Not coping well

Everyone keeps telling me what a great job i am doing with the twins. I honestly don't think so. Sure they are fed and clean but .......I guess I always feel like I could do better.....the house isn't as clean as i'd like it........actually there is stuff EVERYWHERE.

People keep giving us clothes but they are odds and ends and I cant seem to make a proper outfit out of much and it clogs up my house.
The kids aren't napping or feeding like they used to and DH is working long hours (dont even want to talk about the relationship issues). And a lot of the time I feel like I could just SCREAM.

I got the gumption to get everything ready to go up the street to the market today - even got a friend to come with me and what happens...... battery is flat in the car. Friend goes home, inlaws come and jump the car and I have to get a new battery... there goes the money I was gonna shop with....... and the help......so I just came home and bawled my eyes out.

I just feel like I m snowed under and have no life...... I love my kids but MAN, this is tough

Makes me think I am a terrible mother for not being grateful every day that i have 2 healthy babies....

thanks for listening/reading

 

[SIZE=18pt]Did you come to my house and suck my brain? That is exactly how I feel! Please know that yes you are doing a GREAT job! Healthy, happy babies are what you are achieving not a perfect house or runway ready wear. Those coos and babbles will tell you what a good job you are doing, but yes it feels as though things are piling up but I have decided who cares!? Look at my avatar that is my bedroom see the mess behind me but oh look at those smiles! If someone comes over and is offended by my cluttery mess, they can volunteer to clean it up! My girls outgrew all those cute just alike outfits and we are well into the handme down pile so I am just happy when something is on them free of prunes, spitup, or today snot. So here is a hug :hug99: now go play with your babies! [/SIZE]

 

I have felt like that too and vented here alot. Eeryone asured me that I am a good mom and that it will get better. And you know what it sure did. i can not even remember those days anymore. It started getting better from 4 months onwards. Just hang in there and yes of course you are doing a great job. Everything else can wait. Dont feel guilty about anything. Get as much help as you can, and try for some "alone me time". :hug99:

 

Please dont be so hard on yourself. Why is it us mothers sometimes feel like we aren't doing such a great job? Your babies are happy and healthy and thats all that matters. I too also felt the same way as you, but please remember things will start to get easier and life will start feeling normal again. You are doing a wonderful job and you will start feeling better soon. Its all so worth it. My babies are starting to thank me by planting mushy wet kisses on my face. It truly is so rewarding when they do things like that.
Please try to remember that the hard times will not be forever.

 

I have just now started to make the bed again...and mine are almost 11 months old!!! I am so sorry you are having a tough time. Like the pps said, who cares if the house is a mess..can you stuff some things under a bed for awhile? Hang in there. :hug99: You are doing a terrific job.

 

Oh wow, I was there. :hug99: :hug99: :hug99: It does get better! Life falls into a routine, you learn to care about the house less (or at least I did), and you start fighting less with dh.

 

:hug99: You are doing a great job so please don't be so hard on yourself. Its a lot of work take care of two newborns and other things have to slide (including the house). You do what you can do and then the rest you have to let go. Are people giving you hand me downs or new cute, impractical outfits? If new, try to exchange them. Some stores will let you exchange without a receipt. If they are hand me downs, donate them or bring them to a conseignment (sp?) shop to get them out of your house. We have wonderful friends who have given us a lot of hand me downs. Some of the stuff is SO cute, but we are never going to wear it (I don't dress my girls in dresses often). Sometimes as I'm going thru the bags, I immediately make up a donation bag because I don't want it cluttering my house.

Do you have any girls in your neighborhood who would want to be a mommy's helper? Even if they hang with the babies (while they are laying on an activity mat or swinging in their swings), while you straighten up the house (if its really bothering you), that might help you out. Or can you hire someone to come in and clean twice a month? GL and hang in there... and vent to us anytime. Thats what we are here for.

 

You are doing a wonderful job, the mommy of twins is one tough job that not everyone can handle and you are handling it. I have a difficult time with disappointment, to have a sitter and have some much needed you time and lose that is enough to send anyone over the edge. How are you doing on a day to day basis?

 

Mine are about the same actual age as yours except you went closer to term. It seems like I've been waiting forever for them to get to a point where I could just take a shower without one crying for me. I know exactly how you feel about wanting to get out but being intimidated to do it alone. I went back to work and that has helped me so much because I have days where I am on my own and the babies are cared for and I can do things.

Hang in there. I keep telling myself the same thing. They will be sitting up soon and that has to make things better. As for the clothes that people are giving you, just sift through, keep what you want and donate the rest. I keep sticking it in my attic and I'm going to pass it on to someone who has a singleton

My house is a wreck. The dog needs a bath. My car is filthy. I need my hair cut and none of my clothes fit. I think all this is normal with twinfants!

