Not finding out gender til 30 weeks

Here's my thinking. I go in on the 25th for the anatomical ultrasound (my OB keeps calling it the anomaly ultrasound, which sounds scary). With the twins, we found out they were boys at 20 weeks and then immediately got into debates with people on names, and discussion on hard two boys was going to be, etc. Well, unfortunately they were born at 22 1/2 wks and didn't survive, so now I'm thinking that I don't want to find out too early what this one is. I do want to know, eventually, before the birth, but I'm holding back on getting too attached (which is normal!), and so I don't want to know the gender before he/she reaches a more survivable stage. I haven't discussed this with DH yet, because one of the WORST offenders prior was his dad, who insisted on getting one named after him!

And people are going to ask, are you going to find out the gender? so I'm thinking I'll just say no without explaining that I don't want to know YET...I can always pretend that I found out by accident.

So I know that some people find out, and some people don't, and some people don't want to know but the tech slips up and mentions it, and I'm wondering if anyone else has waited to find out later?

PS. Due to other factors, I'm high risk, so I'll probably be getting lots more u/s in case the baby is "shy" and doesn't show off in this one.

 

:hug: I'm sorry about the loss of your boys. I've never found out the genders of any of mine. It's kind of fun to be surprised if you want to wait It does drive people crazy, but I just tell them that it's one of life's only true surprises and I love DH announcing the gender at delivery!

 

Congratulations on your pregnancy - I hope it is a healthy and happy one!

We went both ways with our 3 living children.

With dd, our first - we didn't find out until the moment she was born. That was really, really fun. I did have several late ultrasounds with her as I developed pre eclampsia. It was hard at times to say "No, I really don't want to know!" but I'm glad we waited. It was very special.

I had a very early loss in between our dd and our twins, at 9 weeks. We did not/do not know if that baby was a boy or girl.

With our twin boys we found out at 14 weeks. We had over 80 ultrasounds with them, and this time we just wanted to know.

I liked it both ways equally.

 

we did find out wiht the twins. JUst finding out there were 2 babies instead of 1 was enough of a suprise for us at the time,
With this baby, as much as DH would like to know he has agreed to wait with me and find out the gender on delivery day Im really looking forward to the suprise and hearing him make the announcement!

 

I have lots of friends who found out the gender and then simply chose not to tell anyone else. However, I've always found that even prior to knowing the gender I have family throwing out both girl and boy name suggestions. My advice is to make your list of names, pick a boy and girl name, and when you find out the gender have the name ready so that you can simply inform the family what the name decision is, end of story. I would hope with your previous loss that your family and friends would be more sensitive and not argue over a comparitively petty thing like what the name is. I'm so sorry for your twin loss, that's a very difficult thing to go through I'm sure. And I hope you have a very healthy full term pregnancy this time with a healthy happy baby to help heal your loss.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your twins. I'm wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy. You can always tell other people to mind their own business! We did find out the sexes but didn't finalize name choices until after they were born. DH shut people up by telling them a ridiculous names, like Mary and Juana.

 

Thanks everybody.