OMG! Nanny Nightmare...

My dh and I just spent the better part of the last two months searching for a wonderful nanny to care for our 5 1/2 monthers and thought we had found just such a person. We actually ended up going through an agency which cost too much money, but gave us some piece of mind. At least we thought. We are both musicians and had our first concert together tonight since the twins were born so it was also the first time we had left the babies with another person for more than an hour since they were born. When we got home after having been gone for about 4 hours we were bowled over by the smell of gas as soon as we opened our front door. Dh immediately checked the stove and saw that one of the burners was on, unlit, about halfway. We ran around the house opening every window possible. It's a fairly decent size house and basically every room stunk like crazy. We called poison control to make sure the babies were going to be alright, which they assured as they should be. Initially we weren't too upset with the nanny and just had her go home. She said she hadn't turned on the burner and we believe that she hadn't done it intentionally but have no doubt that it was her who must have bumped up against it and turned it on. She also said she had smelled something and should have called but didn't. The more we think about this, though, the more we are getting bothered. Is this the sort of thing that just happens and we should just thank our lucky stars that nothing terrible happened? Or is this just something that is inexcusable that can't be overlooked? It was such a trial for us to find someone qualified who can do our schedule and we don't have a backup plan. And we have another concert tomorrow afternoon. What should we do?

 

Me personally, I would have a big problem with having that nanny back. Maybe it was an accident, but if she smelled it she should of done something about it. I would be worried too.

 

QUOTE(moontwins @ Apr 10 2008, 10:52 PM) [snapback]716246[/snapback]
Me personally, I would have a big problem with having that nanny back. Maybe it was an accident, but if she smelled it she should of done something about it. I would be worried too.


I agree with Mary. She should have called the fire department immediately... or at the least, checked the stove and opened the windows. <_<

 

Do you have carbon monoxide detectors in the house? If not, I would maybe look into getting some. So sorry that happened. That would have scared me a lot.

 

It's odd that the smell is that strong and yet she was doing nothing. Is there some clause in your contract with the agency about replacements? I have a gas stove and that has never happend in 5 yrs. When it is first turn to pilot it makes a clicking sound, I think to be turned to halfway would take more of an intentional turn than an accidental bumping - of course, I'm sure that varies by make/model. Did you by any chance come home earlier than she expected?? I'm sorry you are in such a bind but that just doesn't seem plausible to me.

 

On the nanny's side - she could have become used to the smell so didn't realise that it was that strong. I do think you have to be confident of your children's safety however so whether or not it's unreasonable shouldn't matter. You can't be on stage terrified about what could be happening at home.

 

QUOTE(Jocasta @ Apr 10 2008, 11:25 PM) [snapback]716290[/snapback]
On the nanny's side - she could have become used to the smell so didn't realise that it was that strong. I do think you have to be confident of your children's safety however so whether or not it's unreasonable shouldn't matter. You can't be on stage terrified about what could be happening at home.



That is true and she was sitting on our couch downstairs with the window right beside it opened (it's a beautiful night here in the DC area). We are laying here in bed going back and forth about what to do. It's not at all an easy call for us. We have at least 3 months during which the agency will help us find a new nanny for no additional charge but we really do like the one we've found. She adores the children and is just a very sweet person. We know that people make mistakes, sometimes big ones, and that she will certainly have learned a valuable lesson from this one. It's just a question of whether we can get over the "what might have been" sort of thinking.

 

QUOTE(moontwins @ Apr 11 2008, 02:52 AM) [snapback]716246[/snapback]
Me personally, I would have a big problem with having that nanny back. Maybe it was an accident, but if she smelled it she should of done something about it. I would be worried too.


Agreed - so...like if she had smelled smoke would she have just waited until she saw flames? Sheesh!! I would be very leery about her coming back...

 

QUOTE(moontwins @ Apr 10 2008, 10:52 PM) [snapback]716246[/snapback]
Me personally, I would have a big problem with having that nanny back. Maybe it was an accident, but if she smelled it she should of done something about it. I would be worried too.


I don't think I'd be comfortable having her back either...

QUOTE
It's odd that the smell is that strong and yet she was doing nothing. Is there some clause in your contract with the agency about replacements? I have a gas stove and that has never happend in 5 yrs. When it is first turn to pilot it makes a clicking sound, I think to be turned to halfway would take more of an intentional turn than an accidental bumping - of course, I'm sure that varies by make/model. Did you by any chance come home earlier than she expected?? I'm sorry you are in such a bind but that just doesn't seem plausible to me.


