OK ..MY MIL is so lazy

So my boys are 4 weeks now and they are CHUNKY MONKEYS! and I love it!

So to my vent...

My mom stayed with me and my DH for the first two weeks of my boys life and was a life saver. She was text book perfect, she cooked, cleaned and was an angel in helping us out and getting us into a routine that DH and I could manage - with her of course holding the babies as much as she could .

Then she left.... (I cried allot that day).. and then my MIL came....

My MIL came to "help" and said she would do the same my mom did... WRONG!

She sat on the couch and watched "law and order" the entire two weeks she was here and I cooked, cleaned, sterilized stuff, did the laundry, and took care of the babies AND did the 10PM to 6AM shift alone (I was 'allowed' to sleep from 6AM to 9AM uninterrupted til DH leaves for work). She would tell me if stuff needed to be done like one of her typical statements were "Ann, the bottles are dirty can you please clean them? I don't want MY babies to have dirty bottles" I would tell her very sarcastically "you could sterilize them too" and she said NO and walked out of the kitchen. Or I would be in the kitchen cooking dinner around 5pm (OK I'm hungry at 5pm because I've been up since YESTERDAY! and I want to cook early!) and DH is coming home from work at 6. She would be like "why do we have to eat so early... boyfriend name and I don't eat til 8 at night...blah ...blah ...blah". Then she would go to bed around 8:30pm to read because she had a stressful day with the babies and needs to go and rest.

Basically my day is:
get up at 8AM, clean all the bottles, the kitchen (she cooks her own breakfast and leaves burnt food on the stove and all her dishes in the sink for me to clean up). I then normally feed the babies (MIL is in the living room and babies are in the nursery) and what ever they need. I then do the laundry (she also leaves hers by the washer for me!) and clean their room from my night shift. She'll then come up and hold one and tell the baby how SHE"S THE BEST GRANDMOTHER IN THE WORLD and how her love is the best (HA!).

Honestly.. I can't take it anymore. She leaves today and I'm doing the biggest happy dance in the world :a_smil09: (I even lied to her to leave earlier and told her we had friends coming over to see the babies and she need to LEAVE but I said it in a really nice way). I know I should be grateful for her helping but honestly like I told my DH, I'm learning how to take care of my babies and I'm having a hard enough time taking care of two babies. But now I'm taking care of 2 babies and an adult baby that likes to nag and I'm about to go postal on her. He keeps telling me "she leave XX day, just count down the days". DH has been supportive but he's back to work and i'm stuck with her. I'm so glad she's leaving today.

She told me the other day she wants to come up with her boyfriend and stay for a couple of weeks to help me after the holidays. How do I nicely tell her no way in ****, but thank you anyway? I don't want them here... I got so mad the other day I didn't even want her touching my boys.

Ok that's my vent. WHEW... thank you!!

 

I would be livid!!! I can't believe how clueless people are! I am impressed you put up with her that long! I think your DH needs to take care of sawing NO with no wiggle room for the attempted visit after the holidays!!
Hang in there!!

 

She sounds strange. I agree with PP, have DH deal with it but do make sure she does NOT come back to stay.

 

Just have DH tell her you have the hang of it fine on your own and don't need any help after the holidays, but you can't have company either because the babies need all your time and attention and you can't be a proper host. He needs to say it in a 'brooks no argument' voice, though.

If that doesn't work he will have to follow it up with the sound of his foot--or both feet, if necessary--coming down. It needs to come from him so it's clear that you are united on this. Otherwise she can pretend that you are just a bad, mean DIL. She needs to hear it from her child.

 

Wow. Like taking care of two babies isn't hard enough... geez. I think your DH has to have a conversation with her about the definition of 'help.' Did she do anything useful while she was there? I've experienced varying degrees of 'helpfulness' from people, but usually they never create more work for me. They may want to just play with the babies while I run around like a mad person cleaning, cooking and preparing bottles (yes I should have said something, but I'm a non-confrontational wuss)... but I've never had someone come over to NOT help with the care of the babies and not help with any of the daily activities that are part of having a home. Weird.

This is not your conversation to have though.. since its DH's mom, he really needs to step up and talk to her. GL!

 

Oh you poor thing. I agree, I would be LIVID too. augh the audasity!!!! Make up any and every excuse for her not to come after the holiday's. You don't need her aggrevation plus her boyfriends now too!!?? Never in a million years would I allow this in my home. Stay strong...you can do it. Do it for your boys and family.

And speaking of MIL I got one myself. I'll be posting it.

 

I am sorry she was a lazy slug! I would tell hubby that if she comes back after the holidays and brings boyfriend....that you are taking the babies and going to your mom's! And I would do it!


Good luck to you!

Missy

 

DH needs to say "No." when she asks/tells you she's coming back after the holidays. Let's just hope she forgets that she wants to be catered to "help".

 

Sounds just my MIL - the no help, more work, take all the credit kind. My MIL also said she wanted to come again to "help", but after just a day of "helping" she was scared off. Maybe your MIL won't really come back, it could be all talk. If she does really want to, I would have your husband talk her out of coming. You don't need the added stress. Also, don't feel bad if she is upset, right now you need to do what is best for your babies and your sanity. Good Luck!

 

OH MY GOSH!!! DH couldn't talk to her?

Tell her you think you might need some "quiet time" after the stress of the Holidays. She's MORE work than help!! :angry:

 

I'm so sorry! that sounds terrible. Why are so many people much more work then they are help!! At least she is GONE!!

I'd say that you are getting into your own routine and don't really need the help! By 6 weeks we were definitely into the swing of things and having extra "help" just caused problems!