Our Evenings Suck!

Both DH & I work full-time and the twins are in daycare. They have their last bottle around 3:30pm, DH picks them up at 4:30pm, and I get home at 5:30pm. Problem is they refuse to nap after that 3:30pm bottle & so we're either dealing with screaming, crabby babies or babies that pass out after 1-2 oz of bottle (I've tried to get DH to just drive them around after he gets them in the hopes that they'll fall asleep in the car & get that nap in). We've just moved up their bedtime one hour to 7pm, in the hopes that would help, but it hasn't (plus, they are up several times at night fussing & crying for one reason or another). We just started rice cereal & so we give it to them at 5:30pm & then bathtime & then final bottle at 6:30pm. They do the rice cereal okay, but right after they are melting down & then it's just a nightmare until they go to bed. We wind up putting them to bed earlier & earlier because of the crying. I hate that our evenings are so miserable because after all day of being away from them, I just really want to spend some time loving on them & seeing their smiles & playing. But I know that sleep is soooooo important too. I'd move their bedtime up even earlier, but like I said, they're up so much at night that I don't think it'll help.

I'm completely & totally frustrated (not to mention sleep deprived because we wind up being up with them several times at night). I'm thinking about doing CIO soon (when DS gets over his ear infection), but I don't know if that'll help. Anyone have any suggestions or ideas? Or anyone going through the same thing & can tell me that I'm not the only clueless first-time parent who doesn't know what I'm doing?

 

Any way they could go down for a nap at all around 5-5.30pm?

 

Yes, I would have your dh put them down for a nap when they get home. That seems like a long time to stay awake before bedtime. That said, evenings generally suck. It is also called the witching hours. Mine would clusterfeed like crazy during evenings. :hug: I hope it gets better!
Would it also be possible to move the rice cereal earlier in the day? That might be upsetting their stomachs. Just a thought.

 

I would do anything to get them to nap when DH brings them home. Either in the car or maybe in the swing. Anything! That will give them some time to rejuvenate for the evening. I might even ditch the cereal right now and just work on getting a consistent schedule with a nap and evening bottle. Then maybe a bath and another bottle to put them to bed around 7:30 or so. :hug:

 

QUOTE(JicJac @ Nov 7 2008, 07:52 PM) [snapback]1061462[/snapback]
Yes, I would have your dh put them down for a nap when they get home. That seems like a long time to stay awake before bedtime. That said, evenings generally suck. It is also called the witching hours. Mine would clusterfeed like crazy during evenings. :hug: I hope it gets better!
Would it also be possible to move the rice cereal earlier in the day? That might be upsetting their stomachs. Just a thought.


Same here the hrs. between 5 -7 pm are the worst here! They get really crabby around this time. I hope everything gets better for you! :hug:

 

Mine are a couple weeks younger than yours, but occasionally go on nap strike after their 4pm bottle, and are consequently up from 3.30pm until bed time which is between 8 and 8.30pm. I'm a little different, but I refuse to bring their bedtime forward before 7.45pm because I know they won't sleep. If they won't nap, I take the opposite approach (I know, very un-HSHHC). I wear them out by plopping them in their jumperoos and letting them get their built up energy out. My daughter occasionally falls asleep in hers, and we just move her. When my son starts to get cranky, that means its naptime. I really try to make sure they dont skip that little nap, as it means they won't be overtired when they go to bed later. For the most part, they generally sleep through the night.

Our last bottle is between 6.30 and 7, depending on when they woke up in the morning, and they have a top up at around 8 or 8.30pm, when they are about to go to bed. This keeps them going all night, and if they happen to wake up, they know they're not getting fed, and go to sleep quickly.

I really have no idea, as I can only go on what my babies do, but maybe try giving them an 8pm bedtime, and doing a 4.30 or 5pm nap. Of course, it all depends on when they had their last nap at daycare. I find that mine can't normally go more than 2 - 2 and a half hours of being awake.

 

My girls just started daycare this week, and follow a similar routine. We get home around 4:00pm or so, and I let them play and perhaps try solids while they are in a good mood. They are tired around 5-5:30pm, so they go down for a nap. I have found they are so tired from daycare, they are still asleep at 7:30pm! So, I wake them up, play just a bit, bathe them, feed them, and back down they go. A couple of times they took an hour nap, and that helped us stay on our normal bedtime. Like other pp, try a nap when you get home...good luck!

 

*hugs*

Dianna

 

Our evenings do too, so you are not alone. I just finished the Moms On Call book and online course and they had great advice. They said that good parents do have fussy babies, which made me at least feel better. They also suggest doing Tummy Time when they're fussy as they hate Tummy Time and fuss anyways, and you meet a developmental need while listening to the inevitable fuss/crying. She said they also put a lot more effort into is as they're already mad. They also talk about how much better the babies sleep after crying, so we have a new outlook on the crying.

I was saying that I now knew why cocktail hour was at 5pm...to cope with colic time!

Mine start fussing at 3:30pm since the time change...fun fun!

 

QUOTE(Mississippi Mom @ Nov 8 2008, 01:04 PM) [snapback]1062319[/snapback]
Our evenings do too, so you are not alone. I just finished the Moms On Call book and online course and they had great advice. They said that good parents do have fussy babies, which made me at least feel better. They also suggest doing Tummy Time when they're fussy as they hate Tummy Time and fuss anyways, and you meet a developmental need while listening to the inevitable fuss/crying. She said they also put a lot more effort into is as they're already mad. They also talk about how much better the babies sleep after crying, so we have a new outlook on the crying.

I was saying that I now knew why cocktail hour was at 5pm...to cope with colic time!

Mine start fussing at 3:30pm since the time change...fun fun!


Too funny - cocktail/colic hour! We use the Moms on Call system too - what time do you put them down for bed? I do the tummy time in the witching hours and often they will fall asleep they are so worn out from crying and lifting their heads!!!

 

QUOTE(Fossie @ Nov 8 2008, 01:39 PM) [snapback]1062406[/snapback]
Too funny - cocktail/colic hour! We use the Moms on Call system too - what time do you put them down for bed? I do the tummy time in the witching hours and often they will fall asleep they are so worn out from crying and lifting their heads!!!



We just started so we're on the 2-8 week old schedule where they eat every 3 hours starting at 6am, so we're doing a 9pm bottle and 9:30pm bedtime. They go down at 7-8:30pm for a late evening nap, and then a bath at 8:30.

 

Okay, I didn't read all the other post, so I may be repeating some, but....

First, I am sorry it is awful at night. Our girls were the same way and we even named it as "cry cry time" - nothing we could do could stop it and it was every night at 7 PM like clock work. AWFUL! I would end up crying just as much. We went through it for weeks on end and then I was reading a book - don't remember which one as I devoured many of them to learn everything I could...but it addressed this type of problem and said they actually needed MORE sleep at night and to move the bed time up even more. REALLY? It said to really be alert to the babies cues of sleepiness, etc and that babies need SO much sleep and sleep makes sleep, etc etc. It explained that they would still sleep til the next morning around the same time they are use to, but they really needed more sleep.

I figured what they heck- I have nothing to loose and I tried it. Sometimes they were even going to bed at 6 PM or a little earlier and it WORKED! I swear it did. Now, they did still wake a few times during the night just like they always did for feedings etc, but they didn't have the meltdown before bedtime anymore. It made life a little easier. Now, we are self-employed and I was at home with them, so I could do an earlier bedtime. I don't know if it will fit your situation as I understand you both work outside the home too, so that is a lot to do in an evening. We didn't do baths every night at that age, so we didn't have that to deal with each evening.

Good luck and I hope it gets better soon!