Please help me with my 2.5y/o!

Hitting, pinching, yelling, scratching, defiant and just plain all around AWFUL. My DH and I are at our witts end. Time outs and ignoring are not working, neither is being sent to his room. Not sure what to do and I am starting the day in tears already.

Please help... :unsure:

 

Hello there. My girls are 3.5 and one of them does not respond to timeouts at all - she will gladly put herself in timeout and it has almost no meaning to her. I recently started a "chart" where I put a "bad mark" (just an x, but you could use stickers too) on each day (sometimes several bad marks per day) when either of them did bad behavior. Then, any time they wanted something fun (dessert, watch tv or movie, playground, going to library, you get the point) I made a big display of consulting the chart to see if anybody had any bad marks. Bad marks means no treat. For tv or movies, the "bad" child has to sit in her room. I actually made one girl stay home w/ Dad while I took the other to the library recently.

Let me tell you, the progress toward good behavior was almost instantaneous after the first bad mark consequence was dealt out. For us, the realization that bad behavior at any time can result in fun taken away later had a big effect.

 

I too know exactly how you feel. This stage is horrible and my DS Evan is very defiant and head strong (just like his mom, my mother tells me). Our timeouts were not working either and this last week I started doing something I swear I would never do to my children but it has worked some. I have been making them stand with their noses in the corner during time outs. This has helped DS Evan especially because it takes him totally out of the social situation since he can't see what is going on. Today both boys had a timeout and I put them in seperate corners with their hands behind their back and for once it was peaceful in my house. I used the two minute rule and they did fine and told me they were sorry after timeout...so hopefully this will work because nothing else has been.

 

Terrible twos my big toe - it should be the terrible threes - at least at our house. Third birthday and someone stole my sweet girl and replaced her with a hellion. We just started taking whatever she liked away. First, told her what would happen if she didn't stop hitting or whatever, and then did it. We had to change what the consequence was every few weeks, but as long as we could stay sort of ahead of her, it worked out. Now she sits and tells everyone (except me) please and thank you.

 

Oh wow someone else does nose to the corner for timeouts too :icon_biggrin: It has worked great with dd and once the boys are old enough they will do it too. right now its a timeout in their crib and they HATE it so that works great. but i am worried it will lead to sleep problems but none so far! I agree with positive reinforcement when good behavior happens and does not get ice cream etc when bad.

HTH

 

QUOTE(Chris S. @ Jul 27 2007, 12:46 AM) [snapback]345506[/snapback]
Our timeouts were not working either and this last week I started doing something I swear I would never do to my children but it has worked some. I have been making them stand with their noses in the corner during time outs.


My DS had a very hard year since he turned 3 - he turns 4 tomorrow. I think some of it was the babies being born two weeks before his birthday last year and some of it was his age. Anyway, I feel your pain. I have at times wondered if there is something really wrong with him b/c of his behavior. But SLOOOWLYYY he is getting better. I too have started the nose in the corner b/c it is hard to moniter the timeouts in his room since there are toys to play with and I can't leave the door to his room open b/c of the babies. So, just be consistent with the punishment whatever you choose and always after the punishment, hug him, tell him you love him and move on. Don't stay mad at him and try not to show any anger when he acts out. I know it is hard....I fall off the wagon sometimes with this but I do think it is very important. I also try to compliment his good behavior a lot. I go overboard when he is acting nice - even doing just normal stuff like sitting in his chair and eating or acting nice in the car. I think that has helped.

Good luck and hang in there! It gets better. Oh, and I don't think there is anything wrong with him anymore....just a strong willed little boy that want his mother's attention!