Playgroup question

DH and I both take the girls to a weekly "Toddle Time" at the rec center. It's open for all kiddos under 3, has a big room filled with balls and jumping things and hoola hoops and tumbling pads etc. This is the ONLY playgroup type thing I've ever participated in and we've only been going for a month or so. It's open play from 10 am - 11:30am. I have a few questions about these types of things.

There about 25 or 30 kids plus their parents in the room. I'd say about half the parents sit in a circle and gossip while their little ones run amok. I'm sure they're just looking for adult interaction, but as a mom chasing two I can't imagine FINALLY getting the girls somewhere to play and then not participating too. What's funny is that DH says its like a high school cheerleader reunion since he went to school with so many of those parents and they're all in the "circle group". Do most playgroups have this clique of parents?

Now, the one that kinda annoys me... This is open play between breakfast and naptime for most kids in this age group. We go with the full intention of using the entire time to run run run with the girls and let them get their wiggles out. All of the circle group and a few of the other parents will break out snacks and sippies for their kids about half way through. There is no "snack time", like I said, its open play. We choose to leave our snacks in the car knowing that we didn't have enough to share with everyone. My girls are not hungry when we go, but if they see someone else eating, they want some. So, they are begging other kids (and parents) for food. I makes me uncomfortable when they're begging, when they're watching other kids eat something they don't get any of, or even worse, when someone offers them a bite of something I would not want them to eat (like whole grapes). Mine aren't the only kids who hover around the food, but its not necessary IMO. We've considered just "joining them" and brining our snacks in too, but I just can't bring myself to do it because I was always taught that its rude to eat in front of other people (especially little kids) if you don't have enough for everyone. Am I just the over-reacting, black sheep here or what?

These are the reasons why I've never joined one of these things. I just want to go and let my girls play. All the competitive parenting, gossip and cliquish stuff is nauseating to me.

 

Yes, there are cliques everywhere, unfortunately! :angry:

As far as snacks, do what you think is right. But, if your kids are seeing everyone with snacks and going around asking, then I would bring some for them. Maybe bring something not too $$ so in case other kids ask you?

 

We've only been to one of these playgroups so far, but I had similar questions about ours!! At least the snack is provided for everyone here, but it's goldfish and my guys can't eat them...when those came out they did the hover-and-swipe move until I gave them something else. I agree that it makes sense to bring a big bag of something inexpensive (goldfish really are perfect for this) to give to other kids if they ask.

As for the clique, it really didn't bother me because I was too busy chasing!

 

Our playgroup is with my Twins club and it is pretty small. The kids play and we sometimes sit and chat, sometimes direct the kids play. One of the moms even got crafts for the kids to make for Father's Day. Since we are all moms of twins, it is probably different. We do bring snacks with us, as do the other mothers. The kids don't come and sit necessarily for a snack, but they will come over, have a couple of crackers and then go back to play.

That group you are with is HUGE!

 

QUOTE(mac+evie @ Jul 24 2008, 04:57 AM) [snapback]893040[/snapback]
I was always taught that its rude to eat in front of other people (especially little kids) if you don't have enough for everyone.



Laura, I was taught the same thing. I can understand a sippie, b/c I'm sure they get thirsty, but food in a play area?? I wouldn't bring any either, however, I would rather bring my own snacks that I approve of, even though I normally wouldn't do it then try to constantly keep them from wanting someone else's. My girls just wouldn't understand why they can't have any and would be really upset. Sure, I would want to teach them manners, but I think that I would rather them enjoy themselves at the playgroup (since it's only once a week). If it was an everyday thing, I would be alot different, but giving in on this issue once a week is not teaching them anything contradictory of the manners you want them to learn. You're just being flexible (which is an excellent trait to have).

I also would hate to sit in a circle and gossip so I totally understand your feelings there.

 

I've been to playgroups similar to yours at our local libraries. One of the libraries I go to, I have never come across that situation. I have seen sippy cups (which I don't even like because then you have kids leaving them everywhere and someone else picking it up and drinking). The other library I go to does not allow snacks or eating in the room. I can understand having a drink for your child but can they not play for 1.5 hours without eating? I say they should give them snacks before or after. Knowing me I would probably say something overly loud to my kids like "No, no. kids. We are not here to eat, we are here to play. Let's not waste the time we have to play." or maybe something like "No kids. we don't need to eat. We ate our snack before we came so we could spend our time playing." I agree that cliques are pretty much where ever you go. But I am so not one to give into them. I don't like them and that is not my personality.

 

Not eating in front of other people if you don't have enough or everyone doesn't really apply here IMO. Bring your snacks and if one or two others look like they want a goldfish, give them a couple with their parents permission. They are toddlers! They go through growth spurts. It might just take a couple of crackers to get them back on track!

Good luck! :hug99:

 

I think I tend to agree with double. Why can't the kids play for 1.5 without a snack and drink? My friend has twins and she's always offering them crackers, cookies and drinks. That's her choice, but my kids don't get a snack unless they are in their highchair or stroller because I don't want them moving around with food in their mouths. I think it's a choking hazard. We go to Gymboree and food and sippies aren't allowed in the play area.

I would continue to leave the snacks in the car and try to re-direct the kids back to playing - they would get to play on anything they wanted without waiting if everyone else is busy with their snacks!!

There are singleton moms at Gymboree that cling together and gossip. I tend to ignore them and just concentrate on my girls and what they are doing. Sometimes I feel a little left out because I could use a little adult conversation during the day too, but most of the time I just do my own thing with the kids.

Edited to say that there are times that I got involved in a conversation with another mom at Gymboree and I wish that I hadn't. Some people are a little wack-a-do and like to overshare about their lives to complete strangers *shudder* and I've got enough craziness in my life as it is!

 

I personally bring snacks everywhere we go, because when they are being crabby or get upset, I feed them and it calms them down. I have no problem when another kiddo wants something we have, as long as the mom is OK with it. And anytime you're in a group that large, kids are going to take each others snacks and sippies, and I think that's just a part of going to a playgroup, you just deal with it.

I totally understand your point, but I think you need to do whats right for you and let them do what they want Everyone has their own agenda, KWIM?

It sounds like a lot of fun though, I wish we had something like that here, although not sure mine would do so great in a group that large.