okay its final! I hate people!

I was so upset i cried!!!!!

AT the grocery store, just me and my girls, a woman walked up and did the usual are the twins, fraternal? they don't look alike, etc....... then she wanted to know there age.... "4 and a half months" she then looks at me and asks if I am the BABYSITTER!!! I say no I am the mother!!!! She asks me how old I am, I am 20....... then she says that i am too young to be the mother of twins.... and wanted to know how I handled it and payed for them

I am young yes but I am more than capable of taking care of my babies..... the pedi couldn't be happier with their progress and told me thus far that I am doing everything great and not to change a thing!!!!! So i was wondering at what age you become capable of being able to "handle" twins..... and how in the world does anyone but a millionare afford twins!!!!

People have no boundaries!!!

 

Wow. Just wow.
I'm so sorry. That's just beyond anything I would have imagined someone asking a new mother. I've had some rude things said to me about being pregnant and having a 9 month old, but *nothing* like that. That's absolutely NONE of her business, and I probably would have told her so...in not very nice terms, for sure!
:hug99:

 

:hug99: I'm only 21 with 3 under 2 and I'm doing just fine. So, I think a 20 year old can "handle" twins PERFECTLY (or at least as close to perfect as anyone). I would have probably blown up at her. That is just such a rude thing for her to say to you. I'm sorry. :hug99: You are a great mother, no matter how old you are.

 

What a dumba$$! I think I would have told her it was none of her business! :vava:

 

People are stupid...really, really stupid. A few months ago, I was leaving the doctor's office with the girls, and a woman came up to oohh and aahh over them. She looked me up and down, asked me if they were mine, then said that I didn't look like I was old enough to have children. I was 21 at the time. I just stared and her and walked away. Just because we're young doesn't mean we can't be good mothers.

 

Wow I am sorry you had to go through that. My girls are 11 months old and you would be amazed at some of the comments I get. People really have no boundaries when it comes to these kind of things, they think they can say whatever they want. Again I am sorry that some people are ignorant, I am sure that you are a great mom to those little ones and kudos for going to the grocery store alone I know it isn't easy.

 

I'm so sorry!! People are so rude! Age has nothing to do with being a great mom!

 

I'm 31 and I can't handle my twins!! I don't know if I'd be any better prepared if I were 41! Don't let other people's comments get to you. If there's one thing I know about people it's that they often speak before they think!

 

im 30 got preg with ds 1 at 27 and twins at 28 like rondajo i have three under 2... aka 3 in 1 year..
i do just fine..

i look like im in my early 20s until i pick up a babie or they call me mommy..

people are rude.. i would just ignore her..

 

You should have told her it was none of her business, and that you were doing just fine!! Some people are morons!!!!

 

Yikes. I am so sorry that happened. Geesh - I am shocked. Just ignore the OLD BAG!! You should have said, "Yeah, you look like you are in terrible shape - you couldn't handle them. Thank God it was me who had them and not you" Then, give her a huge smile... hahahahhahah

 

WOW! That is horrible! I am 32 (but look younger) and I get, "are they yours" all the time. It is none of anyones buisness how you do things. A 20 year old can be just as good of a mom as a 40 year old. I am so sorry you had to deal with that crap. She was just ignorant. You are right about how can anyone afford twins. We have four college degrees, 12 years of college and two professional jobs between us and we still can't afford our kids sometimes (this month is really tight!)

Keep up the good work with your babies and ignore the ignorance!

Angel

 

Thats just plain nasty. Why does she think she has the right to tell you you are not old enough to be a mum. I bet you are a fantastic mum. I would have told her to mind her own buisness. Horrible woman x

 

DD has the same problem and it is very upsetting to her. She is 22 and when we are together people always assume that they are mine. (We both look really young). From the very beginning I had to make sure that EVERY time that someone assumed that, that I pointed out that Stephanie was their mother. It does really bother her also when people tell her she's too young.. in fact we were at lunch yesterday and it happened several times and she was getting so frustrated. At the end of the day she knows shes a good mom and the rest of the world can take a hike!
Lindy, Steph's mom and nana to
Cameron and Corey

 

you are so much kinder than I would have been - I would have had to call her some horrible rude nasty names for saying things like that...I HATE when people leave the filter off between their a$$hole and their mouth!

 

I get that all the time, especially with DD1 - I really was too young when I had her, LOL!
Just let it roll off your back. I used to get really upset; it isn't worth it. There will always be rude people with rude comments, no matter how old or young youare, no matter your situation. There are people out there who look for nasty things to say regardless of the situation. They are mentally ill; you are doing just fine. Hugs to you!

 

That happened to me THIS morning. I needed to run into the bank this morning and I had the babies in a sling. While we were waiting for the bank to open up this older woman with pink hair (yeah PINK!) Strikes up a conversation about them... She tells me they can't be twins as they are not dressed alike... I asked her if clothing alters DNA. She looked confused. She then asks me how the babies are and I tell her. She then asks how old I am, and I ask her how old she is. Again, a look of confusion. She asks if I have other children and I say yes. She tells me, that she can't imagine being so young having all of these children. I reply, neither can I. She asks what I meant and I very rudely told her, "You have no idea how old I am or how old my other children are, so I can't imagine being as young as you must think I am having all of these children."

