Our Greatest Sadness and Joy

I am NormaJean's DH and she asked me to post a little bit of our story on twinstuff since you guys have been the most helpful and caring community throughout our twin pregnancy. We can't count the number of times you all have provided such timely and sage advice of which we are eternally grateful.

Norma underwent an emergency c-section today at 34 weeks and 3 days. Baby B had been unresponsive this morning and being concerned, Norma called the OB and he asked her to come in to take a look. The OB was not able to find a heartbeat for Baby B and asked her to go into L&D since the indications were not good at the time. She had just gotten a checkup this past Monday that showed both of them active and growing per expectations so it was surprising things could go so terrible so quickly. There was a slight abnormality with Baby B's doppler for bloodflow but nothing serious was identified at that time and they asked for her to come back early next week to check again.

Once at the hospital, the two OBs checked again for Baby B's heart rate and couldn't find it. The risk to Baby A was thought to be too great once Baby B expired so they recommended to take them both out immediately. She was able to get an epidural quickly in the OR and didn't have to be put to sleep. Baby A came out first and let out two quick screams to let us know he arrived. He was pink right away and cried more as the nurses took care of him and brought him to the NICU. A few minutes later, they were able to retrieve Baby B, but unfortunately the U/S was right and he looked like he may have passed away sometime last night or early this morning.

The OB pulled the placenta out and the size difference between Baby A's and B's umbilical cord was striking. Baby A's was inserted in the middle and look big and healthy, Baby B's was attached on the side through the membrane and was 1/4 of the size. The only thoughts the doctors have so far is that he may have experienced a blood clot or crimping of the small umbilical and that may have led to his expiration.

The hospital staff was very gracious and let us hold Cristian (Baby B) for a long while and we were able to say goodbye. He looked exactly like his older brother (they were MoDi twins) with lots of hair and the same pouty lips and furled brow. The difficulty of the experience was only countered by the knowledge that we have a wonderful little boy that we have been fortunate enough to be blessed with that will need our help and strength to make it through the next few days and weeks.

Mateo (Baby A) was born 4lbs 15ounces and 18.5 inches long. He's on 40% oxygen by CPAK (sp?) to help his breathing but the nurses say he's doing fine so far with temperature and bloodwork. He may be in the NICU for a few weeks till full term but we'll know more tomorrow and as the days progresses. We are excited and thankful he's doing ok.

Thank you for letting me share some of our story with you - our hope is that through our experience, it may be of some help to any of you as you progress through the blessings of your children's births. I can't say enough about this community. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Joe & Norma
Pictures and more of our story will be posted on our blog

 

Joe, thank you so much for the update. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of Cristian. :sorry: :hug: I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Please give Norma our best. :hug: Congrats on the birth of Mateo. I hope his NICU stay is short and uneventful, please visit our NICU forum for any support you need during his stay. He is adorable.

 

:hug: I am so sorry for your loss :hug: I hope Mateo NICU stay is short and uneventful! My thoughts are with your family.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss, what a bitter sweet time. Here's to a short, uneventful stay for Mateo...his weight is great and he should be out of there before you know it!

 

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby boy, Cristian. :hug: I hope that Mateo's NICU stay is short and he is home with you soon. :hug:

 

Congratulations on a healthy baby boy!! I hope Mateo's stay is short. I'm so sorry for the loss of his brother, Cristian :hug:. I'm so glad TS has been helpful to you and Norma :hug:.

 

OMGosh. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious baby boy. There are no words.

I hope that Matteo's NICU stay is short and spending time with him helps you and your wife heal from this tradegy. :hug:

 

God bless your family in your time of greif....and I pray Mateo gets to come home soon.

 

I am so sorry for your loss. I am hoping Mateo comes home soon. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

 

:welcome: Mateo!! I'm so sorry for the loss of Cristian. :hug: You will be in my thoughts. :hug:

 

I am so sorry for the loss of your son....May Mateo come home quickly......
Big hugs for you all....

