Non CIOers, I need help!

Okay, before the holidays I was starting with the 4 months plus advice in The No Cry Sleep Solution, and was getting somewhere in getting them to go down on their own. My routine during the day (when I am alone) was to put one in the swing at naptime and work with the other one (rock until drowsy, put down, pick up and sooth, put down ...). Then I would either start with the swing baby (if she wasn't asleep) or just put her down (if she was). Things were really starting to improve.

Then came holidays and trips away from swing and rocker. Now they have decided that both stink. The swing baby will swing for 5 minutes or so and then start screaming, and they both cry when I sit with them in the rocker (at naptime). So now I am left walking around with one baby while the other cries and trying desperately to work with them on sleep (but it is hard to have the patience to work with one while the other is crying!).

I don't want to CIO, both because it feels wrong to me and because they have reflux, which is apparently exacerbated by crying (plus the crying baby has never once settled down and slept on her own around here!), but I don't know what to do!

Is there a way I can teach them to like the swing again? Can your recommend some other technique to sooth the 2nd baby while I work with the first? The screaming is driving me batty and making me feel like a terrible mother.

Kim

 

Okay, before the holidays I was starting with the 4 months plus advice in The No Cry Sleep Solution, and was getting somewhere in getting them to go down on their own. My routine during the day (when I am alone) was to put one in the swing at naptime and work with the other one (rock until drowsy, put down, pick up and sooth, put down ...). Then I would either start with the swing baby (if she wasn't asleep) or just put her down (if she was). Things were really starting to improve.

Then came holidays and trips away from swing and rocker. Now they have decided that both stink. The swing baby will swing for 5 minutes or so and then start screaming, and they both cry when I sit with them in the rocker (at naptime). So now I am left walking around with one baby while the other cries and trying desperately to work with them on sleep (but it is hard to have the patience to work with one while the other is crying!).

I don't want to CIO, both because it feels wrong to me and because they have reflux, which is apparently exacerbated by crying (plus the crying baby has never once settled down and slept on her own around here!), but I don't know what to do!

Is there a way I can teach them to like the swing again? Can your recommend some other technique to sooth the 2nd baby while I work with the first? The screaming is driving me batty and making me feel like a terrible mother.

Kim

 

I know there are plenty of people out there that don't let their babies cry! I hope you get some great ideas!!

 

I'm also doing the "No Cry Sleep Solution" and I feel your pain. We had the whole family here for Christmas and then both babies got terrible colds. All the progress we made is out the window and I'm about to post my own sleep question.

I may be able to help with the swing though...My babies never really liked the swing so I had to teach them to be ok with being in there. First, I attached a safe toy that they really liked to play with. I only gave them that toy while in the swing. Then, I put the swing in front of the TV. I'm not a big fan of television for children but, the swing and the TV together give me enough time to work with my difficult baby. Now, they like the swing a little more and I don't have to use the TV to distract them. Maybe you could try something like that to get them back in the mood to swing?

Good luck to you, it is very hard to see all your progress evaporate like that.

Michelle

 

I used a bouncer and held one and bounced the bouncer with my foot. Other options is I lay in the floor with both of them give them bottles and pat them both to sleep.

 

I used to put them each on a shoulder and rock both of them at the same time, a little tricky, but once one fell asleep, I'd transfer him to the floor or crib and then continue with the other. Of course, I don't know how that helps you with walking.... sorry.

 

Sean went through a phase after the holidays where he hated the swing too. Finally I had to put him down to cook, so I put him in the swing while I made dinner. He fussed a bit (and cried for awhile too) but now he really likes the swing again

Anyway, is it possible for you to hold them both at the same time? I used to put Sean in a sling and carry James in my arms. Then James would get drowsy and I could lay him down, usually by them Sean would be asleep so I'd put him down too. It's somewhat awkward but if you do it a few times you'll get the hang of it.

 

No matter what you decide to do, you should take this as an opportunity to wean them from the swing anyway. If you get them used to again, then eventually they will outgrow, and you will have to start over. I would try teaching them to nap in their cribs so you don't have to do this all over in a few months.

 

We're reading and using this book: http://www.amazon.com/Good-Night-Sleep-Tig...ie=UTF8&s=books

It does involve some crying but not much, really. Its working really well with my boys. We're working on naps, too, right now and were doing good until Christmas, then everything got messed up. I just started working the Sleep Lady system late last week, but I can already see lots of improvement.

 

We don't do CIO with our babies either. One of my babies is a cling-on, so sometimes it is really tough when they are both fussy. My clingy baby loves to be swaddled and will sleep quite well if he is snuggled up tight in his blanky. We do the bouncer thing, too, it works really well. Both of my guys will either fall asleep nursing, rocking or being carried. I did this with my other three children, and they never developed any bad habits. I never have minded carrying/rocking/nursing my babies to get them to sleep; the first year with them is so precious.
Hang in there, they will get the hang of the whole sleeping thing, you just need to find out what will work for you and your babies.

 

Another vote for the Sleep Lady book by Kim West. It's sorda modified crying. You pat and shush. Pick them up if hysterical. She has this sleep lady shuffle process. It got my girls sleeping 12 hrs thru the night at around 5 months.

Hang in there. Crying is so stressful. We just went thru a difficult nap phase. I can't begin to explain how their NOT sleeping/napping overwhelms me.

Just remember that you are doing the best you can and you ARE doing a good job.

 

That really sucks when a good routine gets messed up. First of all, you did it once, so you can do it again. Since they are both fussing in alternative spots anyway, I would try putting both down in cribs. Then go back and forth to pat bellies, speak soothingly, put pacis back in, etc. It will probably be ugly for a couple days, but it doesn't sound like things are going so well for you right now anyway.

The best way I've found to make the crib work is to get those music and light things to attach to the side rails. It really distracts them as they try to fall asleep. A sound machine in the room will also train them to sleep when they hear that sound.

Good luck! I know it can sure be tough, especially when both are crying!!

 

If I'm on my own, I either tandem nurse them to sleep, or else rock them while shushing - either both babies in my arms in our rocking chair, or one in my arms & one in the vibrating bouncy chair, which I rock with my foot.

I'm a big believer in slings, both for getting babies to sleep or getting/keeping them calm, but our boys are too heavy (around 15lbs each) for me to carry both at once, although dh can do it.

BTW, I agree on not using the swing anymore if you can help it, since they'll outgrow it soon.

 

I am not an expert, but here is my suggestion. A routine or schedule helps, but isn't mandatory. Get something going in the background, calm music, or white noise. And start to teach them to self-soothe a little by putting them in their cribs when they are calm... before the melt down. Then just go in there and pat them gently, talk to them if they start fussing. And I know it's obvious, but over looked, make sure they are comfortable - not wet, or hot, or hungry. And, they like your scent and theirs, so I don't wash the sheets until they are nasty, and after I do wash them, I sleep with them before I put them on the crib. And try strange things. I found that they like sleeping with the light on!!! I agree with pp, if you can wean them from their swings, it will help in the long run.