Please help me!

Hey Everyone!

I need your help! Let me start by saying that I have been blessed with happy, smiley, wonderful babies for the past year. No making strange, no separation anxiety...just two content and easy-going little girls. Also I should say that they also do not have any words yet, just "uh-oh" , and do not sign to me, although I've been signing to them for months now.
Well, rewind to the beginning of this week, when it seems like they just woke up on Tuesday with new personalities! All they do now is cry, whine, and seem to throw temper tantrums! They're only 13 months! They scream whenever I leave the room, and I basically have not been able to leave their side. Kate has been worse than Izzy, but they are both definitely NOT themselves. Sometimes Kate even cries on me when she's nursing. They've also started screaming at bedtime and sometimes at naptimes...I don't know whats going on!! I mean, yes, they're teething, but they've been teething for the past month with no real problems. Nothing else has changed except that my sister and her 10month old daughter are visiting. Are they really having temper tantrums already?!? And so suddenly?? What should I do about them? Should I be ignoring them already at this age? Or do they need to be cuddled? Is this what they're going to be like from now on???

Sorry, this post is kind of all over the place. I just don't know what to do. Last night after they were finally in bed I sat down on the couch and cried...in front of my poor sister (who probably wishes her visit was over already!)...how embarrassing! I just can't believe these might be my girls now.

Any suggestions, advice, or support would be really appreciated!!

Melissa

 

could it be ear infections? it's definitely normal for tantrums to start already, but the suddenness of it seems unusual to me. also, the fact that they're more upset at sleep times (which is when ear infections can be more painful from lying down) and sometimes at nursing (also can be more painful from the sucking).

all that being said, it could just be the extra people in the house, being fed up with teething, anything at all really. but honestly, i would probably take them in to rule out anything health related.

 

Ours are about the same age and are having the same personality change. I'm hoping its just a rough patch. Their little brains are growing but they still can't communicate very good. I'm pretty confident this is going to get better. I'll hang in there if you will. lol

 

I agree with both Rachel and Leslie, I would definitely have ear infections ruled out. I do know that it seemed like mine hit 12-13 months, the sweet, happy babies I knew were no more...they threw tantrums and whined and fussed and my DH and I were clueless as to what to do about it. I did discover that the tantrums (at least in my house) seemed to be caused by their frustration not to be to communicate how they want to. Hang in there, it does get better :hug:

 

Some people say if you have happy babies they'll be horrible toddlers and vice versa... But I don't really know, probably just an old wives tale!:unknw: Mine were AWEFUL babies and they're a little better as toddlers but still fussy, whiny, temper tantrums, etc. but most of it they do when they don't feel well (teething, viruses, etc.) so I agree w/PP to rule out any medical problems or maybe they are about to come down with a cold. GL it can be VERY frustrating! :headbang:

 

I too wondered what happened when my girls were around 14 months. They became super clingy...very leach-like :headbang: and super fussy! I even took one of the girls to the MD to have her ears checked but they were fine. I decided that my girls were just going through a "stage" and it seems to be letting up now.

I agree with PP...get the ears checked and if they aren't the culprit, my advice is to spend as much time sitting in the floor playing/holding them as you can. That seemed to make mine feel better and eventually they would get up and play independently without tears/fit throwing! :hug:

 

I also agree with getting their ears checked first. Ear infections usually flare up when they lay down. Anytime mine seem to go through a personality change, with more fussing, whining, clinging, crying...I take them to the ped. The last 3 times my ds has had dual ear infections.

Other than that....12-13 months is a huge developmental milestone. They start to realize they are no longer a "part" of mommy, that they are independent little beings, and for some kids that's a very scary realization. They realize you could leave them, at any moment, and not come back. I would let mine cling to me when they needed to, cuddle when they wanted, but tried to encourage them to get back to playing after a few mins. I also played a lot of peekaboo, and left the room while they were watching me, always being sure to come back quickly so they knew I would come back.

And yes, the temper tantrums are normal. My ds now goes like a limp noodle when you try to pick him up and he doesn't want to go that way, and will throw himself down on the floor and screech like banshee! :lol: The joys of toddlerhood!

 

You can add mine to the list of babies who went bananas when they turned 12 months. They were smiley and happy little dudes all the time and then after their first birthday they turned into monsters! It definitely got worse the last little while as their molars are trying to make an appearance, but I think it also just has to do with them not being able to communicate, knowing what they want and asserting their independence. It's LOUD at our house.

 

90% of the time that I've had a major problem with tantrums and sleep issues it's been ear infections.

I read on here where one mom said she had "time-ins" when her babies got clingy, and it really hit home with me. I give mine "time-ins" and cuddle them, stroke them, cradle them, make them "nests" on the sofa and lay with them, etc. when they get like that and it really helps. I tell them I want to hold them like I did when they came home from the hospital and tell them all about their birth, home-coming, etc. and they seem to really calm down.

When I get frazzeld by their demands, I remind myself that come 12-13 years old, they'll probably push away from me and I'll miss the clingy phase and I try to enjoy the neediness.

 

Thank you everyone, for all your great replies! You all had wonderful suggestions and insight, and made me feel like I wasn't alone in this! I am happy to report my girls are back to "normal" for now! I did take the suggestion to get their ears checked, we went in on Friday afternoon, and got the all clear. So I'm not really sure what it was all about, whether teething, overtired, frustruation, etc. but Thank God it is over for now!!
I do think they are frustruated with their lack of communication, and wish they would start signing back to me... I also agree that they are realizing they are independent and that Mommy could potentially leave and not come back. I'm sure we'll be having many weeks like this past one in the near future, and I love the idea of doing "time-ins", that is how I am going to think of it from now on.

Thank you all again! What would I do without you all!?! It is so nice to know I'm not alone and that all the things we go through, other people go through too!!

 

I didn't read all the replies b/c my boys do the same thing, I was worried about ear infections (so DO get it checked if you're worried) but then I realized every time they do this they ARE teething and I don't mean the constant teething thing but I mean the teeth actually breaking through the gums. It was a rough week w Tanner and today I saw that little hole in his gums and knew that's all it was!