it's easier said than done but whenEVER you feel yourself about to get flustered, stop, walk away, take 5 or 10 deep breaths and ask yourself... In the big scheme of things, is this really that serious? Is the world going to end? NO! Believe me, it works for everything! Just try it.

Good luck to you. I'm sure you'll do great!

 

Despite the hard times the past 2 months have been the best. I love to sit and hold my two, when they will let me. My DD doesn't want to snuggle very often. But don't let the babies keep you home all the time. Find some good friends that you can hang out with and bring the babies along. At about 6 weeks I started to visit friends. I figure I can hold crying babies at home and get frusterated or I can hold them at a friends house with some help and someone to talk to and let them hold crying babies. They don't mind so much and have more patience some times.

I loved the first smiles, on the same day. When they first focus on you. When they first want mom and no one else. Both you and DH having someone to snuggle with. Just sitting around with our little family all complete. (It took us forever and 3 rounds of IVF for our little angels.) I love when they first discover toys. I love when their eyes light up when it is time to nurse. I love that babies are so tiny. I can't belive how much time is gone already and will never get back.

Enjoy the time, it is wonderful.

 

Wow, I really needed to hear all these great moments and stories. I know them deep down but it's nice to read. I feel like (which makes sense) this board is a lot of venting and rarely to people send a message about enjoying their first three months. I liked reading all of that. I especially find it helpful now that my C-section date will be Oct 27th (if I don't go beforehand). It's all becoming so real. Tonight was the first night my husband told me he is getting really excited. That was nice since I don't think it's hit him at all...work has been so busy and stressful for him that the twins are just not on his mind lately. But he's excited now that we have a date.

Thanks again...keep any stories coming. I will return to this forum and read these again when I have a bad day after they're born.

Lanie

 

My fraternal twin boys are my first and probably my last and I can say now that they are just turning 3 months is where did the time go.

They are only this little for a VERY short time, enjoy the content sleeping faces, the big cat like stretches, the tiny little fingers and toes, the first time they actually do look at you, and the fact that you carried these TWO babies at once.

Lack of sleep can push you to miss these wonderful milestones but don't let it get the best of you

 

I think alot of the enjoyment of the first 3 months depends on your attitude and a conscious (sp?) decision to enjoy it. My twins were numbers 3 and 4 and I know they would be the last, so I "decided" to eat it up. I've always enjoyed the helpless infant stage, but I knew that having a 3 year old and a 16 month old would make it tough. Anyway, you have some perspective because the twins aren't your first, so you know that the first 3 months can be tough BUT it goes by fast.

Anyway here is what I enjoy...
-Nursing a seeing TWO little babies wrapped around me
-Peeking into the crib and seeing TWO sweet sleeping babies
-Laying down and nursing with the "one" that is fighting sleep (thankfully "the one" is always different, so I get this special time with each of the girls)
-Those first "gummy" smiles
-Feeling like a million buck the first time you get 4 consecutive hours of sleep! (Who would have thought that it could feel like "enough" sleep!)
-Holding both of them and having my arms full of babies!
-Seeing DS and DD kiss them

I promise that your perspective will be so much different than with your first! I hope you can enjoy it this time!

Jen

 

Oh BTW, really the only thing that I haven't enjoyed about having two is having to clip 20 fingernails!

 

My two are almost 10 months old and I must say that the 0-3 month period already seems so long ago. Luckily I keep a blog to update my family and friends back in the U.S. because we live in Europe. Here is what I wrote when the boys were 2.5 months old but had only been home from the NICU for a few weeks:

"We're all very sleepy, but confident that this stage will pass soon enough. Part of me is already feeling like they are going to grow too fast so I'm trying to just enjoy each day and not let the tiredness get to me too much. I've decided that one of the absolute best feelings in the world is after one of the little boys has finished feeding and I hold him up on my shoulder and he nuzzles his head under my chin and starts drifting off to sleep. I can feel his warmth and smell his soft little baby smell. It makes all the sleepless nights totally worth it. And I'm lucky enough to get this from two babies!. I really do feel blessed to have twins and can't imagine just having one little one around here."

