Offensive Questions via Cashier

Ok....I am still on mostly bedrest...I am allowed to get up and do little things, I go to Sunday school and yesterday even made it through half of church before we had to leave and come home. ( I don't get out much)

Saturday we had to go to Lowe's to get a new washer and dryer as our dryer broke last weekend. We were at the so called "Service Desk" The cashier of course asked, oh my when are you due? ( I am like here we go) I smiled and said February! (I am measuring at 42 weeks! I am also only 5' tall ) Her eyeballs about popped out of her head! She said "what are you having Twins??" "Yes we are having twins", I said with a smile. Then it started...."Do they run in your family?" my response "they do now!" her....."you weren't ARTIFICIALLY INSEMINATED WERE YOU?" :umm: huh??? what possessed her to ask me that? I said "these babies are an answered prayer from God!"


I am seriously considering calling their 1-800 number and asking them if they feel this is appropriate....we spent ALOT of money in there....and the more I think about it...the more aggervated I am. I think they just need to tell this cashier to shut up and work!

Thank you for letting me vent!

Missy

 

Missy I am sorry you had to deal with that. I remember going through similar things and questions when pg with the girls. I think some people honestly don't even realize that they are saying thing that are offensive and they just speak. does that make it ok? No but I have learned to just walk away or politely ignore.

 

I had a woman give me the third degree in CHURCH yesterday. During the Liturgy.

Some people are really insensitive. If you feel that it would make you feel better, by all means, call the 800 number. But if its not going to make you feel better, I'd focus instead on something that will.

 

Sorry to hear this... Next time try this.. I came up with this (but have not yet used it):

When some asks something like "do they run in the familly?" "was it fertility".... anything along those lines, I intend to reply:

[SIZE=14pt]"Nope, It was just great sex!" [/SIZE]

That should leave them speechless!! I can't wait to try it out.. :blbl:

 

QUOTE(jasonsmommy @ Oct 29 2007, 06:45 AM) [snapback]471410[/snapback]
Sorry to hear this... Next time try this.. I came up with this (but have not yet used it):

When some asks something like "do they run in the familly?" "was it fertility".... anything along those lines, I intend to reply:

[SIZE=14pt]"Nope, It was just great sex!" [/SIZE]

That should leave them speechless!! I can't wait to try it out.. :blbl:



That is hysterical....we did do IVF...and I am not ashamed of it...I am actually amazed by the whole process...I have 2 older boys....17 & 16 years old....my 17 year old was standing there....I really just don't feel like some questions need to asked or answered!!! as for you your line about great sex....that is soooo funny :rotflmbo: :rotflmbo: :rotflmbo: given the opportunity ....I may just use that one!

Thank you,

Missy

 

Well I’m only 11 + weeks and people are just finding out that I am pregnant (because I look about 4-5 months)… now it’s coming out that its twins… and since my son is 9 I’ve already got the how long were you trying? What finally worked? And the only reason it bothers me is because this was an unplanned pregnancy… and I don’t want that to get back to the babies later in life… I was unplanned (my dad had a vasectomy 5 years before I was born) so I knew I was unplanned and it didn’t bother me, but it may bother my babies… I just say we weren’t trying (until I can think of something better)… I have found myself getting a little shocking… the other day a women in her late 50’s early 60’s asked if twins run in my family and I said yes, but these are identical and my Dr. told me that its not inherited trait… I guess its just a lesson to my girlfriends, [SIZE=14pt]"don’t go jogging after sex"...[/SIZE]

 

Sorry you had to deal with that, but what about saying "Shall I ask you about your sex life as well?" With a prim and proper smile!!!

I hated that too, but not a lot you can do. You just have to be ready with your comeback and GO FOR IT!!!

 

QUOTE(~* dfaut *~ @ Oct 29 2007, 10:03 AM) [snapback]471609[/snapback]
Sorry you had to deal with that, but what about saying "Shall I ask you about your sex life as well?" With a prim and proper smile!!!

I hated that too, but not a lot you can do. You just have to be ready with your comeback and GO FOR IT!!!




:rotflmbo:

That is a good one! I will have to remember it! I have asked a few crude questions over time...but good grief...enough is enough!

Missy
:umm:

 

I am sorry that you had to endure that. But unfortunately, this probably won't be the last time that someone will cross the line. Like Diane said, have a comeback (or two or three) ready and use it. I tried the "I had sex twice" line on a casual acquaintance and I think I felt more awkward afterwards than she did. So I never used that line again. Now I just say, "We were incredibly surprised and incredibly blessed," and leave it at that.

