PLEASE HELP ME!

Hi,

Okay, I'm writing through tears right now so bear with me. For the most part I've been doing really well, managing the workload, nursing exclusively, doing ok on limited sleep etc. etc. Last night...all heck broke loose. I had two appointments yesterday (one with a LC to learn to tandem better - the other a c-section follow-up) so the girls naps were definitely interrupted and their day wasn't the same as usual.

I tandem nursed for the first time all afternoon. At 7:30, I put the girls down after feeding, they both feel asleep and then 20 minutes later they were awake and screaming. I knew they were full, diapers changed, safe in their cribs and it is my strong suspicion that they were just over tired. I wanted to let them CIO but I don't know if I'm ready to commit to that so I only let them cry for 5 minutes. They did not sleep again until 2 a.m.!!! They wanted to eat every hour, I tried to hold them off to every 1.5 hours so my breasts could recover - they ate what seemed like constantly, probably too much as they both puked twice from crying and frantic eating. We walked them, put them in their swing etc. etc. nothing worked. When they did sleep they were sort of 1/2 asleep and fitful.

I don't know what to do... my gut says they were/are crazy tired and needed to sleep but I didn't know how to get them to sleep. So, we are all spent, in tears etc.

Is this just a bad night? What do I do about CIO? They are 2 weeks adjusted but 6 weeks old. I just don't know what the right answer is.

Any ideas?

 

I am so sorry you had such a tough night. I am sure you are right that they were overtired and just trying to soothe themselves on the breast. Hopefully today and tonight will be better for you all. Maybe you could try and bottle of EBM so that you and your breasts could get a break next time they want to do the marathon nursing?? I do think they are a bit young for CIO. Most dont try until around 6 months or so adjusted age.

 

I've read many times that 6 weeks of the peak of newborn fussiness, and that was certainly the case for us. I hope tonight is better.

 

:hug99: Sorry you had such a rough one!! I also think it's being over tired - probably a little over stimulated with being disrupted etc. they were / are probably releasing some steam from that as well. Congradulations on the successful breast feeding!! They will probably sleep better this evening / today. When they do - try to get some sleep yourself!!! I know this seems easier said than done.... been there. The next 2 1/2 mos. will be unpredictable for you - so get the sleep while the getting is good!! Babies suffer from overstimulation at every age - mine STILL sleep / nap badly on Mondays because they go with their Dad on Sundays and get out of wack etc. I agree with above post as well as far as the babes being a little young for CIO. maybe not rush right in when they make noise etc., see if they'll go back to sleep on their own. sorry not too much help!!! just wanted to send you a hug and say hang in there!!!

 

Oh sweetie :hug99: I really remember feeling that way. I remember getting so upset every Saturday and Sunday when we would get back from being at DH's parents ALL day. His mom is really sick so he wants them there the whole weekend. They would be terribly overtired and scream and scream and scream. My boys were extremely sensitive to over stimulation and it was always me that had to pay for it. This is about the hardest time (6-8 weeks). I started using the swings a lot to soothe and just held and rocked them to sleep as much as I could and when things got really bad I would just walk outside for a couple minutes. It usually took mine a day or so to get back on track. Hang in there it won't be this way for long.

 

Or have your husband give them a bottle of formula and get out of the house and go for a walk in the fresh air. You deserve it!!!

 

:hug99: Sorry sweetie that you are feeling overwhelmed. You are doing a wonderful job. The babes were probably exhausted/overtired and couldn't calm themselves down to sleep, and using you are their soother. I'm sorry that you are crying. First off, :bow2: for breast feeding TWO babies! That's great. Have you the swing? Bouncy seat? I'm sorry I don't have better suggestions. I do believe they are too young for CIO, they will probably just get more frustrated with that right now. If all else fails, but them in their crib and step out for a minute just to get some air...maybe the mobile will keep them occupied for a few minutes...or the tv? :hug99:

 

Just wanted to add my hugs. No one is exempt from this with multiples! Even if your babies are the most easiest babies in all the world, you're going to go through what you're going through at least twice. The good news is, anyone whose baby is past the 4 month mark (give or take a month) is here to tell you that it gets so much better. Granted, not more simple, just more sane.

