One twin prefers Mommy

Amy's in a stage right now where she almost always wants me. She's fine with DH if I'm not in the room, but if I'm right there and he tries to take her for a diaper change or something, she whines and reaches out for me. And when we're out and about, she always wants me to hold her hand, carry her around, etc.

I know it's normal for kids to go through phases of preferring one parent over another, but (aside from the fact that it hurts DH's feelings, though he knows it's normal), it's pretty inconvenient. If I give in to her, it means that Sarah is always with DH, and I already feel like I don't have as good of a bond with Sarah. Plus, sometimes it's just logistically impossible for Amy to have me when she wants me!

What to do -- give in whenever possible, assuming it's just a phase and we might as well avoid having her fuss? Or insist that she go with DH roughly half the time, so that at least we're not encouraging her to get even more attached to me?

 

I've gone through the same thing with Ainsley on and off since they were 4 months old. From about 4-9 months, no one could touch Ainsley but me. Now it's much, much better, but if she's tired or upset, she only wants me. This whole situation has resulted in Bea becoming more attached to DH, she is such a daddy's girl. We pretty much gave in, because DH's time with them is usually in the evening before bed, and we don't want her sitting there screaming and crying the whole time we're all supposed to be peaceful and winding down for bed. We have done little things like in the morning, DH will get Ainsley dressed and then spend some time with her in the kitchen while I get Bea dressed, or when she's in a good mood, I had her off to DH for some "Daddy only" things, like ticking and tossing them around.
It is tough, and honestly it can be annoying at times when Ainsley's being all "Mommy-rific" as we call it, and I really need to go do something.

 

As you aready said, it is normal and just a phase. We had this and still do sometimes. I wouldn't fight any of this. I would go with the flow to give the child the attention it needs.

Hang in there, there will be a time that none of the kids will want either one of you...lol..ykwim! :hug99:

 

Please - just be glad that they both don't want only you! Mine have been like this for almost 6 months (from 18 mos to 2 yrs) and they flip out if they can't have me. I am PG again and am desperately trying to get them used to DH handling their issues - especially at night. I am hoping that in 5 months - they will be cool with DH and not so attached to me! Maybe they will grow out of it as well?!

So, give it time and start slowly. I refuse to go into them for the first 30 mins at night and refuse for the first 10 mins during the day - making DH do it. They are getting better but still prefer me!

Good luck

 

It is just a phase. When my two were younger, much younger, dd would prefer dad. She was a plug baby and he could comfort her better. DS was a boob baby (no plugs) and he was definitely a mama's boy. Then one day DD did a complete turn around and now DS is better with daddy but DD is a mama's girl! Just so there is no confusion, they are both boob babies, just that Audrey took the pacifier.

 

You'll end up picking your battles just like everything else. If she is screaming for you to put her in her carseat instead of Daddy you will likely give in so you can get moving. At least that's how it's worked out for us. Both of mine have prefered me forever. Certain things we have stuck to our guns on. When it's daddy's turn to give the bath he does. However, we had a few screaming baths but once they realize it is something you won't budge on they give up.

 

My twin girls will be 4yrs old next month and my Sofia is the one that prefers me. She doesnt like holding daddys hands while taking a walk. She doesnt like him putting her carseat. It is very frustrating! For me and for him(he get's his feelings hurt...then he gets mad). She has been going through this "phase" for a while now but it has gotten worse lately. I really try and choose my battles. I really try NOT to step in if daddy is trying to hold her hand and she is throwing a fit cause she wants me. I think she needs to learn that daddy can hold her hand too or put her in the carseat. If I want to avoid a blow up i try and give her the attention she obviously needs from me. Even at night she NEEDS me to be the one that sings their good night songs. Daddy can sing but I NEED to be the last one to sing a song. What can I say she loves her mama. As frustrating as it is............It is also enduring. I know one day she may not want anything to do with me(when she's a teenager). I say be paitent. Give the attention to the one that is asking for it. Malena is content to be with me or daddy. She doesnt seem to feel bad about Sofia needing to be the one that gets to hold my hand. I do give Malena alot of attention but she doesnt seem to be so needy as to who holds her hand, puts her to bed, puts her in the carseat like her sister(Sofia).


Cherie