Normal Bedtimes?

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by Lindae73, Dec 7, 2009.

  1. Lindae73

    Lindae73 Well-Known Member

    My husband's sister and her husband do not have a set time for their 8 month old.
    I go crazy with them trying to convince my husband that our babies are going to bed
    too early. Since mine were 5 months old I have lived by HSHHC book and put them
    to bed earlier rather than later! It has always been true for us that even if
    we put them to bed at 8pm they ALWAYS wake at 6am anyway and then they are grumpy
    because they did not sleep enough! So, please share with me your sleep schedules.
    Here is mine-
    6am UP and milk (DD even starts chattering around 5:30 alot but I do not get them
    til 6!)
    Nap at 9 (usually one hour to 1 1/2hrs)
    Nap again between 1 and 1:30 (this nap is give or take, sometimes they only sleep
    20 minutes!)
    Bath between 5 and 5:30
    Milk and bedtime between 6 and 6:30

    I can not imagine keeping them up later!? They do so well on this schedule. Sometimes
    the advise of singleton parents really gets under my skin. They have no idea what it
    is like with two. Ugh!
     
  2. Beth*J

    Beth*J Well-Known Member

    Mine are nearly 2 years old, but our bedtime has only changed by 1/2 hour. For a long time I put them to bed at 7 p.m. and now they go to bed at 7:30. But, recently, one DD has been asking to go to bed between 6:30-6:45. We let her go to bed that early and she sleeps for at least 12 hours and last weekend she slept for 14 hours! Babies and toddlers need their sleep. Putting them to bed early is a good thing.
     
  3. silver_stardust

    silver_stardust Well-Known Member

    First off I have to say that stick with whatever works for you! You know your babies the best and if they are happy and healthy then you must be doing something right! And you're absolutely right! Singleton parents do not know what it's like with two. I follow the 2-3-4 schedule modified to our needs. It's worked for us since the boys were about 7 months. Our schedule is like this:

    7:30-8am wake
    1st nap is 2 hours from wake time so sometimes varies what time they go down. (usually sleep 1.5-2 hours)
    2nd nap is about 2.5 hours after waking from 1st nap (usually sleep 1-1.5 hours)
    7:30 ready for bed - up to bed by 8:00pm

    So it seems that I put my kiddos to bed two hours later than you but this schedule works for us. My DH works till 6:30pm after working 12 hours so he doesn't get much time with them. If your schedule is working than why fix what's not broke!! .... until changes are needed! LOL!
     
  4. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    You have to do what works best for your family and children. I don't think 6:00-6:30 is too early for bed, if that bedtime works for everyone then that's all that matters.
    My two go to bed between 7:30-8 and are usually up around 7:30-8 the next day. Babies and toddlers do need their sleep, so I would keep your schedule going as long as it works for everyone!
     
  5. busymomof3

    busymomof3 Well-Known Member

    My boys will be one of friday and they have always gone to bed at 8pm but they sleep till 8:30-9am so that works for me. When I got back to work in January that might change a little and they may start going to bed by 7 since they will have to be up by 7-730 for day care. I agree with everyone that if it isn't broken don't fix it! I bet it gives you a few hours to relax in the evening before bed!
     
  6. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    my girls often went to bed between 6:00pm & 6:30pm when they were younger. if it works - keep doing it! we eventually had a really good 7:00pm - 7:00am thing going & then at the beginning of october, when we were on vacation, they started sleeping in until 8:00am. when we got home, we just went with it & pushed their bedtime back to 8:00pm. having that extra time in the morning to sleep was super freakin awesome, but i wouldn't have made the switch if they hadn't led the way. last week we switched to one nap a day, so now they're back to going to bed around 7:00pm/7:30pm.

    occasionally, we would keep them up late, if we were going to a friend's place for the evening or something & they would do fine with that - you're right though, it didn't change their wake up time! so generally it had to be a pretty good event to get me to go. ;)
     
  7. trudyhm@att.net

    [email protected] Well-Known Member

    Mine have always wanted an early bedtime. I think they'd like to go to bed at 5:00 pm if I'd let them! They go down around 6:30 pm and get up from 6:30 - 7:15 am. We go to bed early and get up early so this works for our household. They also take a nap from 11:00am - 1:30pm. Don't worry that your babies sleep more by going to bed earlier. I think it makes them less fussy/fewer tantrums and keeps their immune systems strong. Plus, you get a nice evening with your husband!
     
  8. sullivanre

    sullivanre Well-Known Member

    Mine are programmed to wake between about 5:45 and 6:30. Unless they go to bed at like 10PM, that's when they wake.

