People Favoring One twin

Does it bug any one else when people favor one twin over the other? It is really starting to bug me.

 

Does it bug any one else when people favor one twin over the other? It is really starting to bug me.

 

my dd is calm and once she knows you will just sit on your lap andhang out. Ds never just hangs out, is always moving. Most people prefer her because of that and I can't blame them for that.

It would bother me too if it was obvious to them.

 

I'm with you, everyone seems to have a favorite, even my older kids I'm constantly reminding them to not ignore one or the other. I can't even figure out why people seem to favor one over the other, they are both sweet, adorable babies...personally my favorite is whichever one I'm holding at the moment!

 

Most people favor my smaller one, which we jokingly call the "runt!"

 

I didn't notice it until my mom pointed it out. We had a conversation that she "favors" Emma. My mom said she always goes for the underdog and in my case it's Emma. She pointed out to me that everyone goes straight for Lauren. Oh my gosh...she's right! Emma likes to just sit back and take in all the action whereas Lauren is causing all the action with her on cue smiles and boisterous personality! It hasn't quite bothered me yet but I do feel a little weird when it happens. It's sort of okay because Emma is definitely momma's girl (and is a spitting image of me to boot) so she is happier with me anyway!

 

My in-laws do this and it bugs me too. Matt looks and acts more like mommy, and Luke looks and acts like daddy. They seem to be more excited to see Luke than Matt; I don't think they realize they are doing it though. Unless they are doing it to irritate me. Luke is more outgoing and personable, Matt is kinda shy and quiet. They're different personalities really contrast my DH and me: DH is outgoing and a people person, I am reserved and tend to scare people away (no not really). For the most part i don't think people know they are doing it.

 

Yep, yep, yep!!! I have a group of people who favor my daughter that was ill....and others favor the one that was healthy. In fact, I noticed a couple months ago I favored the well one...I think because I was afraid to get too close to my ill child as I was afraid she would die. I am lucky, though, as my smaller (sicker) daughter is developing a super personality kinda like telling everyone..."look at me."

 

I see that all the time with my twins. People seem to go to Cooper more b/c he is so outgoing, smiley and into everything. Eli is real laid back and easygoing. I think it has a lot to do with personalities meshing & people preferring one over the other is probably more normal than we realize. With them being twins it just stands out more than if it were just regular siblings b/c we could attribute it to age. Actually now that I think about it I could sit down and list which baby my friends and family prefer themselves. It just depends alot on their own personalities. I do find that Cooper seems to be preferred by more and I find Dh and I trying to compensate that to Eli which isn't really fair to Coop

 

People prefer Sean to James. Sean is small, cuddly, and has pretty eyes with long eyelashes. He also has a really warm smile that is amazing. James always has a happy grin and will coo and talk to you for hours, he loves to hug (he will actually wrap his arms around your neck), he laughs so easily too... but for some reason people prefer Sean. They're both incredible kids, so I don't get it!

 

Yes, and it infuriates me! My in-laws favour my son
because he is the first boy born since DH, so
with a family full of girls, everyone was so excited.
We hate it. My DH tends to play with DD more so she
doesn't feel left out and because he knows she's #2 when
she leaves the house to visit inlaws.

For example, for valentine's day, MIL bought them each a
cute t-shirt but also bought max a fleecy jacket. I didn't say
anything at the time, but it made me really mad. Just because
DD is getting hand-me-downs from her cousins, it doesn't mean she
deserves any less new things. I plan on mentioning it to MIL next time I see her, politely say I would like them to be treated as equals
and they either get the same amount or none at all.

Neither DH or I have a 'favourite' and neither do my parents.
I love my children equally.

 

YUP, same thing here.

Weird thing is friends and family members favor Mitchell bc he was so sick we didn't think we would be bringing him home and he has had so many issues since. PLUS, the kid has the most wonderfully warm personality of any baby I have ever met. And bc of his airway issues he kinda sounds like donald duck which is just so sweet. Plus he only weighs 20lbs so pretty light to carry around!

Strangers always prefer Kenna bc she knows how to work a crowd. The girl has the personality that can become the center of attention and she loves that. She is a very HIGH maintenance toddler so those of us that know her well know that its all a show!

 

My family seems to prefer Jamie because he was the sweeter twin when my boys were born and Danny was the noisemaker and now that Jamie likes to here his voice they can't understand why he isn't this quite baby he was 5 months ago. They are the ones I see doing it though.

 

I think you will find that this will change as they grow into toddlers and big kids. In many cases the kids will take care of it. As infants, I always ended up with Marcus while everyone would take Jon--Jon was easier as a baby, and Marcus demanded more, so I got the more demanding one. As they grew, Marcus would demand more attention of everyone, and now it has pretty much evened out.

 

I'm not sure in our situation that it's really favoritism or that one DD is just much lower maintenance than the other. Family and friends who visit usually tend to feed/hold Lydia more, but I think that's because she is easier. Thus, Emilia gets lots and lots of mommy-time. But, I can forsee that in the future, as a PP stated, that this will even out because I think Lydia will be quiet/calm while Emilia will have the more vibrant personality. They are just two very different babies with different personalities and I love that!

 

It is nice to know that I am not the only one getting frustrated by this. Emily is usually the one who gets the most attention and gets the new clothes. I think a lot has to due with the fact that she is the only and first girl. I just hope people (especially my mom) make sure they give both attention.

 

nice too see im not the only 1. EVERYBODY favors caleb the smaller one. why im not sure. hes a tiny little thing and everyone thinks its so cute, but he is very very needy and spoiled already. caden on the other hand is one of the most easy going babies. eveyone seems to favor caleb so hes gets alot more attention. but i put more time in with caden b/c of that reason. now caden is a mommas boy and i love it.

 

Why do people do this? Sometimes I don't think they realize they're doing it. Everyone seems to favor Jackson over Hannah. I think it’s his personality. He has these big chubby cheeks and he's always smiling. Hannah is more laid back and doesn't require as much attention. It bothers me sometimes but I am also not afraid to tell people that he was a sister too. I also hate it when people dote on the twins and completely ignore my oldest ds.