OMG...The volatile anger outbursts from DS just started - WTH.

So our twins were off for holiday break for 2-weeks and DH stayed home with them since he is a teacher in the same school district.  Then Michigan got hit with the snow and cold, so they got 3 extra snow days.  When the twins returned to school for 2 days last week DS started having these volatile anger outbursts where if things are not going his way or to his liking he starts screaming with occasion throwing of a stuffed toy when not in school.
 
On Saturday night he started screaming at DH during the bedtime routine, threw his stuffed animal he sleeps with at him, and screamed "Pick it up DADDY!  NOW!".  DH told him to get his butt up and pick it up himself since he threw it as well as not to talk to him like that.  After more screaming by DS my DH just closed his bedroom door since he was so angry he was afraid he would hurt him by accident if he spanked him and I was sitting there with wet nail polish on.  In the morning I had a long talk with DS, who cried, said "his brain was running around all crazy in his head, and I told him we all had bad days yet he was not to scream at us like that unless someone is hurt or getting hurt to alert us.  He immediately apologized to DH when he woke up, but had some small outbursts with his sister later in the day.
 
Then my mom told me when she picked him up from school on Friday for "grandma time" that he was arguing loudly with another little boy over DD saying "she's my sister" and the little boy was saying "but she is my friend".  My mom said her and the teacher arrived at the situation within seconds of each other, so they separated them until all parties had calmed down.
 
Now I am concerned if this is an anger issue that needs to be addressed or is he having outbursts from having to be in control again all day at school in kindergarten.  I also wonder if this is a phase.  Has anyone else dealt with a similar issue?  I am at a loss at how to handle this.

 

I would give it a few days and see if it resolves.
 
Also, read a few books on kids & Anger (When Sophie is Angry & Angry Arthur) with him. Talk about ways to handle anger and strong emotions. Also maybe playact a few areas that you see are developing (practice going to bed, practice disagreeing with someone, etc).
 
Some kids just dont handle change well-- and after 20+ days off of school, going back is a big adjustment.
 
Or is he getting less sleep? Eating less? Both of those can cause flash anger & irritability that usually subsides when more sleep/better eating is established.
 
I will note that one of our DDs tends to have volatile behavior right around her birthday….every year. I have no idea if it is a growth spurt or what, but each year we get a few challenging, tantruming weeks that then fade away.
 
Good Luck. Flash anger is hard to handle- stay as calm as you can! Likely he is just as upset at being out of control.

 

I agree, give him a week or so to get back into the routine.  I remember one year after the holiday break, Jon's teacher commented to me that his behavior was like it was in October--meaning that his behavior had regressed to the beginning of the year level.  He just, especially when younger, did not handle the transitions well.

 

Thank you for the suggestions and book ideas.  I spoke with his teacher to see if he was having these outbursts in school, which he is not, and she suggested that it could be due to the extra long holiday vacation with the 3 snow days causing a disruption in his routine or a growth spurt.  Once they were back in school a full week he was happy to get homework and his weekly book reading log.
 
I have noticed signs of a growth spurt and when we went to the dentist for a cleaning yesterday they confirmed growth with their adult teeth coming in early with x-rays.  The dentist told me to watch for complaints of facial pain and to treat with Tylenol or Motrin and to also expect moodiness.  She said it is because they are both so tall for their age that they tend to get their teeth earlier and the growth spurts seem to be more emotional for them since they are still young and in kindergarten.
 
At least we got some answers and the emotional/violent outbursts have decreased to one or two small ones a week.  Now I calmly ask the offender who is this child since DD started too and when I say I do not recognize this child I ask them if they need to go find their "real" home since my twins don't act this way.  This technique has really gotten them to stop and look at their behavior.

 

Was his sleep schedule really messed up over the holiday break?  I notice my kids get out of control when they don't get enough sleep and it takes them a week or two to get back in the routine and get caught back up on sleep.

 

Oh yeah.  He is our early riser, so most mornings he is awake anywhere from 5:30-6am sitting in his bed waiting to hear someone else get up (still slightly afraid of the dark).  By the time they started school again I was lucky to get them up between 7:30-8am and that was with the same bedtime as begged for by them.