And like Sheryl, our stove makes a clicking noise to be lit and I've lived with gas stoves for more than 15 years now and have been known to bump the handles and it never goes past the clicking. Our stove also has to be pushed in while it's being turned, more than what I, myself anyway could do 'accidentally'.

Now, this doesn't excuse the behavior but maybe she was unfamiliar with how a gas stove worked, and didn't realize if it doesn't light right away it needs to be shut down?? I still wouldn't be comfortable with having her back since if that is the case, she lied to you....

QUOTE
On the nanny's side - she could have become used to the smell so didn't realise that it was that strong. I do think you have to be confident of your children's safety however so whether or not it's unreasonable shouldn't matter. You can't be on stage terrified about what could be happening at home.


Personally, I'm really sensitive to smells, so this may be just me...but there is no way I could get used to the smell, I get a headache sometimes when DH lights our gas fireplace.

Regardless of anything else, I think you should contact the agency. This really could have been a disaster, thank goodness you came home when you did. And you mentioned that you paid them a good amount of money, make them earn it!

 

I would fire her! That is NOT OKAY! Didnt she smell it?!

 

Tough one.

I had this exact same thing happen but it was my Grandma that did it..and she didn't have just one going..she had 2 burners going! I was in the shower so it was only about 5 minutes but I was super freaked out about it too. In the same time..my 3 yr old almost hung herself on the blinds as well. I have realized that my Grandma is not capable of watching all 3 at once so she doesn't. I let her watch the boys on their own or my daugher alone but not all 3.

I would maybe give her another chance. If she has never been around gas stoves she may not have known how to use them. I would go over everything in the house with her and tell her..if she is ever not sure to call (or have someone for her to call if you are not available). If there are more ongoing problems then I would find a new nanny.

 

OK, this was bugging me so I had to add this: Do you also have to push your knob down to turn it on? I just don't know if a push down & half turn can be done on accident/without realizing it. Mine makes the clicking sound for about 1/4 of the amt that the knob turns. THe only way to turn it on w/o the clicking is to push it down and turn it very fast past the "lite" section...So...maybe she was using the stove but wasn't sure how to or if it was ok? what did she have for dinner? something she brought/you left her...do you know of a reason she needed to use the stove? Maybe she was trying to boil water in a pan to make a cup of tea and wasn't sure if it was ok? I would try it myself and see if you can do it by "bumping it". Again, I'm sure it varies by make/model but I am sure this could not be done on my stove. So...at best, she lied to you about why she was trying to use the stove AND didn't do anything about the gas smell...IMO

 

My gas stove doesn't click until you have it turned on in the light position which is all the way past high. Also, I was never around gas stoves until I was out of college. However, I don't know what to say about your situation. I just wanted to point out that it is possible it was accidental and her lack of knowledge about gas stoves is believable to me.
Rachel

 

If your gut is telling you that you will be worried everytime you leave then look for another one. It is great that you liked her but having to constantly worry is not trusting her and that can't be good for anyone's sake.

 

That is so tough. It is sooo hard to find a good nanny. It took us forever, and we went through an expensive service too, so I know what you mean. I think, though, that if you have any doubt in your mind, you have to go with your gut and not let her come back. You would never forgive yourself if you didn't and something happened to your beautiful babies.

Our nanny placement service offers one free "replacement" if things don't work out between you and your nanny. Maybe yours does something similar?

 

well i can see that happening if you bump into the stove and the handle moves. but the smell i can't figure out. you know something smells and you just look for what it is. if it was as strong as you say then she should of opened all the windows herself and called someone. i would of gotten the kids out of the house and called the fire department. if they say well the burner was on then ok i might of felt like an *** but at least the kids would of been safe. i don't know what to say but if it was me yes i would be looking into someone else.

 

Wow. I can only tell you what I would do in your situation....I am leary of leaving my kids with anyone, so personally, I wouldn't leave them with her again. I hope you find a solution. :hug99:

 

My sister was here over Christmas and is completely unfamiliar with gas stoves. She was cooking dinner one night and thought that she had turned the burner on. Instead, it didn't light and the gas was on. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what the smell was. It wasn't until my dh came home and told us that we realized. It was a much stronger smell for him since he had come in from outdoors. When you are inside, the smell just slowly increases.

