Not eating meat or veggies

I used to have really good eaters, but now every meal except breakfast is a struggle. For breakfast we usually have yogurt with fruit, and a waffle or pancake. They eat pretty much all their food.

For the other meals though, they will no longer eat meat or veggies. All they want is bread of some sort, pasta, cheese, avocado, and fruit. My old tricks don't work anymore either, like hiding veggies in mac and cheese. Bea won't even eat things like fishsticks or chicken tenders. They won't even eat mashed potatoes anymore! Adding to the problem is that Ainsley isn't being as picky as Bea, but if she sees Bea reject her food, then she rejects too. I should add, most times they won't even try their food, they just say "no, no!" and/or spit it out.

I have been serving the main dish (meat and veg) first, see what happens, then if they don't eat any of it, give them something else like a piece of cheese or open a can of Gerber ravioli, then they get fruit for dessert.

I see from what I am doing that they are hungry, as they do eat the alternate food, so that's not the problem. Should I stop with the alternate food, and should I also not give them fruit if they did not eat their meal? They are not underweight, so that is not a concern. I am starting to dread lunch and dinner, as I have no idea if they will eat what I am serving. Even old standards are being rejected.

 

Not sure if it will help your situation, but wanted to recommend a great book I read, Child of Mine, by Ellyn Satter.

I only read the 100 or so pages that specifically dealt with toddler (12-36mos) eating, but I felt it gave a great perspective on toddler's eating habits. Her main point was division of responsibility when it came to eating:

*Parents are responsible for choosing what is served and when it is served
*Kids are responsible for choosing if and how much they eat

When I let go of the job of "getting them to eat" I started to enjoy mealtime a lot more...added bonus: they started eating. I'm not saying it's foolproof; we've still got one kid who'll eat anything and one who's a bit more cautious, but for the most part they eat.

 

My girls are almost 3 and have been like that forever. They will starve, seriously, before giving in. They are prone to hypoglycemia (get dizzy, weak, shaky, etc) if they don't eat regularly, so I can't let them miss more than 2-3 meals. I tried eat this or nothing, but they ate nothing for 3 meals straight and then made themselves so sick I had to give some milk and crackers. I'm starting to think it is some sort of texture sensitivity or oral aversion because they are so bad. We don't make them special food, but we let them have dry bread if they don't want anything else and they frequently choose that.

Did your girls have issues transitioning to solids in the first place? My girls had a lot of problems. I think the last time they ate veggies was when they were eating baby/toddler food which all has a uniform look, texture, and taste. Now they won't touch that either because they think they are too big. They will usually eat certain types of chicken nuggets, but that's about all as far as meat goes.

 

My kids are always going through phases where they won't eat anything, even their favorites. We had some luck with foods they could help make, one of their favorites was mini pizzas. We'd try new things when they were being picky, sometimes I think the just got bored of their favorites, I hope it passes quickly, it's grustrating to make food and have them not eat it.

 

QUOTE(MJXplus2 @ Apr 22 2007, 06:35 PM) [snapback]230180[/snapback]
Did your girls have issues transitioning to solids in the first place? My girls had a lot of problems. I think the last time they ate veggies was when they were eating baby/toddler food which all has a uniform look, texture, and taste. Now they won't touch that either because they think they are too big. They will usually eat certain types of chicken nuggets, but that's about all as far as meat goes.


No, no problems switching to table food. In fact, Bea "forced" the transition on me, just started refusing baby foods. Ainsley was a little slower switching, but did it fine.

 

I am hoping it's just a phase. I will check out Child of Mine. I've heard it referenced on TS, sounds like a good book. It's just so frustrating that they won't even try their food, they just reject it right out.

 

THis is SOO normal for this age!! My boys did the same thing (well W&I did it...Grant never stopped eatting).

OUr pedi told us when we took W&I in for thier 18 month check-up taht when they turned 2 (or pretty close to it) taht they would stop eating. He said taht we should jsut give thiem thier milk and out them to bed and that after a while they would get tired of waking up hungary. He also said that sometimes if you give them something else taht that would be OK too (btw they LIVED on those Gerber Ravioloi bowls for over a year...sometimes that is all they would eat). BUt he said that most of the time you should just give them a cup of milk and tell them taht they can eat this dinner that you are offering and that is it.

This is just a phase that they will grow out of. Now my boys are 5 and will eat just about anything I give them (tonight we had a buffalo roast...mmmmm). Just make sure they are getting several cups of milk in them during the day and give them snacks like Cheerios and fruit so they are still getting some nutrition in the day.

 

I would continue to serve them whatever you make for dinner and just make sure that something that is on their plate is something that they will eat. And, if they want more of the thing that they want then they have to try something else on the plate. I would NOT make them a special meal after they reject their dinner. They have no incentive for eating what is served to them because they know there is something else coming. I hope that they get out of this phase quickly.

