Parents of 3 or more...Should I be scared?

Now that I am getting so close to delivery I am getting a little nervous about what it wil be like with two 2.5 yos and an infant. I plan to be off of work for 9 weeks. I want to breastfeed as well.

My DD I think will be a big help not sure about DS and how he will take the change.

DH and I have talked about whether or not we would want one more after this or not. I said I would be ok with 4 but now I am starting to wonder...will it be that different with three? I think I am most concerned about the morning and getting everyone ready and bedtime routines for my first two cookies and then this one. What will dinner be like? Where could I put the baby during dinner so we can all eat together?

I also told DH that he was going to have to give up his gym membership for a while until I get the budget figured out since we just got a new car. He told me he was willing to do that but he will be playing basketball 2-3 times a week. He usually leaves right around the start of bedtime routine...will I be able to get three kids to bed by myself? Again...where do I put the baby?

Any experiences or tips would be greatly appreciated!!

TIA!
Lindia

 

For me, it was figuring out, like you, what to do with baby. We adjusted the boys bedtime to push back a bit later, so I could have time to put baby down, while the boys eat their dinner (right across the hall from where i put baby down so I'm close by if they need something). When baby was smaller and didn't really have a bedtime, if she was awake, I just lugged her along where ever we were in the house and usually just put her in the bouncy. If the boys were getting a bath, she came in too...if we were putting on jammies, she came in too. The main issue was to make sure I bf her before I knew anything would be coming up for the boys, i.e., their dinner, their bath time, their bedtime, their lunch, their breakfast, their winddown for nap, etc.

In the mornings, I woke and fed baby first and would lay her back down (when she would cooperate) and then wake the boys, dress them, feed them breakfast, etc so they were situated and ready when she woke up.

Things like that through out the day, and you'll figure out what works for you.

Both of the boys did really well with baby and they weren't even 2 when she came along...they wanted to help with everything (which sometimes wasn't much help) but now nearing 3, they are very good about helping with "baby" and getting things for "baby" or dealing with having to wait while I finish up with "baby."

Take a deep breath...it'll all work out! Good luck and can't wait to see the new little one!

 

I'll try to make this short. LOL! PM me if you have any questions, concerns, etc. My boys were a bit younger-19 months when the baby was born. She is now 6 months old and they have adjusted REALLY well. REALLY well! LOL! I couldn't have been more happy with that! And I too was beyond worried about the boys. I also want four kids-in fact-I secretly wished #3 was twins! However, after she was born and I was home with all three of them alone, I thought differently! LOL! She is a great baby though!

As for dinner/bedtime, etc. DH or I do one or the other. I'll do bedtime, while he takes care of the baby. Or vice versa. If dh isn't home(I'm a SAHM) then I put the baby either in the jumper, bouncer, pnp, crib, etc. Somewhere where she is safe. I run up and put the boys to bed. Sometimes she may even be sleeping, and it makes it a bit easier. You'll find a groove-I promise. And-we aren't all that scheduled here, so maybe that makes a difference, I don't know!

For dinner-we try to eat as a family. Either the baby is being held, she's in a chair, or in some activity center place. Or-if we are REALLY lucky-she's sleeping!

That's all I have time for-my computer battery is going to die. But-what I live by is this. Take it one day at a time! Have NO expectations(helps for me), and things will get easier as time goes on. My boys are an AWESOME help, something I wasn't sure they would be because of their age.

And lastly-remember-this too shall pass!

 

I haven't done this, so I really have no advice, but is it really necessary for DH to play basketball 2-3 times a week at bedtime? Could he at least do it some other time (like after bedtime?) And when do you get your time off 2-3 times a week?

 

My girls were 18 months when their brother arrived. I was off work for 10 weeks. I also breastfed the baby.

