Oh the whining

I have 2 very whiney 13 month olds. I have no idea what they want. I am so worn down by the end of the day. Does this stop at any point? What can I do to make it better?

 

I am not sure why, but all of my kids have gone through a whiney stage right at 13 months. It does get better....and then worse.

 

Mine got really bad with the whining around 14 months. It was awful! Using some basic signs with them helped alot. I think it helped with some of their frustration over not being able to communicate with us. I taught them milk, hungry, thirsty, etc. HTH

 

We are going through the same thing! I am going nuts and feel like pulling my hair out. Last night I put them in the superyard with some toys and put my I-pod on full volume so I didn't have to listen to them while I cooked dinner. They also have started waking up at night again. No advice just letting you know that I feel for you! :hug99:

 

I found that it worked to say: Yes. What kids want desperately and completely to hear is that they are heard and they are going to keep whining until I demonstrate that I had really heard them. So, when they are going into an irrational mode, if I just say "Yes" they doesn't expect to get the thing, they just want to hear YES to know that he's been heard. I identify this as 'helplessness". I see that when they feel that they have no control over their life's that they begin to whine. What I found helped: Giving them power! Not the power to trash the house, e.g., but when they can't have their way in one instance, letting them feel that they are having their way in the next. For example, If we can't have cookies for breakfast, letting him chose which cereal he can have. My general theory is that we all want to feel that we have some control over our lives. And, kids have so little control over theirs (though they seem to consume ours). The more we can help them feel "masterful" the less the feeling of helplessness.

HTH! :hug99:

 

We went through a whiny stage at about the same time you are at now, and now it's back with a vengeance. Thankfully at this point I only have one whiner. If I figure out any great solutions, I will let you know!! For now, all I can offer are big hugs!!!

 

I think it's a phase, it should get better. As with everything else, it will come and go for the next 10-20 years though!

 

I remember right around their first birthday being a terrible time! They also whined because they couldn't communicate. Signing really does help. They also don't quite understand what you are saying, so you can't really discipline at this point, just redirect. Just try your best to keep them entertained. You will get through it!

 

I absolutely remember feeling like all my girls did was cry and whine and grab my legs. I knew that if I got frustrated, they would sense that and it would get worse--or if I had to get something done it would get worse. The thing that ALWAYS helped was to engage them in something. If I was in the kitchen, I would play with them for a while with their fridge magnets until they were "into it" then I'd QUICKLY accomplish whatever task I had in the kitchen, or I'd get them to empty out their kitchen play cupboard. Unfortunately at this age they have a very short attention span and (as I'm sure you know) breaks to do things are short-lived. Maybe make a list of what you need to do and a list of potential distractions and activities for them in the evenings and see how that works out. It DOES get better!

 

QUOTE(Snittens @ Aug 23 2007, 10:37 AM) [snapback]377049[/snapback]
I remember right around their first birthday being a terrible time! They also whined because they couldn't communicate. Signing really does help. They also don't quite understand what you are saying, so you can't really discipline at this point, just redirect. Just try your best to keep them entertained.



QUOTE(Sharon with J & N @ Aug 23 2007, 10:46 AM) [snapback]377067[/snapback]
I absolutely remember feeling like all my girls did was cry and whine and grab my legs. I knew that if I got frustrated, they would sense that and it would get worse--or if I had to get something done it would get worse. The thing that ALWAYS helped was to engage them in something.


We started a MAJOR whiney phase at about 14 months and I feel like it's getting worse (or just wearing on me) at 17 months.

I totally agree that the signing has helped (the boys just started really using their signs to communicate), but they have much less receptive language skills than my 16 mo niece. FWIW, the niece is also a big whiner.

 

So glad to know mine are normal!! They'll be just fine, and then they'll start whining or even crying and turning to "jello" (arms up and limp - mini tantrum) while I'm holding them.

 

*waves hand* nonstop whining here too - over nothing they don't need anything they just want my full attention CONSTANTLY!

 

I am going through the same thing with my 13 month old girls- they are also waking up at night. I'm not sure if its the teeth, or a phase. I've been giving them Motrin for the pain, which sometimes helps.

 

I'm so glad I read this post because my 13 month olds have been going through the same thing. Some days it drives me crazy! My one daughter has been waking up at night too. I don't have any answers but its nice to that you are not alone.

Jennifer

 

Count me in on the whining! They are driving me NUTS!!!! I hope they get over it soon. Emma ended up sleeping in our bed last night because she was so cranky.

This morning they were so whiny all I could do was laugh - NOTHING made them happy!

I have no advice - except that it can't last forever!