Please! Tell me I'm not alone

I hope that I am not alone in feeling this way but some days....

I feel like I'm going to lose my mind! There have been times I even hide myself away and cry before getting back to business of taking care of them.

It "feels" like every day I listen to my 2 boys (21 months) cry and fuss and ball. From morning until it's time for them to go to bed. I wonder if there will EVER be a day that it will just be peaceful.

They cry and ball when they don't get what they want...when they don't get their way...when it is time to come in from playing outside or when it is time to put the crayons away...you name it...they ball because they don't want to stop. It makes me not want to even START those fun activities because I dread having to quit the activity and listen to the tantrums.

We are very consistant in our discipline so they probably cry more...because we will not give in when the answer is no.

Sorry to vent... :wacko:

 

I remember feeling that way! My DS was pretty much non verbal at that age. I think he was frustrated with his inability to communicate. He's an intense kid, and cried or had a tantrum (it seemed like) all the time. My DD is more mellow, but it was exhausting with two of them.
I started looking for part time work when they turned two. It took me a while to find the right fit. I'm glad I stayed home for almost 3 years, but I'm happy to have a different balance in my life now.
Hang in there!

 

something I found that works (even now that my kids are almost 6) is to give a count down...tell them say 10 minutes out, then 5 minutes out, and while they don't understand the concept of time (which is nice because you can tell them they have 10 minutes, and then 2 minutes later its 5 minutes) but by telling them that the activity is over when mommy counts to 10 may help give them closure...

 

I totally understand! But I will say, as my boys have gotten more verbal, it has gotten WAY easier. They are almost 27 months and speaking in phrases now, and that has really lessened the whining and crying. Of course it still happens and some days are still over the top, but it feels less overwhelming that it did 6 months ago. Hopefully you will find a similar change as time goes on, but in the meantime, hang in there! If you have somewhere safe to leave them, there is nothing wrong with a mommy time out.

 

Ugh. My 19 mo old can be the same way! Do you ever try giving choices? I.e Do you want to go inside now, or in 5 minutes? Do you want to do crayons first or story first? It helps them feel more in control with out you losing the control.

 

:hug: You are not alone! My two are almost 21 months old and we have the same issues. I must admit that I am finding the second year harder than the first. They are not very verbal and I know that this also contributes to the issue of throwing tantrums. We are also very strict and try and be consistent in what we allow and what not. Some days we have very few tantrums and other days we have more. Have you read Love & Logic Magic for Early Childhood by Jim & Charles Fay? It has good ideas about giving choices & warnings, time outs etc. We will survive this too.

 

You've gotten some great advice. I will say that I found 15-19 months very challenging and I think a big part of it was the fact that the kids were not as verbal as they wanted to be. I do agree with the suggestions to keep being consistent and adding a countdown to transitions. I found that to work really well and it still does to this day. I don't have to do it as often as I did when they were just turning 2...but it does help manage their expectations.

 

The second year was harder for me as mine would beat the crap out of eachother every time I turned around. It gets WAY better! :hug:

 

Thank you guys so much for the advice and taking the time out of your busy day to reply! :hug: I feel better after reading these posts...

Definately great advice some of which I have already tried and some that I certainly will try.

At the end of the day....when I'm done feeling sorry for myself and I think about it...I do have to feel sorry for the little ones that can't communicate via talking....that has to be pretty tough and frustrating for them too.

Altho I do realize that each age has its own sets of challenges...I am definately ready to be done with this one that's for sure!!!! :crazy:

 

I only have one toddler right now (and cannot imagine how I'm going to keep my sanity with two!) :blink: but I've found the countdowns to be extremely helpful, as well as offering choices. My daughter can also be passive aggressive at times (ex. walk up half the stairs and then stop and refuse to go further). In those cases, I've also found counting to 3 works as long as I'm consistent about enforcing the consequences as soon as I get to 3.

 

We taught the girls basic sign language to add to their vocabulary. This helped on expressing themselves as they had more ways to do so. Mine also never went thru twin talk either.