Ok, so i though we where home free after the "Terrible 2's"

Hi guys, i haven't posted in a while...

well we got through the "terrible 2's" just fine.

In fact we didn't have an issue at all, a few tantrums here and there but all in all it was good...

Boy are we making up for it in the 3's

EVERYTHING is a fight... its really bad at times for example my son Aiden, i will take him out of the car, and he will throw a tantrum for 20+ minutes that he wanted mommy to take him out of the car... we try to hold our grounds but its hard..

Bedtime, used to be easy, not its never ending, we each read a book, then its bedtime... but now its i want this book and this book, and make up a story. Then as soon as i shut the door i hear "i need to go to the bathroom" i try to get them in bed by 8:30pm but its dragged out till 9:00-9:30pm almost nightly

they can be great kids (and a lot of the times they are), but the whining is getting unbearable, when it happens its un-relentless...

After they are done whining and ready to listen, we talk to them and tell them its not appreciated, and they apologize to both my wife and myself and give us a hug...

Is this expected at age 3? should i not be standing my ground as much"

I just don't want to , reinforce this behavior by giving them what they want when they act this way.

Then there's the typical hitting a biting to be expected from little boys...

but the whining when they don't get what they want, i need to put an end to that ASAP...

Please any advice would be well appreciated!

 

/pats on the back.

Sorry, people lied to you. The twos aren't terrible, it's the threes and even the fours.



ETA: You really should just decide with your wife what is worth fighting over. Let them win a few times, there're a great couple of threads going on right now, just a few lines down. And don't get your hopes up until 4 1/2. :laughing: We no longer have daily time outs, just occasionally now.


ETA2: Links to the other threads!
http://www.twinstuff.com/forum/index.php?/topic/177871-tell-me-what-im-doing-wrong-i-mean-it/

http://www.twinstuff.com/forum/index.php?/topic/177838-we-thought-2-and-3-was-badboy-4-years-oldwow/

http://www.twinstuff.com/forum/index.php?/topic/177795-pick-your-battles/

 

Yeah, I never understood why two gets such a bad rap, I always found three far more trying. Then there's four...

I think standing your ground is the right thing to do but you may find it helps to pick and choose your battles more (there's a thread with some good advice on that here), before I say no to something I try to ask myself "how much does this really matter/bother me?" and if it's not much then I let it go.
Also try giving them a couple of choices on little things to give them more control. So instead of you just getting him out of the car ask him "Do you want me or Mommy to help you down or are you going to climb down yourself?", for getting dressed ask "Are you going to put your underpants or your vest on first?", when you need to leave the house try "Time to go! Who wants to jump to the car and who wants to march?" and so on. This way they can make a positive choice and be happy and you will get whatever it is done with less fuss and stress.

Bedtime is something that I would not mess around on because in my experience it's the area where children most like to push and push the boundaries, and before you know it you'll be reading 4 stories, singing a song, doing a short puppet show, arranging teddies in a specific order and fetching milk heated to an exact temperature :lol:. So if you read one story each then I would let each twin pick out one story book (again to give them some control) and that's it. If they ask to go to the bathroom as soon as you shut the door I would allow them one trip each. I've heard a couple of good ideas on here for what you do if they continue asking after that; one was to set a timer for (I think) 20 minutes-if they are still awake when the timer goes off they are allowed to go again, the other was to make it clear that if they ask to go but don't produce anything they loose a teddy/book/other item from their bed. Other than that, barring genuine emergencies, I would not open the door again once you've shut it.

For the whining what I've always done is tell them that whining hurts my ears and I cannot understand them until they speak properly. Then I ignore them. If they're getting really wound up or I can sense a proper tantrum coming on I'll model what I want them to say in a nice voice. For example "I can't understand that whining. If you would like me to get you a drink say 'Please may I have a drink' nicely." If they continue to whine I'll say again "I don't understand when you speak in that voice. If you say it properly I will try to help you." Sometimes whining back at them will get them to laugh and stop, but only if they are in a fairly good mood.

Good Luck!

 

the twos and threes are a breeze compared to the fours!

 

And then there is 15. It never gets better really, things change and then it gets much worse.

 

I do think it gets easier. But then my oldest is 14, so maybe I'm in for some kind of rude awakening? LOL

But yeah, three is the worst, IMO. My littlest one turned 3 last month and he's so much more of a pain now than he was even 2 months ago... and he's always been headstrong. Most of mine were much better by 4, though with the twins I was still battling over potty accidents that drove me crazy. And I'm a bit scared of what the teenage years are going to bring with one of them... she's going to give us a run for our money, I think.

 

I am living this right now! Mine turn 3 on Monday and have been acting this way for a good month now. My DD has an attitude that doesn't quit, with the door slamming skills to go with it! I had another twin mommy refer to hers as "threenagers" and I think this is fitting.

 

Wow! You just described our life to a "T"! Amazing...I thought ours were the only ones! LOL... Thanks for posting this--I need all the advice I can get, too. :wacko: