Picky eaters who need to gain weight

My boys are both picky eaters but of course the one that really needs to gain weight is the pickiest. So far our motto (at the direction of his ped and a nutritionist) is it matters less what he is eating as long as he is eating. Get as many calories in as possible. My concern now is that he really doesn’t want anything with any nutritional value. We are always offering different foods and he protests. He will eat chicken nuggets and fries and many snack foods. He will eat yogurt but other than the dogs end up eating more of his food than he does.
So a couple of questions – for those that are in or have been in a similar predicament do I continue to let him eat junk as long as he eats something? Or are we to a point where I can stand my ground a bit and if he doesn’t eat something remotely healthy than he doesn’t get anything at all – well except of course his bottle but that is later. We don’t want to turn into short order cooks and I am also concerned about what kind of behavior we are instilling in him. Or does all of this take a back seat to getting him to eat?
I plan on calling his ped on this tomorrow but always appreciate your insight.

 

Do you use anything like Carnation Instant Breakfast or pediasure to get in extra calories? My DS was on the smaller side (5th percentile) eventhough he was 6 lb.4 oz. when he was born. When we were seeing a GI specialist (my DS had relux), he had us using pediasure around the 1 yr. mark to help get in some extra calories and then we switched it to Carnation b/c we could buy a can of it. I knew he was getting extra protein, calories and other nutrients. I think that you should continue to offer the foods you want them to eat b/c you may be surprised that after a number of times being offered they eventually will try a bite (usually). I had one Dr. tell us to put butter and extra oil on as much as we could for our DS. What I didn't know was that that can flare up reflux even more. He's probably the pickiest eater and sometimes I will make modifications of our meals for him. For instance, he always flips out if we have spaghetti. I always give it to him, but often put some of the noodles aside with no sauce and that's what he eats. Tonight, he actually at the spaghetti with no complaints. Go figure. It's so hard when you just want them to eat to gain weight, but also want them to be healthy and build good eating habits. I hope it eases up for you soon.

 

Once I again, I agree with MLH. My two at 12 months were on the small side and we added Carantion Instant Breakfast for extra calories and that helped. I would also continue offering the foods you would want them to eat, like maybe you offer veggie, healthy side and a meat that they would eat. Good luck!

 

how do you feed them?.. I was feeding my ds and he refused to eat... then I put the same food in a bowl and gave him a spoon
and now he loves the same food he was rejecting before... He eats some with a spoon, some with his hand, but no more screaming..
I know this is what he wanted because sometimes depending on the food I do try and feed him myself without the tray and
he won't eat as much or gets crancky...

 

I'm kind of in the same boat; my boys have finally just made it onto the "chart" for weight in the last month or so. They're just skinny guys. I really felt like I couldn't "trust" them to eat enough, so I was trying to push food onto them and making very tempting dishes.

I've finally had to take a step back and realize that they won't starve if they don't eat well at one or two meals, and I want them to try and enjoy lots of different foods. I do the same as MLH and Nancy and give Carnation Instant Breakfast in their morning cups of milk, and I do add olive oil, butter, etc. to things I cook for them so they get extra calories.

It's tough because I don't normally eat like that, and I'm really determined not to cook special meals for them; I want them to eat what we eat and have family meals. I'm giving them real butter on their pancakes, and real maple syrup (while I get sugar free), they get full-fat milk, cheese in their eggs, peanut butter on their toast, while I modify mine to make it a little less calorie-dense.

I also offer them stuff I know they will like when I give them something new. Then they can choose to eat the new stuff, but fall back on the old if they don't like it. It's literally taken 20 or more times of offering scrambled eggs and pancakes before my 2 have decided to like them! (I mean, what kid doesn't like pancakes?! :blink: )

Good luck! I know how hard it is when you have skinny kids and you feel like you're obligated to "fatten them up". But you can't force 'em to eat and you do want them to develop good feeding habits.

 

my 2 are on the small size at only 19lbs and 24 lbs its been a struggle for a looong time--we use the carnation breakfeast in the milk-but it has iron like the pedisure so you need to give other liquids too so no constipation 0r prunes/pears-
2. buy the heaviest fat yougurt-greek style is good-add fruit purree or chunks if they eat it-
3 pudding-the box pudding is bit heavier in cals/fat just not the fat free ones-
4. use butter/olive oil when cooking thier foods-
5. avacodo's-tons of good fats and u can disguise it in a chocolate muffin or cake!
6. small mini meals-snacks-make every cal count thru out the day some kids dont want to eat alot in one sitting so keep snacks on a nearby table for them to munch after meals-
7. let them watch tv-i know its a no no in many homes but when my smallest DD wont eat her food i put on thier fav show and spoon it in while they watch i can usually get her to finish the meal this way-If the food is completely rejected with a no way uh uh-i get rid of it and try later on --

 

My boys have always been in the 3rd percentile for weight...even now at almost 3, they just gained up to 28 lbs this week!