I really think that the coming of spring and summer have to help too. Once we can get out without the constant worry of all the colds and bugs (not that there still won't be some, but you KWIM) and we can go for walks and swims and such... it has to get better. Having a baby in the winter is rough but having two is torture!! Getting out in the cold with two babies is a lot of work and worry.

:hug99: PM me anytime if you want to share, vent, or unload!

 

QUOTE(benderboys @ Feb 29 2008, 11:43 AM) [snapback]646118[/snapback]
I have just now started to make the bed again...and mine are almost 11 months old!!!

:rotflmbo: I just started doing this as well and let me tell you, I'm walking around as if I had just been elected president or something! So proud! I agree with what everyone else is saying. Your kids are alive, fed, maybe even clean. I'm assuming they don't have any burns, black eyes, or the like. That means you are doing a FANTASTIC job! Please know that. And please know that you are RRRRIIIIIGHT there at that turning point. Just hold on, mama! It will get better.

Now, here's the part you won't like. There will ALWAYS be days where your battery dies, both babies are screaming, you forgot the diaper bag, and you have no help. And usually, it's right after you decide that "hey, I can do this". Real bubble burster. I think the worse for me was the day I went to "rescue" my mom who's car broke down only to have my car break as well at the busiest intersection in Houston. I have no idea how, but I got both babies and a Duoglider out of an Expedition in about 30 seconds. Those things just happen and you're going to cry and that's ok. Those are the times I tell my husband I'm living from bedtime to bedtime. Just hang in there and don't feel bad for venting. :hug99:

 

:hug99: :hug99: Hang in there- you definitely are not alone, in fact, if you didn't feel this way, I'd think you were from another planet! :laughing: There are always going to be days like this, I feel them often. But then, you'll have days where things work out smoothly, and you just love everything! I feel you about having no life- DH and I just decided that I need to get out for a class or something on the evenings because I have no friends and being in the house with two babies whom I love and adore, still leave me a little crazy by the end of the day! :wacko: The one thing that usually helps me stay grounded though, is the thought that 18 years really does fly by- and they won't be my sweet little babies much longer. They'll end up teenagers who think I'm a crazy old lady, then they'll move out of my house and I won't get to see them every morning!! When I think of those things, I always want to go squeeze those cute little boys and never let go!!

Hang in there- you're doing beautifully!

 

I hope it makes you feel better to know that we've all felt that way. Truth be told, the first 6 months or so was just maintenance for me. make sure everyone is fed, diapered, clothed, napped....trying to keep my head above water. Somewhere along the line the clouds parted, angels sang, the sun shone and we were all HAPPY!! Even the worst of days now is NOTHING compared to the trials of the first months. My babies are an absolute joy to me now. Please hang on, and know that you are so normal. Someday you can post an encouraging post for someone who is in your shoes now. Big hugs!

Reyna

 

Check your PTs.

 

QUOTE(serranoboys @ Feb 29 2008, 10:22 AM) [snapback]646445[/snapback]
:rotflmbo: I just started doing this as well and let me tell you, I'm walking around as if I had just been elected president or something! So proud! I agree with what everyone else is saying. Your kids are alive, fed, maybe even clean. I'm assuming they don't have any burns, black eyes, or the like. That means you are doing a FANTASTIC job! Please know that. And please know that you are RRRRIIIIIGHT there at that turning point. Just hold on, mama! It will get better.

Now, here's the part you won't like. There will ALWAYS be days where your battery dies, both babies are screaming, you forgot the diaper bag, and you have no help. And usually, it's right after you decide that "hey, I can do this". Real bubble burster. I think the worse for me was the day I went to "rescue" my mom who's car broke down only to have my car break as well at the busiest intersection in Houston. I have no idea how, but I got both babies and a Duoglider out of an Expedition in about 30 seconds. Those things just happen and you're going to cry and that's ok. Those are the times I tell my husband I'm living from bedtime to bedtime. Just hang in there and don't feel bad for venting. :hug99:


I couldn't have said it better. Hang in there, the good days WILL start to outweigh the bad days...SOON!
:hug99: :hug99: :hug99:

 

It's so true what you say but believe me you are an excellent MOM! We all have days and times like that. There are somedays when I feel like I cannot do a thing right and the house looks like a war zone (DH did agree to cleaning lady to help out). Hang in there!

 

What you are feeling so totally normal. I think you are doing a wonderful job with them. If they are healthy and happy than you are doing something right.

As for making you right, could you maybe see if your SO or an inlaw could take them for a few hours. so you can have YOU time to either clean up or just relax.

I get that often, mainly so I can clean. Our laundry gets backed up all the time.