Okay...so it started out well...but

I am sooooo tired! A pattern is emerging. Melissa, who talks about her bed all day -- tells complete strangers, "I love my big bed" and "I have a new bed" and "Want to see my big bed, it's pretty" -- doesn't want to sleep in it at night. It started out great, and the situation has gotten gradually worse. She's not wanting to go down in the bed, so several nights she goes and falls asleep (alone) on my bed and I move her to her bed. Then she wakes up without fail sometime around 2 AM and it takes HOURS to get us all back to sleep.

I've been inconsistent. Well, I've tried every time to march her back to her room to sleep in her own bed, but she's wailing "I don't want to sleep in my bed, I don't want to sleep in my bed, I want to sleep in your bed with you...without end..." A couple times I've taken her to the guest room to sleep. Other times I've curled up at the bottom of her bed. Anything to get her quiet.

We've tried telling her, "If you don't sleep in your bed, you can't (insert thing she wants to do the next day here)." And we've stuck with it -- little things like you can't bring your mermaid doll to the pool. Last night it was "...you can't go to the pool." Which is a shame because that ultimately will punish Jade as well. She said she doesn't want to go to the pool. And she also says she doesn't want birthday presents.

Also last night she woke up Jade and then Jade was like, "Mommy in Jade's bed, Mommy in Jade's bed..." so there's a whole nother thing.

I'm at my wits end and dh and I are arguing. He thinks I should just sleep with her in the guest room. And I think that's a bad habit. I want her to sleep in her own bed. Last night was particularly bad because I made her stay in her room, and I stayed there too mind you -- there's just no way she wouldn't follow me out. And she was crying so much and the whole household was awakened. I think we were up from 2-4:30. Ultimately I did curl up in Jade's bed for the long haul and dh woke me up at 7:15. I'm so tired.

Please help.

 

oh, no! what if you told her if she didn't stay in her bed she was going back to the crib? do you still have it and would you follow through with that? my only other suggestion would be to bite the bullet and put a gate at the door and just let her keep everyone up for a few nights (which is happening anyway) until she deals with it. the only other thing i've read about is just being so consistent with returning her to her bed, but no talking and you can stay in her room but no talking to her and that just seems exhausting to me to do time after time night after night. sorry i have no personal advice - just lots of hugs!!! if it were me, i think i would threaten (and follow through with the) bad to crib thing.

 

Ava did some getting up and out of bed right in the beginning and what seemed to work for us was the threat of putting the crib back. She did not want to give up the "big" girl image!!

She did cry but I just kept putting her back in and yes there were times that she wailed but it eventually stopped. I would not start sleeping with her in the other bedroom that will just create a whole other problem. If she will stay in the bed with you staying in the room, then I would do the "Supernanny" technique and sit in her room and tell her "bedtime". Ignore all other requests and gradually move yourself closer and closer to the door until you aren't in the room anymore! I have a friend that did this technique with her 3 year old twin boys who were MONSTERS at bedtime and it worked!! As for the nighttime waking, that is harder and I must say when that happens around here I sometimes have to bring them in our room to settle them down, but they always make it back to their room by sunrise.

HTH and remember it will get better!!

Laura

 

Hey Marie...I don't know if this is an option or not, but can you move their beds together? I know when the boys first slept in their toddler beds, Camden kept getting out of bed and getting in bed with Slaton or falling asleep on the floor next to his bed. To solve that, we moved their beds next to each other and haven't had a problem since. Like I said, I don't know if that's even an option or not.

Good luck! I know how frustrating it is.

 

Thanks everyone!

I've thought of many of these things. She says she actually WANTS her crib back. I'm not sure I even can find all the pieces to put it back together -- nor the energy, only to have her freak out about it.

A gate, hmmm...I guess I want her to learn herself, but I guess you do what you can. I wonder what she wouldnt be able to hurt herself on at this point. I think she'd try climbing over anything I put there.

I have been staying in the room at the beginning of the night and reading using my booklight and two nights ago it worked and they both fell asleep while I was reading, in their beds. Last night she (Melissa) wanted to go to my bed, and I stayed with Jade and read and let her go to my bed alone. (Interesting that it's not really about ME -- it's my bed...)

Pushing the beds together. I thought of this, I guess it might be worth a try, but even more disruption for Jade who is doing fine.

Separating them. I think Jade would miss her sister. Last night she was like, "Where's Melissa?" and "I want Melissa in her bed."

 

Hang in there. I KNOW how rough this is. We have been having a hard time with Ben lately, but I don't think it is related to his big bed. He was sick a few weeks ago (911, went to the hospital, left early from our vacation...) and we were in his room A LOT checking on him and staying with him. Well, he caught on really quickly! And we too were very inconsistent.

The putting him back in his bed and not saying a word trick did not work for us. 57 times later, it was still not working. And at 2am, I have no patience for that hogwash. Plus, I REFUSE to sleep with him or let him sleep with us...that is just a habit I have tried to avoid since the day we brought them home from the hospital.

So last night, at bedtime, we tried this:

QUOTE(avaoliviamom @ Jul 26 2007, 11:16 AM) [snapback]345042[/snapback]
If she will stay in the bed with you staying in the room, then I would do the "Supernanny" technique and sit in her room and tell her "bedtime". Ignore all other requests and gradually move yourself closer and closer to the door until you aren't in the room anymore!