Our dinnertime routine when he was younger was that I would generally BF the baby while DH got dinner ready and fed the girls (I'd run around making dinner while the baby slept) Bedtime was sort of the same. DH would put the girls to bed while I nursed the baby. It would be POSSIBLE to put all 3 to bed. You could just nurse the baby while reading books to the twins, then just ask them to give you a hug/kiss, get in their beds, and sit there singing to them (I play a CD of night music as well) We moved the twins to toddler beds at 16 months because I REFUSED to have 3 in cribs! LOL!

As for getting them all ready in the morning - yea it's preferrable to have help, but it's manageable alone. What I did (and still do when I need to) is make an assembly line of sorts. One gets on the changing table, diaper change, clothes, socks and shoes put on and hair (girls) done. Then the next and the next. By the time they get down from the changing table, they are ready to walk out the door if need-be. I've done it before in less than 10 minutes for all 3 kids. Then I can let them play and concentrate on getting ME dressed!! LOL

You will have TIME to adjust. Don't forget, the baby will sleep a lot the first few months. This was critical for me as it really gave me a chance to adjust to 3 kids, routines, etc...

You'd be surprised how much they want to help. At that age they are still very young, they might not reatliate, or get jealous, of their new sibling. My girls didn't show anything but LOVE for their brother, even if sometimes it was to much and they tried to smother him sometimes! LOL Be sure to incorporate them into every aspect of the baby. They can bring diapers, bottles (I bottle fed EBM at least once a day just so they could help) clothes.

I wouldn't really stress it to much. The biggest problem me and DH had with having a 3rd was there was only ONE baby! LOL To this day, at 17 months old (baby) we still trip and fall over each other sometimes trying to take care of him, but it was WAY worse in the beginning. The baby would cry, we'd both go running, but only one of us could get him... Since I was BF, it usually ended up being me. Poor DH, by the time I was done at 14 months, we swapped and he started getting up in the middle of the night, giving bottles, whatever becuase he had felt so left out the entire 1st year.

Good luck! PM me if you need support or have any more questions. We're far from the 'perfect' family, but we manage.

 

Thank you ladies. Sometimes I just need the reassurance from someone other than DH that things will be ok. The twins are 2.5 and it seems like their infanthood was a lifetime ago. I honestly don't know how we got through the first year. I am sure the time will fly with this child too.

As for the basketball at bedtime...that is when they play. When we get our treadmill sometime in February or March I will be leaning on him to only play once a week at that point. I try to let him get out since he is a SAHD and there are some days especially since its been cold when he doesn't leave the house.

Planning to manage,
Lindia

 

You can definitely do it yourself...not that it's not stressful but it can be done. The nights your DH is home he should take one or two so you get some free time. When our little one first arrived home it was not bad at all b/c they sleep so much..once they are more awake it's a little more difficult keeping everyone happy. I would let my guys watch blues clues or word world while I fed Collin. Once he started getting off the bottle they all just ate together. I always thought I wanted 4 or at least a girl but after going through this 3 y o stage I may be done. It's hard to say. The only thing I think of is if we have another we are back to not getting out as much and being on a schedule that limits what we can do..I'm sure there are many people out there that just take the baby everywhere they go but when I was staying at home on maternity leave I felt so trapped in the house either b/c I didn't want to mess up naps or I'd have to try and feed one a bottle and worry about what the other 2 were doing out in public. We don't have family in the area so I didn't have any help. That was hard. But as for the routine at home it's definitely doable but remember to get yourself out and take time for yourself.

 

Sorry -- I made an incorrect assumption that you were a SAHM! :blush: OK, in that case I totally get why DH should get out and play basketball.

:youcandoit:

 

My twins were just 3 months shy of 3 years old when Evan was born. I really never had any issues. Evan slept like a charm and the twins, both of them, not just "little Momma" Audrey. You still don't want to leave them alone in the room with the baby, no matter how long, but I wouldn't trade my experience for anything. Breastfeeding was not an issue. Sometimes having a special toy for them to play with for when you are nursing the baby is good. It all depends on your situation. I never needed to resort to that. I hope the rst of your pregnancy goes well. Enjoy every little baby kick.