 

I also love the "Child of Mine" book. It's got great advice. Following her suggestions, we continue to offer the vegetables and other things they don't want to eat at every meal, always including something they WILL eat (like bread or cheese). Occasionally they shock the heck out of us and eat some vegetables. The idea is that you are continuing to make it available to them and they are getting familiar with it on a daily basis. Supposedly, they will eventually eat it. Can't wait for that day!

Michelle

 

Just wanted to echo that I really liked Child of Mine too (although we haven't seriously had to put it into practice yet). I manage not to stress at most meals, but at dinner I still stress if they don't eat much, because I am afraid of them being hungry in the middle of the night. Mine have not hit the super-picky stage yet, but I'm trying to start with the "this is what I'm offering, either eat it or don't" approach now, in hopes that they'll be used to it by then.

 

kelly - since they are getting one good meal each day (breakfast), i wouldn't worry about it too much. many days mine only really eat a lot at one meal or maybe two - the others (3 meals and 1 snack) they just pick. like yours, mine aren't little (well, cameron is pretty thin, but he is my better eater so i don't worry about him), so i try not to stress about it. i definitely don't want to start any food struggles, esp with dd, as i know that can set up a lifetime of bad habits. so, when she says "all done" i say "that's fine, you don't have to eat any more, but cameron is still eating". chances are that she'll eat a few more bites after that - or often when i go to start cleaning up the dishes they'll eat then. which makes me think it's a power struggle thing and i'm trying not to play that game! i agree with the pps - make sure you serve at least one thing you know they'll like and leave it at that - no substitutions, no extras if they don't eat what they are served. good luck!

 

I was reading this thread again and thought of something else that's helped us recently -- eating with them and eating the same thing that you are serving them. (Child of Mine really harps on this.) We can't always do it, but at least for breakfast, and for dinner once or twice a week, we all eat together. It's even better if they can serve themselves from the same dish that you're serving yourself from (or if you let them take things off your plate, though that may be a bad habit too).

The other day Amy had not touched her broccoli, and I picked a piece off my plate and very deliberately ate it (but not verbally making a big deal of it), and when I snuck a glance at her, she was putting a piece of broccoli in her mouth. :icon_biggrin:

The hardest thing is not getting emotionally invested in it. That's also an argument in favor of feeding them whatever you happen to be eating, because there isn't the same sense of "I made this just for you and now you're not eating it!"

 

I am not a short order cook. I made that HUGE mistake with dd and we all are trying to change that to this day! I made dinner and that is what everyone eats or goes hungry. I do try to make one side dish I know the kids will eat like their fav pasta, potatoes, etc. But I also make them try the meat and veggies too. It took Zach almost a year before he decided he likes meats! And this spring they LOVE watermelon, cantaloupe! Last year they would not touch it! The boys usually make up eating the next meal when they miss one. I have to say it is EASIER with 2nd and 3rd kids to let them go to bed hungry! I know its the right thing to do to hopefully help them to make good food choices for life! B)

 

I'm dealing with the same thing with Alexis! She's always been my picky one (Alana will eat just about anything) but lately, she just doesn't seem to want what we give her. Friday night, I made them mac and cheese and she just pushed her plate away and said "all done." So she ended up not eating any dinner. Then, after church on Sunday, we had a roast. I put some meat and carrots on her plate and she pushed it away and started crying for a banana. We finally gave in to that request b/c Sundays are really hard on them anyway.

I was raised that you ate what was cooked, or you didn't eat. My kids are going to have to do the same. I figure if she's hungry enough, she'll eat what's in front of her. But that attitude certainly doesn't help my ears stop bleeding when she's screaming and crying b/c her horrible mother had the nerve to put MEAT in front of her!

 

With my first two, I was always making sure they ate SOMETHING at every meal even if I had to jump through hoops to find something they'd eat. Once they twins came along, I don't have time for that anymore. Now everybody gets what I or dh fix and it's eat or don't. Whatever. My almost 3yr old goes to bed with only having drunk his milk at dinner. He rarely eats anything we serve for dinner. But if we serve it for lunch, he'll eat it! <_< In your case, I'd offer everything you plan to offer on the plate in small portions. I usually give the drink about halfway through. Let them eat what they will. If they eat all of something and it's clear they aren't going try anything else, go ahead and give a little more. Act like you could care less whether they eat or not. Have meals and snacks at set times every day so there's no special snack if they didn't eat their meal an hour ago. I'd also only offer water between meals. After a few days, they'll catch on. Might not even take that long! Another thing, you're supposed to look at toddler eating over several days or a week to see if they are relatively balanced, not a certain amount of each thing every day. Like a pp said, you do the offering, they do the eating. hth!

 

Thanks for your advice everyone. I have been trying to relax and not encourage or really do anything while they are eating. Like tonight at dinner, we had chicken, potatoes, and green beans. I just served it and ate my food and let them eat or not eat. I didn't say "Bea can you eat some chicken?" or anytihng like that. The only thing we did was DH had ketchup and he introduced them to it. Bea enjoyed dipping her food in it and licking it off. Not sure if she actually ate anything, but hey, ketchup is a vegetable, right? . Ainsley actually ate a couple green beans, so I consider it a success.