Not really sure what to think...

So my girls have been attending a new preschool/daycare for a little over a month. We really like it so far, the girls are happy, the teachers are nice, etc. Well, tonight when Hailey was going potty she asked me why little boys don't sit down to potty. I told her they potty different than girls and asked her how she knew boys did not sit. After a bit of questioning, it seems that one little boy did not close the bathroom door or something like that. She also asked what that was on his bottom... (I'm assuming his penis). I was a little taken back that she was close enough to see that. Now, I really don't know what to think. I used to work at a daycare and know that sometimes a kid will run into the bathroom and not close the door and somebody might follow him/her in there. However, I made sure that the boys did not follow girls and vice versa... I also know that if I had boy/girl twins she probably would already know the big difference in boys/girls. I know when I was younger, I saw my little brother naked. But, being that it is a child I don't even know and that it happened at school, it just doesn't sit right with me. I don't know if they weren't being supervised, or if this was just a one-time incident. They won't go back until Monday so I'm trying to decide what/if anything to tell the teacher...
Having only girls, this topic has never even crossed my mind! Sorry if I sound absolutely insane...

 

When I taught preschool(almost four years ago..WOW!)...the school I was at had regular bathrooms-two stalls, doors, etc. The first school I taught at(eight years ago), has the bathrooms in the classroom. So if children had to go-they went in there-with the door open-or mostly at least. It is also where they had to wash hands for lunch/snack and brush their teeth before nap. Chances are pretty good-someone was always going to the bathroom.

I am not sure what the set up is at their school. But I would mention your concerns to the teacher and go from there. It may end up bothering you even more if you don't.

I have boy twins and a daughter, so we have talked about it openly. I think now may be a good time to talk about the differences between boys and girls. I think she was being curious-and brought her questions to her parents-that's awesome. Kids talk. She knew to talk to you about it vs Johnny on the playground(eventhough they probably still will).

 

This is one of the things I was wondering. My sister actually suggested the same. The bathrooms are in the room. It's also entirely possible I guess that somebody ran out of the room with his pants down...

I think I will mention it just to see if she knows exactly what happened.

Thank you so much for your thoughts!

 

Peace of mind is always good! And, maybe something happened and the teacher wasn't aware, and now she is. Or, it could be nothing as well.

As an aside, we probably started talking about boys/girls around late 2's, beginning 3's. Whenever they started asking, or were becoming more aware of it all. I wanted them to know the right words, etc. Nicholas will periodically come up to me and go, "Mommy, what do you and Annabella have?" Lol. I tell him...and then he butchers the word! :laughing:

 

It can't hurt to ask the teacher about it if you're really concerned, but I have to admit it wouldn't have even pinged on my radar beyond answering the direct question in an age appropriate way. ardon:

 

This exactly. One of my best friends has a little boy a year younger than the girls and they've all gotten out of bathing suits into clothes in the same room. As a mom of only girls I thought it was a good opportunity to talk about differences between boys and girls.

 

It must be because I have b/g twins that it strikes me as odd that you would be bothered by this.

 

At our daycare, in my twins current room, they have an open bathroom with changing tables on one side and potties on the other. At this age while they are potty training, they do not bar anyone from using the potty if someone else is in there. It's to help them learn to go when they need to go. In preschool, they start teaching privacy and not sharing the bathroom. I would just ask what their policy is. I know in preschool at our center, the kids are reminded to shut the door and respect privacy.

Oh and I agree this is a good time to just tell your girls the differences between boys and girls.

 

My boys’ preschool has 2 bathrooms in their room. Often the kids don’t close the door or only partially close the door when going potty... depends on the age. The teachers line them up for potty/diaper changes (age ranges from 2.5 -4.5). And I’ve been in the room when my boys are getting changed and they usually have at least one kid hanging around or going potty. And some kids need more help getting dressed/cleaned up so they need the teacher to help and personally for this I would prefer the door was open.

It really doesn’t bother me. At this age it isn’t a huge deal but it does open the door to talking about girl vs boy body parts. A topic of conversation we have at home on a regular basis.

As a side note and a not so fun topic of discussion… my parents as teacher’s coordinator brought up talking about “boy” parts and “girl” parts. She reminded me that it is extremely important to talk to you kids about both boy and girl parts. It is never too early. And to always name all parts correctly (not pee pee or wee wee etc). She went to training on sex abuse that involved interviews with child molesters. When asked how they choose their victim the answer was they looked for kids who did not know the correct name for private parts. They try to avoid kids who knew the proper name for body parts because these kids had been talked to by their parents and were more likely to report anything amiss to their parents because often the parents had also discussed good touching and bad touching. And while it may not keep your child completely safe it is another tool to give your children. I hope nothing bad happens to anyone’s child but unfortunately we live in a world with not so nice people.

She told me that she told a mom of a little girl about teaching the proper names. At her next visit the girl was singing a new version of head shoulders knees and toes … head shoulders proper girl part name toes while pointing to all the correct body parts. I about died laughing when she told me that story.

 

My boys' school has a shared bathroom in their classroom. There's about 4 toilets. Two small toilets and two larger ones with stools to stand on. The kids go when they need to go and the door is always open so the teachers can monitor them. Boys and girls go together. Mine never questioned why girls sit. I don't think any of the girls there ever questioned it. In fact it's a learning experience for them to understand the differences between boys and girls. No one has ever complained about it either. It all seems rather natural to me. When they go to the 3-1/2 year old classroom and up, there's two bathrooms. It still does not matter who goes in which, but at least there's privacy if they close the door. It honestly doesn't bother me. My boys have seen me pee many times, and I surely don't stand up. Cameron these days is much more interested in my boobs for some reason. I have a hard time keeping him off my boobs actually and he stares at women when changing in the changing room at the pool. That gets a bit awkward, so I change as quickly as I can and get out of there fast. But, otherwise, he knows the difference between girls and boys.

 

I'd ask the teacher if you are bothered by it. Find out what their policy is. I personally don't think it's a big deal. They are still so young and innocent. My friends have little boys around the same age and we have always changed their diapers, etc. in front of each other. Sometimes they look, but they haven't really ever mentioned it. The older boys have ask about my girls and we just tell them that boys and girls are different and they seem satisfied with that answer. Eventually, they'll be curious and want to play, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" gameI think it's awesome that she came to you and asked. I think it's a great age to start talking about the differences between boys and girls. I think it becomes more awkward the older they are for them and you.

 

I don't think it's a big deal either (but I have b/g twins who take baths together and don't even seem to care that they are made differently). But yes if it bothers you I'd definitely ask that they make sure to close the door (although if some kids need help it's not always practical).

 

At our preschool, there's a bathroom right in the main classroom. There is no door (though you'd really have to be craning your head to see in), and there are two small toilets side by side. I have no idea whether they discourage boys and girls from going together because, having b/g twins who run around naked constantly, I don't give a rat's patootie. ^_^ However, Ivy did come home one time with a very! important! discovery!: "Mommy! Ellie's vagina is different from mine!" OK thanks sweetie... :wacko:

 

Thank you ladies. I guess it has just never really occurred to me. I'm not against her knowing a difference, so please don't think that (and I don't think anybody said that anyways). The last time they were in a daycare was before they were totally potty trained so it was always a non-issue.

After I typed that last night, I thought about and actually felt kind of silly. It's not that I was really "bothered" just a little taken aback that the question just came up all of a sudden.

Thank you again for your insight!