You will be questioned like this until they are older (people rarely ask us anymore). Call if it makes you feel better, but just know that you will be making lots of phone calls in the future!

 

Try this: Look at the person with a very concerned look on your face and say, "I'm curious. What makes you think it's okay to ask perfect strangers such personal questions?"

Or you can do the Dear Abby standard, "Why do you want to know?"

 

My DH loves the "we had sex twice in one night" line - but I don't know if he's ever tried it on a stranger.

The questions about fertility treatment never bother me, but I wonder if that's because I didn't have it. I just respond that they're the "old fashioned kind" of twins.

-Rachel

 

Missy, I am sorry you feel so irritated at the cashier's questions. While I think that asking if you were AI with a negative connotation is not any of her business, it is VERY common and not unusual. I think that because you are on bedrest and "don't get out much" you are just not used to it. I do think calling their 800# would be an overreaction and extreme.

I do think that people are just intrigued by multiples and don't intent to be offensive or rude. Remember, it is just the beginning to people's intrusive questions so you better get used to it. I am to the point I just smile and have my typical responses and move on. No need to waste my time and energy on getting upset. I really don't think MOST people want to be offensive. They are just curious and are trying to be freindly.

 

Yes, I would report it to Lowes, that is just rude.
I would even say don't you think that is a bit rude to ask a stranger.

 

QUOTE(MissyEby @ Oct 29 2007, 06:30 AM) [snapback]471399[/snapback]
", I said with a smile. Then it started...."Do they run in your family?" my response "they do now!" her....."you weren't ARTIFICIALLY INSEMINATED WERE YOU?" :umm: huh??? what possessed her to ask me that? I said "these babies are an answered prayer from God!"
I am seriously considering calling their 1-800 number and asking them if they feel this is appropriate....
Missy


OMG!!!! I would have been horrified!!!! What buisness is this of ANYONE'S??????? I would definately call the store and make a compalint about the girl and the comment! This type of thing is totally unacceptable, and people need to be aware of what is and is not socially acceptable!

 

I have been asked about the IVF thing many times. By doctors and by everybody else. I just say if you knew me you would know how stupid a question that really is lol.

My pregnancy was unplanned and any pregnancy would have been unplanned but now that it has happened I am excited and looking forward to it even though I will be doing it as a single parent.

It is annoying when people assume they have a right to ask about your love life and the choices you make within that life.

 

when ppl ask me when im due i say " im not pregnant!"

 

QUOTE(tementia @ Oct 30 2007, 05:00 AM) [snapback]473081[/snapback]
when ppl ask me when im due i say " im not pregnant!"



:rotflmbo:
You are a genius!


Missy

 

People feel that they can ask you anything when your pregnant, whether it is twins or not. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I lost count of the number of people who asked me "how" I got my twins. Not really any of your business.... My husband came back with a cruder answer when people asked him .

Once you have them and you are out and about, they ask those questions and more. Now I don't know why it is relevant to some random person at the mall whether I breast feed or not, but apparently they thought it was necessary to ask.

I understand your anger, especially where you don't get out that often.

We also had to buy a dryer this weekend, ours died on Friday (while I had a load of towels in the washer).

 

Our babies WERE IVF but that isn't anyone else's business. I didnt' want our girls to be labelled "IVF twins" --- NO they are just twins. It doesn't matter HOW. I think it is a personal question and nobody has the right to ask. Is there not any other questions that people can ask ???

 

QUOTE(tementia @ Oct 30 2007, 04:00 AM) [snapback]473081[/snapback]
when ppl ask me when im due i say " im not pregnant!"


:rotflmbo:
hope u dont mind, but i am sooo using that!!!!

 

QUOTE(moski @ Oct 30 2007, 08:02 AM) [snapback]473153[/snapback]
People feel that they can ask you anything when your pregnant, whether it is twins or not. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I lost count of the number of people who asked me "how" I got my twins. Not really any of your business.... My husband came back with a cruder answer when people asked him .

Once you have them and you are out and about, they ask those questions and more. Now I don't know why it is relevant to some random person at the mall whether I breast feed or not, but apparently they thought it was necessary to ask.

I understand your anger, especially where you don't get out that often.

We also had to buy a dryer this weekend, ours died on Friday (while I had a load of towels in the washer).



We had a load of towels in the washer as well!!! how odd is that!!!!

Take care and good for your husband!!

Missy
:wavey:

 

That stinks! I hate those questions! I also hate when strangers seem to think it is okay to reach out and touch your belly. What is wrong with people? I like some of the responses above. Hee Hee. Good ones all!