    Right now we do
    7PM bed time
    5:45-6:30 wake time
    10AM nap (hopefully until 12 or 12:30)
     
  9. Aeliza

    Aeliza Well-Known Member

    I'm a late riser and I go to bed late. I can't help it. I even found out that as a baby, I never got to sleep until after 12 midnight. It drove my mother crazy cause she was a morning person and liked to get to sleep earlier. She had work the next day and I was making her tired. My whole family is used to this kind of schedule. It just doesn't work for me.

    So from a very early age, I got them used to going to bed between 9pm and 10pm. They sleep about 12 hours every night and have been mostly since they were about 4 months old (maybe 4-1/2?). There were some times that one of them had some rough nights, but it has been normally very good with 2 naps in between. Now it's one nap and they still sleep great. They wake up between 9 and 10am. Occasionally, one will wake up earlier and I'll just go in and lay him down again. Sometimes I'll just let him play and not go in if it's close enough to wake-up time, but not enough for me to get up. Often he'll go back to sleep until I'm ready to get up, or he'll just stay and chat to his crib toys. If it's around 8am (which is very rare either will wake up at this time), I usually can't really go back to sleep, but with one awake and one asleep at that time, it doesn't work out. I don't want to wake the other by letting one out to play, so like I said, I'll just let him stay in his room and play until it's time to get up. Usually they wake up around the same time though.

    My mother actually told me she likes this schedule. She can sleep in when she visits. My brother finds it funny I did that cause he'd have liked to sleep in too when he had the chance. His kids wake up close to 6am. But his schedule works best for him since he likes to see his kids before he goes to work.

    The point is, you work with a schedule that fits your life. If their current schedule works well for you, then stick with it. It can be changed if you don't like it. If you want them to wake up later and go to sleep later, then slowly move their bedtimes later and later until you are happy with it. If they wake up early for you, lay them down in their beds as if they had just woken up in the middle of the night. They may not always go back to sleep, but they will catch on eventually that it's not time to wake up adn they'll start sleeping longer. They will adjust...just go slow.
     
  10. Specky

    Specky Well-Known Member

    I am also a big believer in following their lead.

    Ours go to bed at 6pm...we've tried to keep them up later, but there is NO way!
    They get up between 4-530am and go for a 2hr (usually) morning nap at 8am
    They have an afternoon nap that is 1-2hrs at 1pm...

    Many of my friends thought they sleep too much...but it's what works for them.

    You know your babies...
     
  11. Fran27

    Fran27 Well-Known Member

    Honestly... it doesn't matter. In the next few months their schedule will be all over the place when you switch to one nap anyway. Mine always went to bed at 7pm, then they stayed up as late as 9pm before we switched to one nap, then it went back to 6pm, and now it's still between 6 and 7pm.

    Just do what works.
     
  12. Lindae73

    Lindae73 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your input everyone! :) This is a hard topic for us because my husband was home with me for
    almost 9 months because he had lost his job. He saw them everyday all day! Now he is back to work (for the
    past 3 months) and he barely sees them because he doesn't get home until 7 every night. When he was home
    it was easy to convince him that the early bedtime was good because he had to deal with how grumpy they
    were! Now, he does not have to handle them all day so naturally he thinks they should stay up later.

    Honestly I would change it but I don't think they are ready yet. A few months ago we tried to change
    their wake up time to later by putting them to bed later but it failed horribly! They still woke up
    at 5:30 in the morning! I'm afraid to try it again because I'm the only one here now to handle it and
    it's hard enough NOW! How can my DH forget just how hard it is to take care of two?

    Last night DD fell asleep in my arms at 5:45. I put her poor little buns to bed! I have a hard time
    keeping them up when they so obviously want to sleep!!!!!!!!
     
  13. TwinLove

    TwinLove Well-Known Member

    :good:

    My two have always went to bed at 7/7:30 and woke up at 7/7:30. I found with my two that the later the bedtime the earlier they get up. :wacko:
     
  14. rmcobb12

    rmcobb12 Well-Known Member

    My DH family are the same way. They think we are crazy for having a 6:30 bedtime but my boys need that! Many afternoons we fight them to last that long. I have learned/am learning that you just cant let what others say effect how you raise your children. You know what is best for them so stick to your guns when you have to.

    Our schedule:
    7a- wake up (some days they will sleep until close to 8..those are GREAT days.ha!)
    9am- 1st nap (usually 1hr - 1.5 hours)
    1-1:30pm- 2nd nap (usually 1hr-1.5 hrs)
    6pm- start baths and bedtime
    6:30pm- in bed
     
  15. laurenlantz

    laurenlantz Well-Known Member

    Here's our schedule:

    Wake-7:00 a.m.
    Morning Nap-9:30-10:30 (varies from 1 hr. to 1 1/2 hrs)
    Afternoon Nap-2:00-3:30
    Bedtime-8:00 p.m.

