One stealing from the other?

Kaytlin keeps stealing anything that Alivea has. Most of the time Alivea lets her have it but sometimes she gets angry. On the rare occasion that Alivea takes a toy from Kaytlin, Kaytlin throws a HUGE fit. I am not sure what to do? Should I correct Kaytlin when she steals a toy and tell her no and give it back Alivea, or should I just let them work it out? I feel bad b/c when she takes a toy from Alivea, Alivea looks at me with such a sad face like "where'd my toy go, mommy?"

 

Kaytlin keeps stealing anything that Alivea has. Most of the time Alivea lets her have it but sometimes she gets angry. On the rare occasion that Alivea takes a toy from Kaytlin, Kaytlin throws a HUGE fit. I am not sure what to do? Should I correct Kaytlin when she steals a toy and tell her no and give it back Alivea, or should I just let them work it out? I feel bad b/c when she takes a toy from Alivea, Alivea looks at me with such a sad face like "where'd my toy go, mommy?"

 

My girls do the same thing! It's seems that whatever Claire is holding- Susie MUST have. I either let them fight it out or introduce another toy.
I'm interested to see what more experienced moms have to say. Help us!

 

My pedi told me at that age to let them work it out most of the time unless it's getting really physical and someone could get hurt.

I OCCASIONALLY replace the toy back to the original recipient, but tried to let them work it out. Now that they are older, I can say "Ali was playing with that" and Martin will most of the time hand it back and Alison will sometimes hand it back, but the have a sense of who really plays with what and they will often without coaching bring the other a toy that he/she likes. It's really sweet.

 

mine are always fighting over the toys. doesn't matter what it is...if one gets it the other one wants it. I try to let them work it out, or I will throw in another toy for distraction. its really kinda amusing to me to watch them fight about it.

 

Maia almost always steals from Tal - even if they're playing with identical toys, the one that Tal's waving in the air is much more interesting. I'll usually only physically intervene if Maia inadvertently gets rough with Tal (she's a lot stronger). Usually I try to let them sort it out for themselves, particularly as Tal started to immediately cry and look to me and I really do not want to have a Victim / Aggressor dynamic. Interestingly, she's mostly stopped doing that and instead tries to grab the toy back. Here's a link to a short video of that if you're interested (Tal's on the left).

Instead, I tend to offer Tal something else to play with (which of course, Maia will instantly want). I also try to verbally coach ie "Tal was playing with that, Maia" or "You need to share" or "Gently with your sister". Obviously the words make no sense to them, but it gets me into the practice of saying it and eventually it'll click for them too I hope .

lisa

 

Sam always steals from Syd. If Syd doesn't get upset, I leave it alone. Syd will usually find another toy.

If Syd gets upset, then I give her the original toy back. And I give Sam something else to distract her.

 

our boys are much younger and already it has started... Tyler want's whatever Bryce has and it begins agame of tug-o-war and usually ends up with Tyler with the toy and b crying...