I remember telling myself at the point you're at, "hang in there, hang in there, hang in there." So now I'll say it to you....HANG IN THERE! You are doing fantastic. And another :bow2: to you from me as well for breastfeeding both.

 

Thanks so much to everyone. I'm so thankful to have found this site. I cried most the morning again but I think I'm regrouping, rolling my sleeves up and getting it together...I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. :wacko:

 

[Yes you can do it!!!!! hang in there :good: I do remember those days, my girls are now almost 9 months, It is soooooooooo hard the first few weeks but it does get easier I would have said yeah right if someone said that to me back then,I couldn't breastfeed as I was on meds for high blood pressure and I also ended up back in hospital after my c-section got badly infected I did have surgery to drain that so I had it pretty rough the first few weeks...I dreaded every evening when it was time to go to bed and my dh was travelling some days too and getting home late so I had to deal with the two girls ...But you know what I would do it all over again.....Good luck I hope tonight is a better night....

 

First of all, you are doing an amazing job. BFing TWO babies is a herculean effort, so - give yourself huge props.

I agree w/previous posters; both in terms of the fussiness, the overstimulation and the fact that it will, REALLY, IT WILL get better. The first months are really just a blur; you're in survival mode. And BFing also takes it out of you physically; it's REALLY important to make sure that you eat and drink enough, because that will help combat the incredible, intense exhaustion. I swear, I lived on Ensure and Power Bar Harvest Nut bars for months. Really - i just had a bunch of them in the nursery next to the pump (I nursed and pumped for my non-latcher, so - kudos for the successful tandem!).

And yes, get out, even for a half hour walk in the fresh air. It will give you renewed energy and frsh perspective. Having people suck on your breasts all day is debilitating, evne though it's also wonderful.

You're doing GREAT - you have enough in you to write to us!

 

oh, and - yes, they are way too young for CIO; basically, they are in what Karp refers to as the 'fourth trimester' - think, they are used to being inside a dark, warm place where they hear their mama's heartbeat and her blood swooshing through veins all day long - and now they are out here, alone. it takes them time to adjust (if you haven't read/seen the dvd of The Happiest Baby on the Block, run out and get it. My local bf center rents it for two bucks a day.

and - use whatever devics you need for now; swings, bouncies, whatever soothes them. That is what they need: your love, your milk, your voice, your body near them. (and their dad any anoen else too!)

I promise, some day you'll be looking back at this, barely remembering it...and there will be TWO smiling faces greeting you in the morning with a grin that is just for Mama!

 

This is a horrendously difficult time in their life and yours. They need you, they are probably having a growth spurt, and they want to nurse nurse nurse nurse nurse. It can be brutal. They are far too young to CIO, honestly, even for 5 minutes. It will accomplish absolutely nothing positive - they cannot "learn" to sleep that way at this young age. The best thing you can do is lean on your husband, friends, parents - anyone who is available to help with other things around the house, and focus on nursing, feeding yourself, and getting some sleep when the babies sleep. Everything else just needs to either fall by the wayside or get passed on to someone else.

You WILL make it through this! And it will all be a blur after you do. Hang in there!

 

:love0028: :love0028:
They ar etoo young for CIO. It is not recommended before 6 months old and personally I tend to wait until closer to 9 months.

I hope it is just one of those nights. I often found that Those nights" tend to last 3-4 days then get better just when you think you can't take it anymore. Just keep trying what you are trying. Rocking vibrating rocker, swing, bouncing, nursing, diapers, and anything else you can think of. IT will get better. Hang in there. :hug99:

 

I hope things are going better. I just wanted to add that the only thing that soothed my girls was bouncing on an exercise ball. I could walk and bounce them in my arms and it never worked as well as the ball.

Good luck - I hope tonight goes better!