    You know your children best, but I would think it is kind of difficult to go anywhere at night if they go to bed that early. If you would like to have them with later bedtime, I would suggest putting them to bed around 7:30 or 8:00. An afternoon nap should normally be somewhere from 1 to 1.5 hours. I imagine they aren't sleeping that long for their afternoon nap because they get to bed so early. Just a thought! Ultimately, you do what you feel is best for your family!
     
  16. maybell

    maybell Well-Known Member

    Our schedule was about the same from before 12 mo. up to about 17 mo...

    7a- wake up
    9am- 1st nap - 2 hrs
    2pm- 2nd nap - 2-3 hrs
    6:30pm- start baths
    7pm bedtime

    it was a basic 2-3-4 schedule.
    and they got about 11-12 hrs of sleep at night with close to 4 hrs of daytime naps... = 15-16 hrs of sleep a day!

    now the past couple of months the morning nap has moved to 10a-noon. then the 2nd one 3p-5p and bedtime around 7:30p. sometimes I let them sleep as long as they want for the 2nd nap, because my husband doesn't get home until 6:30p or later... and then they'll get their bath and bedtime a little late.

    you have to figure out what you want... and if you can manipulate it, that's great... if you'd like a later waking time, maybe you could somehow manipulate getting them to bed later...? a friend just said today that when she transitioned to 1 nap a day, she followed what BabyWise said and for a whole week, you kept them busy busy busy during their typical 1st nap time, and then did lunch and put them to bed closer to noon etc. I hadn't heard the training part before about the parent actively trying to move the start time of sleep etc.

    good luck!
     
  17. swilhite25

    swilhite25 Well-Known Member

    So I technically have another couple of weeks until I "belong" in here but I wanted to see what everyone was chatting about in the second year forum. Your schedule is almost identical to ours. We bathe every other night, but other than that...identical. I can't imagine keeping ours up any later either. They know when it's time for bed! We could put them down at 6:30 or 9:30 and no matter what they will wake up between 5:30 and 6:20, the average being right at 6:00.
     
  18. debfitz

    debfitz Well-Known Member

    Mine go to bed between 5:30-6pm. They sleep until 7-8am. I also use HSHHC. Every child is different. Ours would not stay up later, they would be overtired if we did. It works for us. I say use what works best for your family.
     
  19. LMW1015

    LMW1015 Well-Known Member

    We pretty much follow 2-3-4. Here's what ours looks like:

    6:45-7:00am - Wake Up
    9:00am - Nap until approximately 10:30am
    1:30pm - Nap until approximately 3:00-3:30pm
    7:15-7:30pm Bedtime

    We live with my in-laws until my husband is out of training and we can move and they don't eat dinner until 6pm (which I feel is too late for the kids but what can I do...). Anyway, by the time they are done with dinner, bath, pj's, and bottle it's after 7pm and they go to bed really well at 7:30 so unless we get done with things early or they're really tired I rarely put them down before 7:15 but usually by 7:30. I think whatever works best for your kids you should go with. And I swore I would never be a slave to my kids naps...but I am. LOL With two kids who get very cranky when they don't get their naps I'd rather be a slave to their naps and have semi-happy kids than go with no schedule. ;)
     
  20. Fossie

    Fossie Well-Known Member

    Everyone in my family thought I was crazy too for being so schedule oriented and putting them to bed "early." I do wish sometimes that we could do family dinners which just isn't possible with me working full-time and getting home at 5:30 when they are ready to eat at 6:00 at the latest. I also wish we could go out to dinner with the kids without worrying about bedtime/bathtime or go to friend's houses to watch games or whatever instead of having everyone to our house all the time because we are the only "schedule freaks." Overall, though, I love that my kids sleep well, are relatively happy (although temper tantrums have reared their heads lately) and good kids because they are well rested, and that me and dh get some time together in the evenings that we otherwise wouldn't get. We just moved to one nap so our schedule is:
    Wake up 6:30ish (Don't get out of cribs until 6:45 - 7:00)
    Nap - 12:30 - 3:00
    Bath - 6:45
    Bedtime between 7:00 and 7:30 (never later than 7:30)depending on their moods :)!
     
  21. mommymauro

    mommymauro Well-Known Member

    Same here... but i was in the same spot w/ my first….. DH didn’t get home until later... but to this day... no matter what time ANY of my kids go to bed...7am wake up... sometime earlier but they are all old enough to entertain themselves for 20 sometime 30 min... i don’t let anyone out until 7am… oh mine have been going to bed at 7pm since July 08 and waking at 7am (besides the few regressions/teething/illness here and there)

    Elizabeth
     
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