OCD or "Toddler"?

My Melissa. Seriously consistently difficult, since birth. Tweaky, squirmy, hyersensitive, tantrum-prone, with a scream that'd just eat through you. She is receiving EI for sensory issues -- OT 2x a week. But the way she's been acting lately is driving us up a wall. She wants everything a certain way and if she can't have it exactly so, she throws a fit.

Like this: after the tub it's time to put jammies on, which means some lotion, diaper, etc. She wants it done on her blanket, on the guest room bed, but the blanket has to be positioned a certain way (an unarticulated certain way that I don't really understand which starts the unpleasantness), and then she'll actually purposefully mess up the edge and freak out "fix it!!"

That's just an example there are little OCD moments like this throughout the day. Surrounded by perfect angelic moments. Everything she does takes three times as long as it should because of all the battles she creates and the attention that every detail requires.

DH thinks she needs more help. So this is a serious question...is this typical toddler? or do you think we should consider (what??)?

 

Justin used to be extremely particular about how his toys were lined up, the order in which things were done, etc. But it has subsided & he never had the other things you mentioned - difficult, tantrum-prone, although Hailee was all that. I guess you got my 2 combined - whew, poor you :laughing: Seriously though, I would think that if she needed more help than she is currently receiving that they would recognize this at EI & suggest it, no?

 

I think they go through "rules" stages don't they? Like if you don't do it exactly THIS way, it's wrong. I don't know for sure, but it's worth ASKING about, right? I mean it can't hurt to talk to the doc or the EI therapist can it? Good luck Marie!! :hug99: Please keep us posted!

 

Honestly, sounds like my Hannah. I am going to go with the vote: toddler thing.

 

I am also voting "Toddler!" Katelyn is very much going through a "you do it this way, at this time, in this place" stage with everything it seems. ANd if it not done that particular way than a tantrum is sure to follow!!

 

We had OCD issues with Evan. It was mostly bedtime stuff; the curtain had to be closed all the way, he had to have his 2 pillows just so, 2 blankets no matter how hot it was in his bedroom, had to have his stuffed animals arranged perfectly on his bed with his favorite under his arm, would not listen to any new sleepy time music. He would throw a fit if Jude went to look out the window and the curtain would be open an inch, I mean a hysterical fit. Jude's bed was near the window so, practically every night I had to deal with Evan getting hysterical over something. He had to ask certain questions every time; can I have 2 Eskimo kisses, will you close the curtain, and there was one other one that is escaping my memory. He would be so consumed with asking the questions that he would be ask for his Eskimo kisses while I was giving them and he could not concentrate on anything else until I said yes.

His socks had to be just so, he would not wear a tank top and I had a hard time getting him use to wearing short sleeves in the summer. If he threw a temper tantrum and I sent him to his room, he would kick the door and scream at the top of his lungs and go into an even worse temper tantrum. When he got really horrible bruises on his knees, I showed his Pediatrician and explained what was going on and he sent us to see a psychologist type person that deals only with children. This was when Evan was 3 and now he is 4.5. She was wonderful. I learned how to do "special playtime" and also a discipline technique. The special playtime was for only 10 minutes every day but it was geared toward focusing just on him and following his lead while playing along side of him and not asking any questions. He Loved this time so much, I even did it with Jude. I can't remember exactly how many sessions we had, but it was around 8. The discipline was a great tool, but my DH would not follow through...grrr, a rant I won't go into. It was not effective because we both did not do it but I managed to get some positive results anyway.


Now Evan is not consumed with all his bedtime rituals although he still asks for his 2 Eskimo kisses.

It was hard for me to know how to handle him, I didn't know if I was making it worse.

Sometimes we would work through his obsessed concerns carefully and tenderly only to have it replace with an entirely different obsession.
At first I was asking our OT about what to do and she had me fill a questionnaire for sensory issues but he was mostly fine in this department. We had to go to OT at 3 months, 6, 9 a nd 12 months because the boys were premature. And that is my story. :FIFblush:

 

I only have a quick moment, but I'll try to reply in more detail later.

My daughter (age 14) has OCD, as does my xh. His is severe, and requires medication, while my dd has been able to keep hers under control with behavioral strategies.

The behaviors you are describing actually don't scream OCD to me. They scream toddler, to a certain extent, and they suggest she has a temperament that is highly sensitive to her surroundings. Child development specialists would describe it as her ability to integrate sensory stimuli: some people are over-sensitive to stimuli, and others under-sensitive. You mention that she is receiving EI for sensory issues, and the behaviors you describe sound to me like they are related to the sensory stuff.

I'm sorry this is so quick, but I'll try to come back to it later.

-Karen

 

I would probably say toddler, but my dd has the same issues. She is so bizarre in her behaviors sometimes and just goes into screaming, tantrums if everything is not exactly as they always are. It has to be certain cups, her horses have to be arranged just so, she wants the same book read to her every night, her blanket on her bed has to be touching the wall the whole way down the bed, etc..sometimes I think she's OCD too, but I'm not gonna stress too much, I try and keep her life very consistent (I have to with ds #1 he's autistic) and when she goes overboard I let her know and let her go scream it off in her bedroom.

 

QUOTE(mom i am @ Apr 29 2007, 10:49 AM) [snapback]237382[/snapback]
.............. I learned how to do "special playtime" and also a discipline technique.



What was the discipline technique??? Josephine has major attitude sometimes, similar behaviors as others have described here, including screaming fits & throwing things when she gets mad. I'm going nuts trying to figure her out and how to deal with some of her behaviors. I'd love to hear some of the ideas the "psychology person" gave you.

