Pacifiers - am I being too mean?

First of all, I know we should have dropped the paci a long time ago. But, we didn't. Jack still has one for night time use only, and I am not really sure when I will take it away. My dad's a dentist and swears his bite is not that bad, so I guess that justifies my choices (in my own head). For the longest time (a year?) we had just one paci, and it was a non-issue. Well, one day he lost it, and I opted to replace it. Of course, they come in 2-packs. He saw the 2 others and demanded to have both of them... I gave in, in a moment of weakness. In the meantime, we found the old one. Now, he wants THREE pacis at every sleep (nap & night). I refuse to keep track of THREE pacis. One is hard enough. Am I being totally mean about this? I'm sure he'll never remember it, and I know my personal anguish will be substantial if I let him have three all the time. Just imagine having to travel and keep track of 3 pacifiers!! Help me feel okay about depriving my son something that would essentially be a comfort item. It's not like he can understand that the alternative is NO paci's, and I haven't forced that issue yet. *sigh*

 

No, your not being mean! I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to continue that habit. It's just the typical 2 year old trying to be in control and manipulate the situation. What does he do with 3 of them at once anyways??

Just tell yourself by only allowing him to have one, you are keeping him from becoming a hoarder later on in life. :ibiggrin:

 

The joys of motherhood, right? Where was that book our parents should have written about all the things we DIDN'T think of when it came to having kids?!?! :laughing:

My boys weren't HUGE pacifier kids. They had them for nap/bed until about 14 months or so. If they lost them in the night-that was never an issue. It was more of a comfort thing. Well...once 14 months or so hit-it was like they were OBSESSED with them. There was the one in the car. Then they had THREE in their crib. Each. Yes. I was you. I didn't want to fight it. Some days there might be two, some days there might be three. One in their mouth, and one in each hand. It was almost like it was their security blanket. I was starting to hate the pacifier, because how in the world was I going to take it away?!?!

They were like this until we stopped using them. With having Annabella, and her being a baby, it was easy for them to give them up-and give them to her. We talked about it a few weeks prior, and they would occasionally say that the pacifier was for Annabella and I would say yes-just not today. LOL!

It was wayyyyyy easier giving them up than I thought it was. Does he use them, or does he hold on to them like my kids did? For me, I set a date in my head when to stop it, and that's how it worked-for me. If you are not ready-so be it. Can he leave the pacifiers in the crib? Does he get upset if he loses them? What about giving him a blanket/stuffed animal instead of the pacifiers? A small taggie type blanket?

He'll never remember this-so don't be hard on yourself!

 

If he is anything with his paci's like my girls are with their lovelies I don't blame you at all. I had to limit my girls to only one lovely at bedtime because they were waking me up in the middle of the night to find their lovely that fell in the floor...drove me nuts. I make my girls choose which lovely to take...if they demand more than one, then I tell them "one lovely or no lovelies" Could you do the same with the paci's? Tell him he only picks one or he gets none? It works with my girls, maybe it might work with the paci.

 

I think having only one is totally reasonable. My boys still use them at night too. Not sure when I'll be ready to make that transition :unsure:

 

I don't think you are being mean at all. Lauren has 4 "blankies" and she got into the habit where she had to have all 4. I didn't stop it and now it is impossible to break. GL!

 

I agree with everyone else, nothing mean about saying he can only have one paci at a time.
I wonder if maybe it would be better to 'disappear' the other pacis so you don't have to have this fight every time they go to sleep. Have him pick just one then, once they're in bed and can't see you, take the spare ones and put them somewhere he won't be able to find them (like the top of a high cupboard). Then either just don't metion them (and hope out of sight becomes out of mind) or tell him they got lost. I bet he'll soon go back to being happy with one paci once multiple ones aren't on offer any more.

 

I think I would break the habit now before it goes on too long to the point of no return. ardon:

 

I have to say my boys do not even use paci's anymore, but they love to sleep with them in their hands. The have not used a paci outside of bedtime since they were like a year old, but they have had them in their room. I noticed about 5 months ago, they were no longer waking up with them in their mouths and they never had them in their mouths when I went to check on them in the middle of the night. The totally weaned themselves off of using them, but heaven forbid I take the paci's away. I'm not sure they could sleep without at least 3 paci's in their hands or under their tummy's. Weird, yes but who cares!

Kelly

 

Thanks for all of the reassurance, ladies! I got him down to two, but he's had a rough couple of days with some twin-induced toddler injuries, so I'm being a bit lenient. Maybe tomorrow night I'll try for just one again. Thankfully, we have crib tents, so I don't have to worry about them getting lost in the middle of the night unless they slide under the mattress. He does leave them in his bed when he wakes up (that transition alone was an ordeal that caused several hours of tears), and really only uses them when he's falling asleep or after he's woken up but before he gets out of bed. Once he falls asleep, he doesn't really use it. NOTHING in the world makes him as happy as his paci... I am pretty good about setting necessary boundaries and staying tough through the challenging moments of parenthood, but this?! I just can't mess with it!

 

Just know he won't have them when he is 30 yrs old so it is all a phase. Glad you worked it out. Funny how "mommy guilt" sneaks up on up sometimes and not other things.

Heather

 

Hi Erin.
I am TORMENTED by the paci (puckie).
My girls are 2 Y 3 M and are addicted to them. We finally got them out of the car and the rule is they can only have them upstairs. I tried to make it "cribs only" but they got sick and I gave in.
We tried to "give them to a baby" when they turned two but I was not strong enough to carry it out.
Oh the dreaded puckie, woulda shoulda coulda.

I keep reminding myself that they won't go to college or walk down the isle with a puckie. Or in diapers.

So, in my opinion (back to you) I would let him choose his favorite and that be it. Unless, he knew that he could only have one at a time and the other two had to stay on his dresser, in a drawer, in his bed, but when he went out with it he can have ONE.
We have a basket of them (yes, a basket) on their dresser and they choose one, they will be connected to that one for a few days then want a different one. I do put a couple in their cribs when they're sleeping in the hopes that when they wake up without it they can easily find another and go back to sleep. (wishful thinking).

Good Luck and don't feel bad, we have their best interests at heart and although they don't know that now their therapist will tell them down the road.



Take good care of you.
Leslie