Makes me a little sad to look back and know that time is gone.

 

Last time I had PPD so those first months were ****. This time I felt like I was on top of the world! (PPD hit later...bummer!)
Just stop thinking that the time will go by slow. It won't. You will have 3 kids and no time to just sit and think about how bad it gets. The twins were in the NICU for 3 weeks so I got them home when they were already on a schedule. I had help if I needed it but really since I knew more about what I was doing, I only needed help with my 3 year old. The twins were easy compared to him.
Besides, at that age all they really do is sleep and eat, you don't have to entertain them.
Good luck!

 

Reading these posts has made me cry and helped me to take a deep breath and enjoy this precious time with my girls. They are only 3 weeks old and at times I feel so overwhlemed and have no idea what I am doing-but I realize now that I need to soak up this experience before it is gone...thanks for the stories and putting things in perspective for me. I am staring at my beautiful babies right now-they just dozed off in their bouncy seats and I could just eat them up!

 

Honestly, I thought having newborn twins was going to be AWFUL. I was so pleasantly surprised. Both of mine were good weights and healthy, so the rough part was just getting into a routine, dealing with a jealous toddler and of course, lots of feedings during the night. The first month was hard and luckily my parents live down the street and they were able to watch the kids for us if we had a rough night. However it passed quickly and the girls were sleeping longer and longer with each week. I have absolutely loved having twins and I can't even tell you how freaked out I was when I learned we were pg with them! They have been such an amazing gift and I'm so glad we were blessed with them. They are super good babies also so I know we have been blessed over and over. I will say that I think becoming NEW parents is the hardest part, x 2 is probably even harder. I know I was very stressed when I had my oldest child just because becoming a parent changes every aspect of your life. It takes a while getting used to that. I think already having a child before the twins was a huge help for us. I know it gets very tiring, but try try to enjoy this time! The first year goes by so quickly with all the changes a baby goes through. I can't believe my girls are almost 7 months already and it makes me so sad!

 

This is a good topic- thank you for bringing it up. It makes me really think hard about how the girls have affected our lives. I was so nervous about the girls arrival, our first children, we weren't sure what to expect. You read sooo much about the whole first year with twinfants being heck- but for us things have been pretty darn good. The first two weeks were hard, but probably not unlike any other family. They were spent bfing, bottle feeding (ebm) and pumping! After the girls got better at the bfing and we didn't have to supplement things got much easier and feedings got quicker.

The girls have been on a schedule since they were born (partly because we had to wake them up to eat) I've never fed on demand and I think that has made all of our lives easier, including the girls. They started to really sleep longer than 2-3 hrs at a time around 6 weeks. Now I lay them down at 8Pm and they'll sleep until 1am usually, and some nights even as late as 2am. I'll lay them in their crib wide awake and Mia falls asleep on her own and Melanie will fall asleep with her nuk. After the 1am feeding both girls go back down without a peep. We suffered through a lot of weeks of crying to get to this point, but now we are reaping the rewards. We let the girls cry 10 mins if they have just been fed and changed and are laying in bed. They hardly ever cry now at night. Don't get me wrong, we still have a bad night here and there, if someone is up too long during the day, or naps too late in the afternoon that can all get messed up. It's a delicate balance, but I'm pretty strict with our schedule. I had to be since I had to go back to work when they were only 7 weeks old.

All in all things are good. We're sleeping pretty well at our house right now and that will make all the difference in the world. Just figure out what works for you and your babies and stick with it. Be patient and enjoy them while they are small. My babies will be big soon and I know I'll miss the days where both of them could fit in a sling together and I could carry them around the house.

 

QUOTE(Lanie L. @ Oct 11 2007, 03:50 AM) [snapback]445091[/snapback]
Wow, I really needed to hear all these great moments and stories. I know them deep down but it's nice to read. I feel like (which makes sense) this board is a lot of venting and rarely to people send a message about enjoying their first three months. I liked reading all of that.


Thanks for posting this. I am really enjoying reading the stories too. There is a lot of venting on the board, but there is also a lot of venting from parents in general. So this is really nice to hear!