No Popsicles!

Why do I feel it necessary to justify myself to my mother in law? This has been bugging me for quite some time. On the Fourth of July, she had a popsicle, and put it up to my son's mouth, and was like "Want a taste?" Both my husband and I were like, "No!" Looking kind of offended, she asked, "Why not?"

So I went in to this big long story about how my brother had very bad food allergies, so we were introducing foods slowly, and they'd already had a new food that day. Really, I just don't think it's necesseary or appropriate to give pure sugar to a 6 month old. But does any of that matter? Shouldn't she just accept that my husband and I don't want him to have popsicle and leave it at that? But I hope the food allergy reason will prevent her from putting things in my boys' mouth. (She gave one of them a baby carrot to suck on! Hello -- choking hazzard!)

A similar thing happened before with ice cream (when they were 4 months old!) And I had to lecture her about raw eggs and milk.

I think she thinks I'm being silly, and if left alone with them, she would give them ice cream and popsicles.

Maybe I am being silly, but does it matter? They are my children, and I get to decide what they eat. I know that grandma's should get to spoil their grandchildren, but there is plenty of time for that when they are older.

AND my husband and I should get give them thier first popsicles!

Thanks for listening!

 

totally understand! sounds like you are doing a good job expressing your concerns. now the hardest part is enforcing it. just keep doing what you're doing...hopefully she will get the hint soon. my husbands' step-mom gave one of the girls salsa when they were like 9 months old. i could have strangled her! honestly, i think it has to do with the generation gap too. our parents and grandparents raised kids so much differently than we do now. heck, they could smoke and drink and never fear that something would happen to the baby. not to mention homemade cold remedies, containing whiskey!!! i have to remind my parents and husband's about certain things too. though as my girls have gotten older, i have definitely gotten more lenient with what they eat. but if you have history of food allergies, by all means, take things slow and do what you want...they are YOUR KIDS!

 

been there. am still there <_< i just keep reminding my mil that the girls throw up very easily and i don't want to have to blame anyone for them getting sick. i MAY be able to trust her alone with them, but FIL would give them EVERYTHING if he could. argh.

 

Been there one of the reason I never leave my girls alone with my MIL I simply do not trust her to listen to us. I agree with you I want my husband and I to be the ones to introduce them to their firsts. The grandparents got to do it with their own children. Now let us raise our children how we want to!!!

 

Could be worse... my MIL tried to give them beer when they were young toddlers and she's still not allowed to be alone with them. Assert yourself and don't back down because it is about more than popsicles and ice cream; you need to insist upon having the final say as the mommy.

ETA: If she asks why, just answer, "Because I told you so."

 

My MIL can't understand why I won't let the boys have canned veggies at her house. I've been saying "it's such a hot day I don't want them having too much salt" she seems to take it a little better than just plain "no".
She also fed one of the boys hamburger when I was in the other room once. I makes me think that when she asks about a food in my presence, she's just doing it for show.


Why oh why do they think we are crazy parents? My DH actually tested positive for lead in kindergarden - no it's not always a good idea to do things the old fashioned way.

 

I think it's good to be very assertive with grandparents, or anyone else who wants to feed your babies/children something with which you are not comfortable. :hug99:

 

It does matter. She can spoil them in other ways. And she can spoil them with treats later on when you know what is safe for them to have. One of many reasons I am very leary about leaving my boys with my MIL. I don't trust her to do what we ask.

Dianna

 

Definitely been here - as with a lot of other issues, my favorite response is "We will do what we think is best with our kids but thanks for your opinion". It is certainly tough and very frustrating.

 

You justify yourself because you don't want to hurt her feelings by just snapping out "I said NO. And I am the mom." And a whole host of other things that have crossed your mind.

My MIL and I have always have a bit of a rocky relationship. Our families are just vastly different. They just handle things differently and after 6 years of being a "member" of their family I still have to remind myself that it isn't personal - it is just how they are. When our kids were born we continued down the tenous line we had been going down for years, and I realize now that was a mistake. When the kids were 3 months old I finally lost it. The good thing that came out of it was that we finally had a sit down talk. We still don't agree on everything, but that's okay as long as she respects the fact that they are my kids, not hers, and that I am going to do things differently than she did. I still don't let her keep the kids by herself, but I go out of my way to include her in more things and when the day is over I am glad I did. I wish we had talked long ago.

 

It definitely matters especially if you have a family history of food allergies. I hate having to justify myself, but if what I have to do to protect my girls, I will. GL. Maybe have DH talk to your MIL when not in the heat of the moment to explain to her again why she can't just give your babies food.

 

If your family has a history of food allergies, then being careful with foods definitely matters. So do choking hazards.

While my first reaction to being told not to let my 6 month old grandchild taste a popsicle would definitely be "Why?", it is your decision about what your children eat. Just a note of warning though, if you have family you aren't going to be able to control a lot of things and you will drive yourself and everyone else (including the kids) crazy if you do. Pick your battles. With the allergies, food is definitely a good one for you.

If there were no allergies and it was actually about wanting to be the first to introduce popsicles to your kids, then I'd say ease up and get in line. Good luck!

 

You are the parents......NUFF SAID!

 

That would tick me off. No one should give food to a baby for any reason unless okay'd by their parents. They have no idea if the baby is allergic. I'm very particular about what my children eat their first year. I try and introduce foods "properly" and they get next to no sugar in their diet during that time (no juice, no candy/popsicles, cakes/pies ice cream)