One twin biting, pushing and bullying

Cooper has been biting Eli A LOT lately, pushing him down and taking things from him. Sometimes I let it go when the takes things b/c I want Eli to take up for himself and others I get fed up and give it back to Eli. When he pushes, hits or bites him I tell him NO but he still does it. He will do it again as soon as I get done saying NO! I know he knows what he's doing when he hits, pushes or takes something but I'm not sure he knows what he's doing when he bites. He only bites when they are rolling around or wrestling. I think he "thinks" he is kissing him? I know he bites us sometimes when he thinks he's blowing bubbles on our tummies or legs. How do I get him to stop? If I pop his hands am I telling him it's ok to hit? He just laughs at us know when we tell him NO and still does it. I don't want to be harsh to him but he has got to stop biting Eli. He has two welps right now.

 

I PINCH MY KIDS CUTICLE.. I TELL THEM THAT IM BITING THEM TO SHOW THEM HOW IT FEELS.. THEN PUT THEM IN TIME OUT..

I DONT CUDDLE.. THEM BECAUSE IT JUST GIVES THEM ATTENTION..

WHEN THEY COME OUT OF TIME OUT.. THEY RUN TO ME.. BECAUSE THEY HURT FROM THE CUTICLE BITE..

I TELL THEM TO TELL THEIR SIBLING SORRY AND THEN I KISS THIER OUCHY..

MY KIDS ARENT BITING A WHOLE LOT BECAUSE I BITE BACK

I DONT WANT TO I JUST FOUND THIS IS THE MOST EFFICIENT WAY TO SAY NO BITING..

NOW HOW DO I STOP THEM FROM HITTING???

 

We are coming to the end of a biting phase, this time around it has been Colin biting Ryan.

I watch for "signs" when he is likely to do it, and then I intervene by offering him something else to bite (like a blanky or soft toy) and telling him that biting hurts and he needs to use his words.

Colin does it when he is either 1)REALLY hyped up and wrestling around with Ryan or 2)REALLY frustrated with something Ryan is doing.

IF a bite does occur, I immediately comfort Ryan, giving him LOTS of attention, holding him, offering him a cold cloth (their favorite request for boo-boos )until he is calmed down. Then I go to Colin, get to his eye level and tell him firmly that biting hurts and we don't bite people, people do not like it.

It's funny, cause during the time I am comforting Ryan, Colin is doing anything to get attention from me, to the point he is trying to crawl up on my lap too.....then I just get up and move someplace else. But I think it shows that he is wanting some kind of attention from his actions, and not getting it bothers him.

I believe toddlers bite due to being unable to express extreme emotions, and it is my responsibility to help him deal with that until he is able to express himself.

The first time around with this I did get upset with the biter, which usually just fueled him into thinking it was something funny to do. I read alot about ways to handle it, and have found that comforting the bitten first and then having a firm and consistent response to the biter works best for both me and my sons.

 

Mine did the same thing!

I talked in a very stern voice with a big frown and said "no" and would flick my dd's mouth repeating "no biting!" then pick up ds and cuddle and love on him. She hated that and it seems to have stopped now but took a while. She only did that when he bullied her since he is bigger than her.

Here's a pic of my poor ds! yes, that is a bite on each cheek from her that she gave him 5 min apart from each other when they were 12 months old!

 

We actually are going through the same thing.

I try to intervene as soon as I can to avoid the biting, but if one does get bit I pick her up, cuddle and run her fingers or whatever under cold water (they love that).

Whichever girl does the biting I hold her hand (so she can't away) and tell her biting hurts or hitting hurts (that's what the ped told us to do).

Hopefully it is over soon.



Chris

Mom to:
Samantha Jane born 12/31/2005 - 6lbs 10oz - 37 weeks
Emily Ann born 12/31/2005 - 6lbs 6oz - 37 weeks

 

Thanks Ladies!

Alison- ouch! I hope you keep those pics to show her one day