not sleeping, being defiant, getting into things

It has to be their age (28 months), at least I pray thats the problem and they will grow out of it.

We potty trained a month ago and while we really dont have any accidents we now have LOTS of night time waking. Something we never had before. They get up several times a night to pee, to see what Im doing, to try to con their selves into our bed.
We have a 3 bedroom house. Dh & I share, the twins share, and the baby (7 months) has her own. When one twin gets up and refuses to go back to bed it turns into a problem If I put them back in their room kicking and screaming they wake the other twin up and the baby (both those rooms are on the same side of our small house). If I allow them to sleep elsewhere (ala my bed till they fall asleep) they dont have that tantrum like behavior but they are also getting exactly what they want. Im not sure what to do here. Maybe I am going to just have to have a few nights of EVERYONE being awake or woken while I continue to put them back in thier own beds.... I guess I will also have to lock a potty in their room as well.
DD didnt go to bed till after 10pm last night even though she was put in bed at 8. and when she did go to bed it was in my room. she then woke up several times through the night and was up at 630am for the day. I can only imagine how lovely our day will be today.
I cant continue to get up 10x in a 6 hour period with the baby and the twins. This just isnt working.

the other problem I have is they are suddenly outright defiant . I ask/tell them to do something and they look right at me and tell me NO. They are not phased by time-out and I cant get them to stay there. I have even tried spanking (and I do not like that) but apparently I dont spank hard enough because they do the same thing they got spanked for 2 mintues later. Am I supposed to bring a carseat in and strap them in?

The other day I was trying to get the baby to sleep, while I was doing that they emptied my make-up bag and painted their faces and my bathroom floor. In the time it took me to clean that up they stacked containers and climbed up high and pulled out a bin of markers/paints/crayons etc and were on their way to making a second mess. No sooner did I get done with that one my DD was in the living room and had pulled a bottle of hand sanitizer out of my pumping bag that she was pouring everywhere.

They have plenty of toys and we get out of the house every single day (on a walk, to the park, a playgroup etc).

I cant take much more of this.

 

:hug: Jess! Yes, I think a lot of it is their age. Mine just turned 30 months and we are going some very similar things. Going to sleep at nap or bedtime has become an hour plus long process, horrible. We haven't even touched potty training yet. I have no interest in dealing with one more thing! :laughing: I think some of it is the fact that there are two of them. I swear, 90% of the "bad" behavior, tantrums, etc. come about because a) someone wants my attention while I'm already helping the other one, b) someone hit someone, c) someone took away a toy or has a toy that someone wants, d) they antagonize each other, and e) they copy each other and find each other's naughty behavior simply hilarious! When my oldest pulled something that he shouldn't have, he only had my DH's and my evil eye and firm voice - these two have each other and an older brother who can't help but laugh at some of their antics. So, while we, as parents aren't encouraging their negative behaviors - their twins and other siblings are, you know? Makes it really hard to stay on top of it!

As far as time out, do you have a wall you can turn a chair around to face? We put our boys in a chair for TO, if they don't stay, I turn the chair around so they cannot/will not climb out. I've found extreme consistency to be the trick with getting TO to work. We have gone back and forth to time out 6 or more times in the past, it is annoying, but in the end it pays off. Ex: Finley threw something the other day because he was mad (unacceptable), so I told him to pick it up and put it away. He just glared at me. Told him I'm counting to 3, if you don't pick it up and put it away by then, time out. He just glared at me, little smirk too. Got to 3, still glaring, off to time out. We repeated this SIX TIMES until the 7th attempt, he went to get the shoe and carried it to the shoe basket. I thanked him, hugged him, and moved on. We have done this multiple times - especially with Finley (seems to be a bit more stubborn and believes he's "right" all of the time! :laughing

I can't imagine having these two AND a 7-month-old, it is hard enough having an almost 6-year-old chatting my ear off and questioning every move I make! :rofl:

I think a lot of us are right there with you. 2 is a hard age, two 2-year-olds? Darn near impossible!

:youcandoit:

 

Jess, I hate to say this but Jori is right. The behavior you are describing sounds pretty typical. My two are 30 months and they have their times of being defiant and getting into everything. Mine are not PT'ed yet, so bedtime is not a big problem.
But what I do for bad/defiant behavior is giving them a TO in their rooms for a couple of minutes. It gives me time to calm down and it gives them time to chill out. When that's over I explain why they were there. It does not eradicate the behavior but I do find that the behavior is usually much better after some time in their room.

As for messes, I have mine help me clean up the messes they make.

I cannot imagine dealing with 2 yr old behavior and a little baby on top of it at all. Hang in there Momma, they will get past this. They have to right? Other people's children survive age 2 and their parents do, even though some days I wonder!

 

I'm right there with you Jess. This stinks majorly.

 

Yes, it has been worse lately. I don't give in at all on bedtime. Never in my bed or bedroom. Limits on nighttime routine length. All of this behavior is just testing limits in my opinion. If you give in sometimes, they know that the limit is different from what you are trying to impose and they can get a better outcome. If you don't want to have them in your bed, the solution is to not let them in your bed. Period. Not when it's convenient for you, not when you want to cuddle, not when you don't want to wake the baby. Of course, it's hard to actually do that, and you have to decide how much inconvenience you want. But that's the answer.

On the daytime stuff, I have a lot of luck with taking away toys, privileges, etc. That's all that seems to faze them. If I do timeouts, I stand next to them and keep putting them back until they sit still, telling them each time that their timeout will be longer. I was on the fence about spanking, but I'm convinced it does nothing for us. For me, I'm doing it because I'm angry, and it doesn't faze them.