Thanks.

Diane

 

The discipline technique is somewhat complicated and I don't think I can teach it to you, but I can give you the basics. You should use it for all your children. Dh and I both had to be there when the Dr. first had to explain what was going to happen and how it was going to work. In order for it to fully work, both parents have to do the same process each and every time. I don't know if this is appropriate for 2 year olds though. The time out chair cannot be not near a wall or anything else that they can touch with their hands or feet. If they do something inappropriate or will not listen to you, you put 2 fingers up and say "you have 2 choices; you can get dressed or go to time out". The fingers serve as a visual. You count to 3 inside your head (not too fast) and if they have not done as they are told, you swiftly put them on the timeout chair. It does not matter if they start to do as they are told after they see you start to move toward them. If there is hitting or such involved, you just put them directly in timeout. At first we had 2 timeout chairs beside each other to teach the child to stay on the chair but I am uncomfortable about trying to explain how it works, it is a technique that you have to see with your own eyes. While he/she is in timeout, you do not look at him or talk to him. You go about your business, talking to another child or reading a book but you have to be within site and watch without him knowing you are watching. They stay in timeout 1 minute for each year. Evan is 4 so he stays in timeout for 4 minutes. When the time is up, you tell they may get down now and they should appologize. Sometimes they do not remember what they did to land up in timeout and you have to remind them. Oh and having the child slide off the chair with their tummy on the chair and their feet on the floor is alright. They can also be on their knees but no standing. My memory is bad but it took about 6 weeks with appointments every 2 weeks.
:angry: DH can not ignore the screaming/whining/temper tantrums or the not talking to the boys while they are in timeout rule...very frustrating to me and it makes it harder on all of us. If they know they are not going to get a reaction out of us, the screaming is not nearly as fun.
Ignore all whining, go about your business and as soon as the child stops and asks for a snack in a normal voice, turn toward the child and talk to them giving them your full attention..."oh, are you hungry? Would you like to have you snack now? If they start to whine again, turn away and talk to someone else or clean or do whatever it you are in the process of doing. Don't appear angry or upset and do not make eye contact. When they are ready to use their regular voice, you can turn back to them and give them your undivided attention. :icon_biggrin:

 

We have some similar issues with our DS. Gabe is very particular about where toys go, how they can be played with, etc. In his defense, I'm a little overly organized and neat (especially when it comes to putting their toys away). Lately some of his biggest issues come at mealtimes. Foods cannot be comingled. And once a section of his dish has been used for chicken, nothing else can go in that spot (even if all the chicken is gone). He loves storage containers, but if the lid does not fit perfectly, he throws a fit. Oh and the one that is driving me nuts right this minute revolves around a small keyboard that N & G received as a gift. In demo mode, the keyboard will play a different song for each key. However, Gabe will only allow it to play one song. He turns it on, turns it to demo mode and strikes the same key... over and over. The fact that it is April and we are Jewish makes it kind of humorous that the song happens to be "Jingle Bells." I like my share of Christmas music, but it's 8:45am and I'm pretty sure we've heard "Jingle Bells" at least 30 times at this point.

I asked my ped about this recently and he said it sounded very normal for toddlers. He said that some kids really thrive on routine and predictability. That would definitely describe Gabe. He sleeps and eats best when we stick to our routine. The same goes for his mood. I'm hoping he learns to be more flexible as he gets older.

 

I'm going to vote for toddler too. You are describing DS to a "T". He is highly sensitive and everything has to be just so. The tantrums are horrible, but not an every day occurance. I'm hoping this is just a stage.

Crystal

 

I can sympathize with you, not so much with my boys, but with my nephew, since i have seen some of that in him. His parents never talk about it, but his issues have been alarming to me, and I hope they are taking the steps that you have been taking.

For instance: He can only drink milk from the red carton in his fridge. He actually told his dad to go home and get his milk or he wouldnt drink it. He has TOTAL fits, ones that last for at least an hour. They dont dicipline him either, and the more he does it, the more they walk away and dont deal with it.

Another thing..He cant eat cake unless its cut to a certain shape and the icing is all off. If its not this way, again another fit.

These are just some examples...

He is also socially afraid. he cant speak or look you in the eyes (he does with him mom and dad). He just chews on his sleeves and keeps his head down until everyone is gone. If another kid wants to play he runs away screaming. Ive known him his whole life and he still refuses to talk to me. If I ask him a question, its usually a smart answer, Like, I TOLD YOU NO!!! (even though he never said anything)...

Im not sure what the problem is with you little one. It may also be a phase where my nephew is 7 and still does those things. I would monitor it and see it it gets worse. It may be a combination of a little OCD and toddler impatience...I would just keep and eye on it. I know it cant be easy and Im sorry its so hard for you. Just keep reiterating this to the therapist who is helping you, and dont let anything pass her by. Keep her updated on her daily struggles, and maybe she can help.

Hugs and patience dust your way.

 

Anthony is JUST like that. On the one hand, I think a lot of it is toddler stuff but sometimes I really wonder if we've got a real challenge brewing!

Anthony has always had sensory issues, so I do wonder if there's a relationship there.

 

Fay,

Can you elaborate on Senory issues? In my pp I had mentioned the issues with my nephew and my SIL bought up sensory. Can you give me an idea what that intails?

 

I posted about this a while back. Troy has tendencies as well. I'm talking to his pedi at his well check on friday. I am leaning toward voting "high maintenance toddler" for both of us.

-Kimberly