My ped always suggested adding in extra "fats" and we still do that a bit now, but I don't worry about it as much now. They are just not "big" boys.

They eat what I fix...or they don't eat. Missing a meal here or there isn't going to do anything. It took me a LONG time to figure that out. I was always so concerned about their weight...like it was a reflection of my parenting or something.

I do still give full fat milk.

They eat cheese, yogurt, pudding I make with full fat milk, etc.

I do use butter or olive oil when cooking for them, and basically, I pay no attention to calories with them and if it's got extra fat, I don't mind as it's a benefit to them.

I figured out that I didn't want to have to make 20 courses for dinner so I took this approach around the 18 month mark. There are times that they don't eat, and I just reoffer at the next meal or they go to bed without dinner (I always allow milk as they don't drink enough to interfere with their food intake as it is). I don't make a big deal of it...I just tell them this is your dinner, lunch, breakfast, whatever. I don't yell, punish, etc...I just leave them be...either they eat or don't.

That's what I do...and my boys haven't shriveled into piles of dust, yet!

 

My dd is the same way. She doesn't even weigh 20 lbs yet! She has seen a GI doc in the past for a milk allergy that has since then resolved. But we use a powder called DuoCal. It's basically adding calories to her milk. It has been a lifesaver for us. She is so hard to keep weight on! I have also been adding Kefir to their milk for an added flavor. They suck it down!! I've heard a lot of success with the Carnation too. There is also that Pediasure you could supplement her with. It's just a matter of finding what she likes. Goodluck!

 

I'm always concerned about doctors advocating unhealthy eating habits in order to gain weight. With all the evidence that eating habits are formed quite early...I just don't get it.

Having said that, our guys have always been skinny. I remember that at 20 months, Jacob was still wearing 12 month pants. He was short and skinny. Considering that DH and I are both average height and weight, we'd expect our guys to be closer to the 50th percentile. Unfortunately, they weren't even close to that.

We tried to stick to healthy versions of favorite foods. But essentially we offered them what we eat and made sure to eat with them. Yes, there were horrific fights when they didn't like what was served. ANd yes, there were nights that I cried along with them. But I tried to concentrate on what/how much they ate over a few days vs the one meal where they refused everything served. But I agree with the PP who took the emotion out of it. Simply present it as the meal and try not to get emotional if they don't eat. IF you make it a non-event, the drama often goes down. I like this approach which several TSers have stressed in the past: It's your job to decide what to serve and when. It's their job to decide how much to eat.

Good luck.

 

Im in the same boat as you DS is in the 10th percentile and DD is not even on the chart(although she is recently making big gains)... here are some of the things that have worked for me to add those extra calories...without giving in to junk food all the time....

add butter to everything....including veggies
add 10% cream (1tbl) to every 200ml HOMO milk, and 1tbl skim milk powder....(per dietician and Pedi. recommendation)
save leftover carbs and protein foods that they don't eat for lunch and give it to them for their snack
let them feed themselves (dd often refuses when I try to feed her but if I give her the bowl and spoon...she at least tries some)
many small meals
give high calorie foods first then their favorites
read labels....for example I switched our yogurt to 8% M.F., i found some cereal bars that had more calories and fat then the ones I was buying, etc...
sometimes I let them eat on the "run" which isn't great habits but it gets the calories in them...eg, they keep playing and I give them a bite of something...
I give them a high calorie snack before bed....pudding, cookie, etc...

My pedi, said that the goal is to get them used to eating more fat & calories at a sitting so they are hungrier at meal times and then you can slowly pull back on the butter etc.. and just give them more food.
good luck.....

 

Thanks ladies! A couple of things I forgot to mention in my first post. My little guy is still on formula for the added calories and nutrients so not sure the carnation instant breakfast work now but will keep that in mind for when he comes off formula. Also when we do prepare foods for him it is will full fat stuff, butter, whole milk, full fat yogurt all that good stuff. Also he did have reflux up until about 14 months so I am not sure if that has had a lasting impact on his overall desire to eat being that it wasn’t very enjoyable for him for so long. Good thought on the feeding himself – we have tried that too – he is starting to get the idea but for the most part it becomes a toy and a distraction and a device to fling food across the kitchen. Whoever had the avocado in chocolate cake idea – please send me a recipe! I talked to DH about sitting down to eat dinner with them more and we are going to start doing that. I guess essentially my issue is more overarching – is it okay to let them go without a meal if they simply refuse when I know they are hungry and could easily eat a cup full of goldfish crackers with no hesitations. Today we lightened up on the snacking and when it came time for lunch he ate much better. The nutritionist had told us to let him snack all day but I think it is getting to be too much or we just need to pull them an hour or so before a meal. Thanks again for all the great ideas!