It worked last night like a charm and for the first time in weeks, he DID NOT WAKE UP AT NIGHT. Whooo hoooo. I got to sleep, uninterupted for the first time in a long time!!!! So, this post is long but I just want to tell you that you are not alone. And I will use that trick again tonight if I have to.

 

QUOTE(twoin2005 @ Jul 26 2007, 04:33 PM) [snapback]345256[/snapback]
QUOTE(avaoliviamom @ Jul 26 2007, 11:16 AM)
If she will stay in the bed with you staying in the room, then I would do the "Supernanny" technique and sit in her room and tell her "bedtime". Ignore all other requests and gradually move yourself closer and closer to the door until you aren't in the room anymore!

It worked last night like a charm and for the first time in weeks, he DID NOT WAKE UP AT NIGHT. Whooo hoooo. I got to sleep, uninterupted for the first time in a long time!!!! So, this post is long but I just want to tell you that you are not alone. And I will use that trick again tonight if I have to.


Okay, I'm trying this tonight. Fingers crossed!

I am soooo tired!

 

Sorry to hear you've been having trouble -- I thought you guys were home free!
Good luck tonight!

 

You're scaring me Marie!!! Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time I hope things go better tonight!

 

QUOTE(melissao @ Jul 26 2007, 10:03 PM) [snapback]345589[/snapback]
You're scaring me Marie!!! Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time I hope things go better tonight!


No one should be scared by this. I'm convinced my girls are just super-difficult. Nothing is easy here. Seriously.

Well, she's asleep in her bed and I never laid down with her. I read HP in the "thinking chair" (overstuffed rocker named after chair on Blue's Clues). She tried sleeping on the floor a while (fine, I don't care as long as she's in her room) and then relented and went to sleep in her bed.

I know she'll probably be awake at 2 AM again.

This too will pass this too will pass this too will pass...

 

QUOTE(marieber @ Jul 26 2007, 10:23 PM) [snapback]345631[/snapback]
I know she'll probably be awake at 2 AM again.


She was. <_<

But fwiw it wasn't nearly as DRAMATIC as the night before. She was back asleep after about 15 minutes and some "I don't wanna sleep in my bed I wanna sleepi in your bed I don't wanna sleep in my bed..." but I didn't waiver and I hope this 2 AM waking is starting to seem like a waste of time to her. (except I did fall asleep in her bed for an hour it turned out...)

We're going down the shore for a week beginning August 4 and I'm sure their sleep will get all messed up, and I ReALLY HOPE SO! (always look on the bright side... B)

 

Update: the last two nights she's been sleeping on the floor in her Dora sleeping bag and with a night light. Seems to have changed the dynamic a little. Probably also helped that they had a pre-birthday party yesterday and were wiped out.

Anyway, I see things getting better. Not out of the woods yet.

Jade also slept in the sleeping bag, but this morning wanted to be back in her bed.

 

Our transition hasn't gone too well either. They wanted their cribs back too, so that was a bust. We however leave their door closed all night and they would literally stay up playing until they couldn't play any longer until like 11pm some nights. I resorted to putting a pack-n-play in there so dd could sleep in it as ds was having the rougher time getting himself to sleep. DD would try to sleep and he would jump on her and stuff...anyway sometimes says "I sleep in my bed" and i have to just make her sleep in the pnp because I have tested it a few times and they just stay up and play...WILL THEY EVER SLEEP NORMALLY AGAIN, AND IN THEIR BIG BEDS???? UGH...I can't understand what you are going through...

 

Ok, we are a year ahead of you guys and I don't wanna scare anyone but mine are still no good sleepers. Alex did great in his crib (12 hours plus of night time), Ollie didn't, he was awake and yellin every night.
We changed to toddler beds at about 3, Alex found out he can get out of his bed and switch on the light. However he can't sleep with the lights on, so he comes down a few time per night. Usually until midnight and then he is out.
Ollie sleeps fine until 2 or so and then he comes down, usually he has a lot to say to us at that time, he comes with a lot of company (about 17 stuffed toys) and wants to be in mommy's bed, but he kicks like a football champ. We have tried everything and to be honest nothing has done the trick this far. I like Supernanny and I used her technique. It works better with Alex because he comes when w are awake. When I am ripped out of my few hours of sleep I can't remember not to speak, so I do ad then it is all worth nothing.
Ollie's new thing is to come and kiss the baby at nighttime which wakes her up. So then we enter a whole new level of drama, because my husband ets so angry at him (not that I don't) and the baby screams and screams, and Ollie says he just wants a cuddle (with that"you don't love me" look). This has been our newest problem and this usually holds us awake from 2 to 5 (and Al, who sleeps through all of this rises all happy at 5 to 5.15).
I would like to put a lock on our door to prevent Ollie from reaching the baby, but I am against locks.
Ok I just hijacked your post and gave you no advice... but maybe it makes you feel better that some people have it as bad or even worse !!
Millie

 

QUOTE
Hey Marie...I don't know if this is an option or not, but can you move their beds together?


Also what I was going to suggest. I thought about buying the toddler beds, but my guys have always wanted to sleep together, at night they snuggle up to one another. Their arms are always tangled up together, it is too cute :wub: So me and DH bought a new King Size bed, and put our other king size bed in their room, and there are rails on each side. They LOVE it. They sleep in the middle together, and have their stuffed animals on each side of them.

I am glad things are getting better... I agree with PP the Supernanny approach should work!

Keep us updated.