Pacifier -- 2 years 9 months

My DS and DD (2y 9m) are still attached to their pacifiers. They only get them during bedtimes (nap and night). However, my DD wants it all of the time when she needs soothing . . . if she falls, if she's angry, if she gets in trouble, etc. My DS does not ask for it nearly as much; however, when he goes to bed he wants one in his mouth and another one in each hand.

My goal was/is to get rid of the pacis by 3. I think this would be possible for my son; however, my DD would "flip out" at the thought of not having it. I need suggestions on how and when to get rid of it. Please help me.

 

We told the girls that the Easter Bunny was taking their pacifiers to give to babies that need them. In exchange the Easter Bunny was going to leave them big girl bikes and princess helmets. We talked to them about what was going to happen a lot before Easter, starting maybe a month out. I think we could have gone over it a million times because the first night was BAD!!! There were a lot of tears and telling us that they were still babies and didn't want their bikes. They kept asking for them for about 3 days at both nap and bedtime. They are still napping and going to bed like they did before we took the pacifiers so I think we made it. Knock on wood!

 

I can't wait to heat these responses! My girlies are going to be 3 in June. One of them cannot live w/o it. She does give it up when I ask her for it, but the second there is "drama trauma" she needs it. I am terrified of this phase. We made it through switching beds, one of them is PT's, but the paci....i'm scared!
jena

 

I would say that if she is that attached to it, you are keeping it to just sleep times, and it is not causing other problems (with teeth/speech) then just let her keep it until she is ready to stop. It might seem like she will never be ready but trust me, she will be one day. It really is such a small thing, and strange how this worry seems to be unique to pacifiers-you never hear parents saying "My two year old is so attached to her teddy, she won't sleep without it. I have to figure out how to take it away" (although I understand the difference if the paci is causing damage to a childs teeth or imparing their speech). I'm not trying to say that taking the pacifier away is a horrible thing to do, just that I don't think they have to be gone by a certain age and I don't understand why they are demonised more than other comfort items.

If you do decide to take the pacis away at a specific date then it's probably best to discuss it for a while before (I think what you actually do-throw them in the trash together/send them to babies/have the 'paci fariy' take them-doesn't really matter much). You could try talking in general about how big they are getting and how pacis are something babies use, maybe talk about friends/family members who sleep without a paci. It would probably be helpful if you could get them attached to another comfort item-before you begin to talk of getting rid of the pacis if possible-so that once the pacifiers are gone they still have a way of soothing themselves.

The only other thing I've heard of doing is cutting a little off the end of the pacifer each day/week until the child can no longer suck on it properly and so doesn't want it. I've never personally known anyone who did that though, so I can't say how effective it is, although I see the logic.

Good luck, I hope you find something that works for you.

 

Personally I think you should do the opposite of whatever I did since what we did didn't work at all. ds was our only binki baby. He only had it at nap and bed time. We kept in in his bed so if he wanted it, he had to go in his bed to have it.
At 3 y/o his cracked and I took that as an opportunity to get rid of it. he has never slept the same. The transition was terrible and he still has trouble getting to sleep. Now I think if I had a re-do, I should let him go to college with it before I'd take it away.

Good luck!

 

We did it as a big event for their 3rd birthday. Both of my kids were really addicted to their "ba-bas" and I anticipated a nightmare. We told them that they would be getting a lot of "big kid" toys for their birthday but big kids didn't use babas. We told them that we'd give them to baby Michael (a friend's baby that they know) since he was a baby and still used babas. On the night of their 3rd birthday (after their party and their gifts), we made an event of taking the pacifiers away. They seemed to understand the relationship between having a birthday and getting new big kid toys and the fact that babies use pacifiers. When I got the initial tears about giving the pacifiers to baby Michael, I reminded them that we could give their gifts back if they still want to be babies.

They did great!!! I was amazed. They both asked for them once or twice after the fact but they forgot really quickly. I was amazed. I was much more anxious than I should have been.

 

Taking away the plug for dd was better than I could ever have imagined it. She only had it for bed/naps. She used to sleep with one in mouth and one in each hand. One night we took away one of them. Then the plan was to gradually wean her of them, one by one. Well, one day after Evan was born, she was not cooperating for naptime. She was refusing to nap. So, I warned her that if she didn't go to sleep, I would take away her plugs. (What else was I supposed to take away from her, nothing else mattered.) So, she didn't settle. I took them away. She cried for 30 minutes and then fell asleep. That night for the life of me, I could not figure out a good reason to give them back. :unknw: She asked for them... I said no. The next day's nap she asked, I said no and that continued for 2 days. AFter that, she could care less. Good luck. We did cold turkey, but giving it to the Easter bunny, the new baby or stuffing it in a build-a-bear were not things that she would have understood.

QUOTE(twoplustwo @ Apr 21 2009, 02:35 PM) [snapback]1282788[/snapback]
Now I think if I had a re-do, I should let him go to college with it before I'd take it away.
Good luck!

Oh no Alison! :shok:

 

We did a paci fairy. For several nights we left a paci in a pretty bag for the fairy and she left my DD a little prize in its place (which she found in the morning). I won't lie, when the last paci was gone while she seemed brave sleep was not so good. But you just have to get through it. I will definitely get rid of the paci right with the bottle at 12 months if I ever have another child.

 

QUOTE(Babies4Susan @ Apr 21 2009, 07:35 PM) [snapback]1283025[/snapback]
I will definitely get rid of the paci right with the bottle at 12 months if I ever have another child.

Me too!!!

Big hugs to pp's above, I'm right there with you all!! :hug: I am PETRIFIED to take it away. :bad:

 

We did the build a bear technique when Nathan was just over 2 1/2. He was a major binky addict! I actually had read a post by Craig where I think his wife had done this with their boys. We had talked about it for a bit before actually doing. One day we went with his binky's to Build a Bear. Everyone at Build a Bear was great they made a really big deal about him stuffing his binky's in the bear. Which he ended up naming "Binky Bear" They even gave him a free music CD that day. I had visions of waking up at 2 am to find stuffing all over his room and him happily sleeping with Binky in his mouth. But, he never so much as even cried once for it. Binky Bear still sits at the head of his bed

 

We had ours throw them in the trash the friday before easter in order to get easter baskets for thier easter egg hunts. We talked about for weeks prior and they were very excited, they would wake up and ask if they needed to throw them away! They threw them away that friday night and besides asking for it a couple of times they have had NO issues
I credit talking about it alot, having them put them in the trash, giving them a reward and simply reminding them they threw them away when they ask for it.

Goodluck!

 

Santa took ours at that exact age. The kids were fine, in that they never really cried for them or asked for them. But honestly, their sleep habits really did suffer. It was rough for quite awhile--not napping, not falling asleep at bedtime, waking up early in the morning, etc. In retrospect, I probably would not have been in such a rush. BUT, my kids used them a lot (even though I tried to limit them to the car and bedtime). And I felt like their speech was starting to suffer as a result.

 

My dd and ds still have their plugs (we also call paci this). They just turned 4 yrs. They have it at night and nap. The ENT doc says they still have to have them at night because of sleep apnea. It helps hold their tongues down. So they can breath easier. When we get the ok to take the plugs away. I like the bear idea. They love build a bear workshop. We are going to make a binky (plug) bear.

It will be hardest on dd she asked for it a lot more than ds does when she is stressed or has a boo boo.

 

My oldest DD gave her to Santa right after she turned 3 and he left a special present for her in exchange. It really worked well. :good: