Playdates or mom's groups with singleton moms

I feel like I am going crazy, I go to playdates or to a local mom's group once/wk and every house I go to, I would not consider it to be "toddler-proof" even though a toddler lives in that house, the parents don't seem to need to toddler-proof their house like i do. Is this because they only have one child? I mean, I go to their houses and they have pictures frames on coffee tables, statues on bookshelves, plants, water-coolers, and sometimes even no stair gates. I am so tired of taking my kids to these houses and literally running around the entire time to try and make sure my two don't destroy a plant, or break a picture frame! Every other mom that goes to these only has 1 child with them (or only one toddler), so I am the only one with 2 toddlers and it is just getting to the point where it is almost too exhausting for me to even go these anymore.

I set up my house so that it is truly toddler-proof (IMHO), and it seems like most other homes I visit aren't even close! And, I don't feel comfortable asking the other moms to change their house to suit my toddlers just for a 2 hour moms group, and it seems that it doesn't bother any of the other moms (of course they only have one child to keep an eye on).

Do you go to these types of things? do you have the same challenges?

 

That's so frustrating because you can't enjoy yourself and chat with other moms if the entire time is spent chasing after your babies! I would think a home is childproofed well, it's going to be safe for one, two...toddlers, etc.. From your description, it sounds like these homes aren't childproofed at all! It's easier for a singleton parent to grab their child if they are getting into mischief but as a parent of twins, it can be a challenge. I've been on twinkie playdates experiencing this...the parents (of twins) haven't childproofed enough; likewise I've been to the homes of singleton parents and they've done an excellent job childproofing and I/we can sit back, watch our kiddies play, and chat amongst ourselves. So I think it's got nothing to do with singleton vs. twin parents, it's just how good of a job one does childproofing their home.

 

Not sure it is a singleton thing versus a personal choice thing. I have never removed such items in my home. I have chosen to teach my kids not to touch those things instead of removing them.

I agree it is not appropriate to ask them to remove such things because your children are coming over. Maybe you could have everyone at your house for a while.

 

I agree it is not a singleton vs twins thing. I have never childproofed my home, either. I chose to teach my children not to get into those things just for that reason, because I knew we would be places that weren't childproof. That, and I'm lazy and didn't want to have to go through all that work :lol:

 

I pretty much only hang around with other twin moms!

 

My house is probably not toddler-proofed to everyone's standards, so I don't think its a twin vs singleton thing either.

We are remodeling so we have tools around and until recently a compressor was in our front hall! My girls are always supervised when they have the run of the house, so they've learned not to touch these things ("those are daddy's tools because he is making us a beautiful house!").

When we go to other people's houses, I do have to supervise them because kids are curious. Its exhausting, but at least I know they will take a good nap after a nice playdate!!! Oh and when we have people over to play at our house we stay in either the living room or den which are both adequately kid-proofed.

 

In my experience, only other moms of twins have houses as fully child-proofed as mine. I think it also has to do with the temperment of the toddler too. I could do a lot less toddler-proofing if I didn't have such a high-energy monkey for a son.

 

My house wasnt' child-proofed for my DD and it's not for my twins now. I've taught them how to stay away from certain things and it's worked well for us. I don't think you can expect someone to put things away that you don't want your kids to get into. I would teach your kids what's acceptable.

 

Actually, most of my singleton friends' parents were more childproofed then mine. I think it has more to do with the temperment of the parents then the kids themselves. I have always allowed my kids free reign of the house--and you know what? They rarely go into rooms that I don't want them to. There was no taboo, so it simply wasn't an issue. As for stair gates, we bought one, then returned it 18 months later, still in the box. We just never seemed to need it.

No matter what, when you have twins, you spend most of your time chasing one or the other--one of the reasons life got so much easier around age 3-4--we could be at a party and not have to be on top of the children all the time, and we could finally enjoy ourselves at the party!

 

We're not "air tight" in our toddler proofing - we have plants, we have dishes (plates, bowls, coffee mugs) on a shelf in our kitchen totally within reach, we have plants, etc. We've relocated the things that we either a) didn't want broken or b) felt were too dangerous and everything else is left the same. We only have 1 cabinet in the kitchen "baby proofed" and it is the one with cleaning supplies and plastic bags. All of the others are completely accessible - and they usually remain untouched.

We've tried to teach the kids (all 3) what is off-limits - and even the babies/toddlers have caught on pretty fast.

Now, in someone else's home I can see how this would be trickier b/c everything is new and they want to explore. Wish I had some advice for you - but I only see 2 options: 1) Don't go to the poorly proofed homes or 2) Go and chase your 2 toddlers around.

Good luck!

 

Most of my friends have just one kid and our house is totally toddler proofed. It's even still baby proofed. Everyone likes to have playgroup at my house b/c they don't have to watch their kids as closely. I agree it's a personal choice and I just knew I couldn't watch both and keep things from breaking. We usually spend a month or so with my parents every year and they have stuff out and the boys are fine after they have been told several times not to touch. We have broken a picture frame at a friends house though!

 

QUOTE(isis @ Jun 11 2009, 11:55 AM) [snapback]1350251[/snapback]
I feel like I am going crazy, I go to playdates or to a local mom's group once/wk and every house I go to, I would not consider it to be "toddler-proof" even though a toddler lives in that house, the parents don't seem to need to toddler-proof their house like i do. Is this because they only have one child? I mean, I go to their houses and they have pictures frames on coffee tables, statues on bookshelves, plants, water-coolers, and sometimes even no stair gates. I am so tired of taking my kids to these houses and literally running around the entire time to try and make sure my two don't destroy a plant, or break a picture frame! Every other mom that goes to these only has 1 child with them (or only one toddler), so I am the only one with 2 toddlers and it is just getting to the point where it is almost too exhausting for me to even go these anymore.

I set up my house so that it is truly toddler-proof (IMHO), and it seems like most other homes I visit aren't even close! And, I don't feel comfortable asking the other moms to change their house to suit my toddlers just for a 2 hour moms group, and it seems that it doesn't bother any of the other moms (of course they only have one child to keep an eye on).

Do you go to these types of things? do you have the same challenges?


YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could have written this post!