Please tell me I am not alone!

Hi,

I have b/g twins that turned just 18 months old, 15 months adjusted. My son is def a mama's boy and requires more attention than my daughter who is very independent. My son has recently started displaying some negative behavior such as banging is head on the floor, in the highchair on even against me when he is frustrated and not getting his way. Things have really been bad this week since my daughter has been sick and requiring more of my attention, once my daughter is in bed he plays with his dad or even by himself and doesn't even need me in the room so it def seems to be a competitive thing.

It is very frustrating because many times I am holding him and he is still throwing a tantrum and I don't know what he wants. I try to ignore the behavior but I'm not sure what to do. He has had a lot of problems with his ears and is getting tubes in a couple of weeks, I'm hoping this will improve his behavior but I think part of it is his personality.

It takes a lot to bring me to tears and today I broke down.

Anyone else going through this or have any advice?

Rebecca

 

my son sounds a lot like yours, mine turned 2 in dec. he will act out it he doesn't get enough attention or what he wants and will bang his head on the floor too. we started doing time outs, which work marginally, but i think ignoring the behavior in the long run is the best route because they are doing it for attention and if they don't get any hopefully he'll stop. good luck, i know how frustrating it can be.

 

:hug99:

16-20 months was the HARDEST period for me.

The boys were absolutely wild, climbing monkeys with far more sense of adventure than grace/skill. Combine that with the fact that they suddenly KNEW what they wanted, but couldn't yet communicate well, and you have two frustrated babies, and a very tired, exhausted mommy.

Crying was a near daily experience for me (especially 16-18months). I was just soooo tired (they were waking up at 5am daily during this time) that I couldn't keep up with them.

at 23 months life is FUN! I'm loving this stage SOOOOOO much more than I was even 3-4 months ago. What a difference.

I think a lot of it has to do with communication improvements and parental consistency. They still get frustrated, they don't always get their way....but they know how to express their wants/needs, and even when i tell them no, I can follow it up with "I'm sorry. I know you want xyz, but....". Of course that doesn't always make for 100% perfect behavior, but they know I understood what they said and know that my answer will be consistent for the big things (hiting, biting, etc.).

Cry when you need to cry....put on a video if you need 20 minutes to decompress and keep your chin up. By the time summer rolls around you'll see some improvements.

 

My son does that quite a bit, too. It can be very traumatic for us moms, but mine seems like he does it when he's extremely frustrated, since he's not really communicating as well as his sister right now. I think it's just his way of letting off some steam.

 

You're not alone. Both of my twins will do that on occasion, one more than the other, and it is very frustrating for all of us. There are times when I can tell it's because she wants something and didn't get it, and sometimes, I have no idea why. Hopefully they all get out of this phase quickly.

 

Honestly, 18 months was a hard time for us with Arwen. I swear she hit her "terrible twos" when she turned 18 months. For us, I think it was just a very frustrating time where she was just really getting the whole communication thing down but still didn't have all the vocab to express herself and so she acted out. It lasted a couple of months and then she seemed to go back to "normal." I have heard many people say that 18-24 months is a lot harder than the twos but we're not quite there yet so we will see. I know it's hard but hang in there and it's totally ok to cry. I know after I have a really good cry, I feel a lot better and more clear in my head. Hopefully like everything else with raising kids, it is a phase that will pass. :love0028:

 

our son is the same way after the afternoon nap. nothing makes him happy. we have found that we just put him on the carpet and let him cry till he wants to come to us. if we try to hold him he just struggles we have found a snack right after nap times helps a lot with the tantrum.

 

Ugh - I have told many people that I do NOT enjoy them right now. I understand it's winter, they don't communicate well and are learning about frustration, but it is definitely a trying time for the "guessing game", KWIM?

I have a bigger problem with DD. She bangs, but she has also started to pull her hair and bite her hand/sleeve. I just try to make sure she's safe and acknowledge her frustration. If it's something that I am able to fix, I do it....but if she wants to watch a movie and I don't think she should, then she just has to get over it.

 

Although I did not experience this myself (yet--I still have a 20 month old), a good friend of mine had a son that banged his head on the floor. It was totally for attention....and what they decided to do really worked. Their doctor said to leave the room when he started banging (provided they knew he wasn't going to harm himself!). So--they would literally RUN out of the room when he started doing it. And he stopped. Not getting any attention for it made him stop.

Hope this helps! Hang in there!

 

yep im there with you..two months ago i was so enjoying them but then they hit 20months and my life turned upside down..dont get me wrong we still have our really fun cute times but oh my god..they have turned into beasts...my boy is def a mums boy as well..hes just stated getting really jelous if my girl wants to sit and have a cuddle, he starts kicking his cute little legs (he stood on her head the other day)..she has just started pulling his hair...shes more happy to play on her own that him...shes a real climber which does my head in as i feel I cant leave her out of my site for more than 5 mins..even thought my house is very child friendly she still finds trouble....i was in tears yesterday as it was all just to much..with there sleeping being really bad as well at the moment as well (just moved them into beds 3 weeks ago)..but in saying that in the last two days i have noticed a slight improvement on there going to bed..(as i say small) but at this point in time i look for anything good lol...
i was just thinking this morning..i really hope its just a faze and maybe after reading all these posts it is...roll on 24 months..maybe..
on the up side.....they still look so cute when they first wake up..even if it is 5am in the morning..which is there new wake up time hmmmm
good luck and remember theres other people that are right there with you..try remembering that in those dark moments..
or get on here i find it always cheers you up.