Just a note to you young moms, I had my oldest when was almost 21 and for most of my life I look like I'm 17 years old. I have gotten nasty and rude comments my entire motherhood. Now I don't tell my age, its none of their business. My response is either to ask them their age or to say "Old enough to have an 8 year old."

 

What a jerk! I'm sorry that happened to you. I can't believe it....some people have no shame. You are a great mom. You have 2 happy healthy babies and your age is none of her business.

 

Peope can be very rude, I guess something must be missing in their life to make them so miserable & they want to drag the rest of us down with them. Don't worry about it, motherhood isn't about age, it's about love & it sounds like you have plenty of that for your babies!

 

THANK YOU ALL!!!! I guess I don't hate ALL people...... just the ones who aren't tsers

Just teasing but all the comments were reassurring...... :hug99:

I am going to have to stop letting people get the best of me.... and I am such a pushover...... I am working on that though

I like the comment about the filter between there mouth and bum that had me laughing for 30 minutes :rotflmbo:

 

OMG! That's one for the record books. You sound like a SPECTACULAR mom! Two healthy kids for anyone is a huge accomplishment - regardless of resources. There are lots of people twice your age that can't handle one.

Now I know it's not polite, but I have felt a lot better since coming up with a bunch of one-liners for rude people. Mostly I just say it in my head to make myself laugh. But once in a while I'll let loose - especially if other mothers are in earshot since they usually laugh as well.

Here's a few for a judgemental busy body -

• "gee, I see you're really concerned. are you free to babysit at 2am this morning? you're probably better at this than me anyway..."
• "Actually, I'm Paris Hilton's long lost cousin so I can afford a ton of kids..."
• "Too young? Gee - my doctor says I am at the peak of health and fertility compared to most women. She told me to keep going now before it gets too risky and unhealthy for a baby...but thanks for the advice"
• "Wow, so you were a teenage mom, huh? Thanks for the tips grandma..."

I know, I know - it's not mature, but it is a way to vent...you deserve a few more laughs!

PS - I get the nanny comment all the time. My response - I WISH I was a nanny, then I'd get weekends off!

 

QUOTE(tinalb @ Jun 22 2007, 11:02 AM) [snapback]303056[/snapback]
Peope can be very rude, I guess something must be missing in their life to make them so miserable & they want to drag the rest of us down with them. Don't worry about it, motherhood isn't about age, it's about love & it sounds like you have plenty of that for your babies!


You are just being human! You are a great mom and that's what's important!! :hug99:

 

Yeah, people look at me in amazement because I am young, have toddlers and am pregnant again. I am like hello, I am married, pay my bills... and my children are doing well and are very well taken care. What business is it of theirs!?

People are just STRANGE!

:hug99: to you.

 

That was totally out of line. I can't believe she said that to you.

 

QUOTE(DCMom @ Jun 22 2007, 12:20 PM) [snapback]303074[/snapback]
I WISH I was a nanny, then I'd get weekends off!


I love it!!!!

People just really feel like they have a license to just say whatever whenever. :hug99: to you.

 

QUOTE(Her Royal Jennyness @ Jun 22 2007, 03:36 AM) [snapback]302575[/snapback]
What a dumba$$! I think I would have told her it was none of her business! :vava:


I totally agree. I get some very rude comments about having 5 kids and only being 26!! Although the oldest is my step daughter she is 7 and I dont advertise to people that she isnt "mine" because she is .... people are forever going on about how young I must have been when I "started".... some people UGH!

 

I was 17 when my DS was born. I got (and still do get) all kinds of horrible comments and eye rolls especially from family members. But somehow I managed and he was an AMAZING, healthy and smart baby, and is now a WONDERFUL, respectful and talented teenager. So $%^& them all!!

You're doing a great job. Maybe we're just stronger than they could ever imagine themselves being??!!

 

QUOTE(Erykah @ Jun 22 2007, 10:29 AM) [snapback]302989[/snapback]
That happened to me THIS morning. I needed to run into the bank this morning and I had the babies in a sling. While we were waiting for the bank to open up this older woman with pink hair (yeah PINK!) Strikes up a conversation about them... She tells me they can't be twins as they are not dressed alike... I asked her if clothing alters DNA. She looked confused. She then asks me how the babies are and I tell her. She then asks how old I am, and I ask her how old she is. Again, a look of confusion. She asks if I have other children and I say yes. She tells me, that she can't imagine being so young having all of these children. I reply, neither can I. She asks what I meant and I very rudely told her, "You have no idea how old I am or how old my other children are, so I can't imagine being as young as you must think I am having all of these children."



I love Erykah's response. I think it's great if they ask how old you are to ask them how old they are. :icon_biggrin: . I hate it that in order for people to see how rude they are that sometimes we have to be equally as rude, but it happens. I'm sorry you had to cross paths with this ignorant person. :nea: