Other Kids' Opinions

My girls are discovering the power of other kids' opinions. While in some cases it's a good thing, in other cases, like today, not so good. I really don't know how to approach this and was wondering what some of you say to your kids when they come home upset about what other kids think. Today Allison was so thrilled to be wearing her spider halloween socks. Apparently, one little girl didn't like them, so now she doesn't want to wear them anymore. She is very adamant about it and refuses to hear anything I have to say about it. I really want the girls to not care what others think about the way they dress and wear clothes they love regardless of what others think. Any suggestions on how to help them not take people's opinions so personally? It really makes me sad to know how excited she was about wearing this morning, and then coming home and wanting them off immediately. I really hate this part of school.

 

I'm one of those people who could care less and a lot of it is confidence and self esteem. I would point out the socks are comfortable and cut and that she likes them. You might also ask if the girl did not like her favorite thing in the world would that effect Allison liking it. If she says no then ask her why her socks should be any different

 

Jamie Lee Curtis wrote a book that we checked out recently called I'm Gonna Like Me. I think you should read it with her.

 

Thank you! I'm going to check it out.

 

My 7 yr. old's class is a "bucket filling family". There is a book for kids and their families to read together and she brought it home one night for us all to read. It is a great concept and even if your daughter's class/teacher isn't doing the program, it has some great info. on how when people say and do nice things they fill out buckets. When people say or do mean things, ignore us, tease, etc. then that dips into our buckets. We feel happy when our buckets are full. It kind of ties in with what went on with your Daughter I guess. I just really liked how it related to kids and all of us really.

I'm like your Daughter and I guess that stems from having lower self confidence, being shy and worrying about what others think of me. I wish I weren't like that, but I can see that happening to me as a kid. You can't necessarily change a personality, but talking about the importance of thinking for herself, doing things that are right, not having to follow what everyone else like/dislikes and probably giving examples is a good way to go. Not just once though...overtime it'll probably help sink in. My kids like to hear examples from my childhood too that can help them relate to what they are experiencing and then coming up with different ways to handle a situation and letting them pick the best one for them.