Not Wanting to Step on Toes

I don't want to overstep my boundaries, so I have a question about professional portraits. My daughter has pictures made every three months to chronicle the boys as they grow. Presently she is going with more inexpensive photos but I know she has her heart set on having the boys portrait done with a local photographer that specializes in children. This photographer is a true artist and does phenomenal work and the portraits cost accordingly. I've heard my daughter say many times she wished she could afford a sitting. They've just bought a house, have two car payments and the added expense of twins. I'd like to surprise her with portraits of the boys for Christmas. I'm with the boys for the majority of their waking hours so I see most of their first accomplishments, etc. I don't want to overstep my boundaries and take away her opportunity to take them for their first really special portraits. I'd need to buy Christmas outfits, etc. without her knowing and there again - that would take away another first. Her dad and I would like to surprise her with portraits and I know she would love them, but we would also be taking away something special. We could just give her the money and let her do it - but then it would take away the surprise of a really special gift. Her dad and I have taken them to have pictures made several times and she has always been proud of the photos, but this one would be a really special time. Would you rather have the surprise of the portraits or the money to get them done yourself?

 

For me, I'd love to have the portraits already done and receive them as a gift, but I also think I'd be a bit sad about missing the experience. Could you maybe give "the experience" to her as a Christmas gift? That way she gets to fully participate in the session but doesn't have to pay for it! That would be my ideal.

 

What a thoughtful idea! When I look at photos, part of the enjoyment is remembering the time the photos were taken. So...I think I'd prefer to be part of the experience. I think the PP's idea about the experience being the gift is a good one.

 

That's really of sweet of you to do for your daughter and to be so considerate of her feelings. If it were me, I would love to have the pictures as a gift. I can see where you may be concerned, however, that she may miss out on the occassion if you were to take them instead of her. Maybe you could ask her to come with and tell her about her gift in advance. Ask the photographer to give you the prints when they are ready and then give them to her on Christmas day. She'll get both the experience as well as the surprise of seeing how the portraits turned out on Christmas day.

 

Aren't you a sweet and generous grandmother! In my situation my mother wouldn't and couldn't do that for me, but I would be overjoyed if she did. It really depends on your relationship with your daughter and her personality. If she seems to think you often overstep your bounds, then give her the money. But if you don't often do this sort of thing, then the surprise would be wonderful!

Some compromises would be (1) give her a gift certificate for this photographer (the photographer I use does sell gift certificates) or (2) go get the pictures taken, then wrap the proofs like a present; give them to her and let her pick "whatever she wants".

You're very thoughtful to do this for your daughter. I use a pricey, but amazing photographer, and scrimp on some other things; because I believe that in 30 years I won't remember what kind of clothes they wore everyday, but I certainly will still enjoy their beautiful baby pictures.

 

How about this....give her a little christmas gift bag now. In it, you could have:

1. A gift certificate to a children's clothing store to buy the outfits (I love the ones that The Children's Place puts out every year)
2. An appointment card from the photographer's studio
3. A picture frame to hold the 8X10 portrait that she orders (along with all the others)


Let her know that the whole "experience" is a gift from you and her dad. And you can go with her to the sitting.

 

Honestly, I think either way, it's a precious gift. If I really had to choose - I'd probably prefer the pictures.

 

QUOTE(moski @ Oct 10 2007, 09:53 AM) [snapback]443821[/snapback]
How about this....give her a little christmas gift bag now. In it, you could have:

1. A gift certificate to a children's clothing store to buy the outfits (I love the ones that The Children's Place puts out every year)
2. An appointment card from the photographer's studio
3. A picture frame to hold the 8X10 portrait that she orders (along with all the others)
Let her know that the whole "experience" is a gift from you and her dad. And you can go with her to the sitting.


I love this idea!

I would want to be the one to take them forsure. but I'm a big of a control freak!

Great gift idea!

 

I'm exactly opposite.....I would rather have someone surprise me with the pictures already done! I think that is the sweetest gift. Great idea,

Reyna

 

I say go for it... sounds like a really priceless gift you could give to her. Let us know how hard she cries when she sees the pics!!

 

QUOTE(moski @ Oct 10 2007, 09:53 AM) [snapback]443821[/snapback]
How about this....give her a little christmas gift bag now. In it, you could have:

1. A gift certificate to a children's clothing store to buy the outfits (I love the ones that The Children's Place puts out every year)
2. An appointment card from the photographer's studio
3. A picture frame to hold the 8X10 portrait that she orders (along with all the others)
Let her know that the whole "experience" is a gift from you and her dad. And you can go with her to the sitting.


I second this idea, I think it's great! You mention you are with them so much already, so I would definitely think you should let her be a part of this. She may already be dealing with feelings of missing some things you get to see. I know I would love that, but would definitely want to be there and pick out the clothes myself.

 

come get mine, and buy there outfits and have them taken i would love you forever. Great idea mom - go for it. My mom is with mine all day too and that would be a blessing to have if you ask me....