 

:cry: I am so sorry for the loss of your baby boy, Cristian. There are no words... I hope that Mateo's NICU stay is short and that you will have him home quickly. Please tell Norma to come to the NICU if she needs any support-we are there! :hug:

 

Welcome to the world Mateo. I hope that his NICU stay is a short one. I"m so very sorry to hear about Cristian. :cry: Many :hug:'s to you Joe and Norma, your family is in my thoughts and prayers. :hug: :hug:

 

I am so sorry for your loss of Cristian. :hug:

:birthday: Mateo and I hope he comes hom soon.

Glad Normajean is doing well.

 

I hope Mateo's stay is short and he is able to go home soon.
So sorry for the loss of Cristian may peace find you and Norma soon.

 

Thankyou for coming on here to let us know. I am so sorry for the loss of Cristian. Please let Norma know we are all thinking of her. I hope Mateo gets to come home very soon!! He is adorable!!

:hug: ,
Heather

 

I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

I hope Mateo is home with you soon and that NormaJean's c-section recovery goes well.

 

I am very sorry about Christian, and I'll be thinking about you two and Mateo! I hope things go well and he comes home quickly!

 

I am so sorry for your loss. :hug: I hope Mateo continues to do well and gets to come home very soon.

 

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful son Mateo. There are no words to describe how deeply sorry I am for the loss of your son Christian. You and your family are in my thoughts. :hug:

 

Congratulations on the birth of Mateo :birthday: , and I am so sorry for the loss for Cristian :cry:.

My girls were born at 30 weeks when we unexpectedly found out that one of them had died. I found the ladies here at TS in the Parental Grief Forum to be such a valuable support. Please come over to that forum when you're ready. We have all experienced a loss and understand what is such a bittersweet time for your family.

:hug:

 

I am so sorry for your loss :hug: I hope Mateo is home with you soon and that your flamily soon finds peace.

 

I can't tell you how very sorry I am for your loss. Congratulations on the birth of Mateo and I will be sending prayers to you and your family. may you find comfort.

 

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of Cristian. I hope Mateo's stay in the nicu is a short one!

 

My heart goes out to all of you. Congratulations on the birth of Matteo. I am sorry for your loss.

Take time to grieve. Your angel will be watching over you and his brother now and forever.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of Cristian, but so happy that his brother is doing well. Thanks for sharing your story. Your family is in my prayers. :hug:

 

I am so very sorry for your loss of Cristian :hug:
I hope that sweet little Mateo is home with you very soon!

 

Congrats on baby Mateo!! He is so beautiful!! I am so sorry to hear about Christian. You will be in my thoughts and prayers during this happy and sad time.

 

:hug: I am so sorry for your loss. I know how incredibly hard things are right now and please know I will be praying for you and your family. My twins were born at 34 weeks 5 days and my ds passed away at 5 days old. My survivor was in the SCN for another month after. If you ever need to talk feel free to pt me or post over in PG.

Jen

 

I am so sorry for your loss.

Congrats on your little Mateo..

Hugs to you and your wife.

Mandy

 

Congratulations on the birth of Mateo. I wish him a speedy recovery and that he gets to be home with you and Norma soon.

I'm sorry for your loss of Christian. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.

 

I cannot imagine the overwhelming mix of emotions that y'all are facing. There are many people on this site who have been in similar situations, and hopefully they will be able to help your family.

Congrats on the birth of your son, and sorry for the loss of you other son.

 

I'm so sorry for what has happened. ((hugs)) to you and your wife and all your family.
I hope Mateo has an uneventful NICU stay and is home soon for you to begin to heal.

 

I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am for your loss, but congratulations on your baby boy!

 

My thoughts are with you - I lost my daughter last December - if or when you would like somebody to talk to, I am here for you. What a blessing it is that Mateo is here to comfort you. You will all be in my prayers.