One Twin a Bully?

Hi there,

I am new here. I am in desperate need of help with my 13 month old boys. They are very good babies, however, my one son Nicholas is constantly taking things from his brother. No matter what Michael has, Nicholas takes it out of his hands and Michael starts crying. How do you handle this? I'm trying to redirect Nicholas but it doesn't seem to work. I've tried giving them the same thing to play with/look at, but that isn't always going to be the case. HELP!

Bernadette

 

I don't think I have answer really- but my Paul was the bully at that age- we always ended up finding something else for Jack and telling Paul no or giving the item back to Jack. We weren't terribly consistent. But, my point is that now- Jack is the bully and paul is the sweetheart! Jack is even occasionally biting when he doesn't get his way. We are extremely consistent on making sure he knows it is wrong ...
If Paul has something Jack wants- Paul will normally hand it right over. We are wondering if we handled things wrong when they were littler- or if it'll just kind of go back and forth through these early years....
best of lluck to you
Lanie

 

hi.. i went and still go through the same things with my girls.. if its a small item i do give them the same.. even if its a tootsie pop..has to be same flavor.. otherwise i have to sit them down and explain to share.. their bulliness changes.. one minute its one and the next its the other.. sit tight its gonna be a lonngg ride!!! good luck.. but my advice is for now.. if its a small toy etc try to give them both the same..

 

Hi :wavey:

At that age I would stick with redirection. Tell Nicholas "No. We don't snatch. Michael was playing with that." and have him 'give' the toy back, then try and interest him in something else. It's not going to be a quick fix because it takes them a long time to understand the concept of sharing, and like others have said you will probably find that sooner or later they will switch roles and it will be Michael taking things from Nicholas!

 

QUOTE(PoshTwinMama @ Mar 13 2008, 02:47 AM) [snapback]666552[/snapback]
Hi there,

I am new here. I am in desperate need of help with my 13 month old boys. They are very good babies, however, my one son Nicholas is constantly taking things from his brother. No matter what Michael has, Nicholas takes it out of his hands and Michael starts crying. How do you handle this? I'm trying to redirect Nicholas but it doesn't seem to work. I've tried giving them the same thing to play with/look at, but that isn't always going to be the case. HELP!

Bernadette


First of all :sign0016: to twinstuff!! Jack does this with SOphie all the time. Even if he doesnt really want the toy he will take it. I just try and make a point of taking it back off him and saying Jack we have to share its Sophie turn now and you will have a turn later. Though Sophie is learning for herself as when he comes to get the toy she picks something else up and gives it to him so she gets to keep what she had! x

 

Thanks for all your help ladies. I'll keep trying! I hope to get to know all of you!

 

My girls love each other and are often quite nice to each other. but Lily does bully lily at home and i've been told Mia bullies lily at daycare.

 

Hello! My name is Jessica! I am having the same issues as you! Except, like one of the other posts. My girls go back & forth on the which one is the bully. At times, it cracks me up. But I don't let them see this. But anyway, I would have to say that the little one (by 2 lbs) Sarah is by far the boss! But at times, Kaylee will show her up. It is crazy. I have resorted to 2 single strollers when I am out with DH or family. That way they have their own little space. When I put them in the double, they pull hair, bite & grab, etc.. This doesn't happen all the time, but I'd say at least 70% of the time. When they are home, they will grab stuff out of each others hands & just squeal as loud as they can. Usually it's Sarah running the show. Then Kaylee gets this sad look on her face. I feel so bad for her! But like most of you, I take the item back & give it to Kaylee. Then tell Sarah (in a very stern voice :angry: ) NO MA'AM! That is Kaylee's. Or We have to Share! At times, I remove which ever one is not being nice & put her with a different toy hoping to distract her. I have applied pressure to their hand when I take the item. Not enough to hurt, just to get their attention. But still, I do not see any improvment.

Out twins are very close in age. Keep in touch! It will be interesting to see how they do this year!

Jess

 

Emilie is definitely the bully and the boss of my two. It's funny because she is 3 lbs. lighter than Trevor, but she doesn't take any crap from anyone. :lol: I won't have to worry about her at all!