My guess...she tried to use the stove for something and couldn't figure it out. Then she was embarressed and said that she didn't turn it on. I think I would give her another chance after a very good talking to...and a stove demonstration!

Cary

 

I've accidentally left my own burner on very low without realizing it so I personally wouldn't really be upset with that part but the fact that she smelled something and didn't do anything about it might bother me. Maybe you could give her another try? But, if you don't really feel comfortable with her, trust your instincts!

 

It's possible your nanny is not familiar with gas stoves. She could have tried to turn it on, but when it didn't immediately light like an electric stove she gave up. Or maybe she bumped it and didn't see a flame so didn't even notice it was on. If she's not used to gas, she might not know the smell. She could have thought that there was a just a weird odor (and opened the window near her but didn't open the window near the babies because she didn't want them to get cold).

That might sound like a far fetched scenario, but I didn't know what the smell of gas was and left a burner on for hours once in our new house. I tried to turn the stove on but it didn't work so I gave up. Apparently I didn't fully turn the stove knob off because gas kept leaking out. It was a new house (for us) so I thought maybe there was just a weird smell. My husband came in several hours later and immediately called the fire department thinking we had a gas leak. I was so embarassed when they arrived and figured out the gas was coming from the stove.

So... if you like your nanny in all other respects, perhaps have a conversation with her about gas appliances and how she should handle strange smells, weird noises, etc. Good luck!

 

I have no sense of smell (well, a very poor one) and could see this happening to me . . . especially due the slow buildup, I would probably never notice anything was going on. Go with your gut feeling - if you think she was being careless and are concerned that she will continue to be careless, then you don't want her watching your kids. If you think it was an honest accident and she really just didn't realize, then you might try her out again. You could also have her watch the kids while you're around some time to see how she does.

Good luck! I know how finding someone you trust to stay with your children is so important!

Rachel

 

Back when I was pregnant with the boys, I accidentally knocked into the knob on our stove and turned the burner on. Just enough so that the gas leaked out. I was unloading groceries and my tummy got in the way. I went back to the bedroom on the opposite side of the house and had no clue. It wasn't until about four hours later that DH came home and noticed the strong smell. At some point, I thought I smelled something, but my sense of smell is so sensitive that I thought it was nothing (I always think something is burning).

It could happen to anyone. Even you. It's a really easy mistake to make and not everyone's senses work the same. It's completely possible that it was a total accident and I'm sure she feels terrible.

That all being said, if you're not comfortable with it, you're not. You'll always worry while you're out and who knows if you'll ever have peace of mind. If it were me, I'd let it go, but that's just ME. I'm sorry you had to come home to that. I know it must have been really scary. :hug99:

 

I think if this will lead to you questioning her judgement you should look for someone else. Accident or not, you don't want to be constantly worrying every time you leave your kids in her care. GL!

 

Wow, this is a tough one! On one hand I would say go with your gut, if you and DH feel that your children would not be safe in her care, then let her go. On the flip side, it was an accident and as other posters have said, she may be unfamiliar with the gas stove, smell of gas, and/or got used to the smell and therefore did nothing about it. She might be worth a second chance if she understands that if something seems funny, no matter how minor she thinks it might be, to call either you or DH (or whoever you might have that handles your personal phone calls while you perform). Good luck!

 

Well I can tell you that in our old house we had a gas stove and if the pilot went out it would leak gas and smell-we were assured that this in not dangerous, (like your house wont blow up and you wont die from breathing it in) it just smells bad. If we didnt get the knob turned all the way the pilot light would go out and we wouldnt know it until we left and came home and could smell it. So to make you more comfortable your babies were in no real danger and I am sure that your nanny is perfectly capable of taking good care of your kiddos. I say give her another chance, just show her how to work the stove.
This is just my opinion though

 

We also used an agency to find our nanny. The benefit of paying that high fee is that they should be there as a resource for you even after you've hired the nanny. I would call your contact at the agency and explain the situation. They are experienced and should be able to give you un-emotional advice about how to handle the situation. And if you & the agency agree that the best option is to terminate, then they should help you find 1) an immediate temp replacement for your schedule tomorrow and 2) a new permanent nanny. You paid them a lot of money - leverage it!