No one seems to get it!

I have been asked to be in a wedding party and painfully agreed, so now of course the events are coming up.
So the bride has been making requests for this and that, and I told her clearly from the beginning
that because I have twin babies I have very little time for anything else.
So she asks, can't your husband just put them to bed? Can't you leave them for two nights, the family can babysit?

Who's crazy, me or her?

Is this an issue for other twin moms out there? People just can't seem to grasp that my twins consume 95% of my life and
time and priority right now, it's just the way it is!

Sheesh.

btw, she doesn't have children yet so she has zero concept of the work involved with just one baby.

 

sorry, about this. you are not crazy. She just really doesn't understand what she is asking for. I will tellyou more.
my friend who has 2 girls ( younger one is 1 yo) asked me to leave my 1 week old twins and my older DS to my mom to babysit them and together with my husband go out for the evening. it was her birthday.

 

I think the important part there is that she has no kids. I have this problem with my sister often, she has no kids. I would be honest with her. Let her know that you got in over your head. Let her know clearly when you are and when you are not free to help. Then give her the option of replacing you. If she really needs someone that much then maybe she should ask someone else. Maybe you could take a less important role if all this for her. Her head is just in the clowds right now and she's not thinking about much else. gl

 

Yes, brides can be that way. I would be honest and let her know that you don't feel comfortable leaving and if she's upset, so be it. Real friends would understand, even if they don't understand really, KWIM?

 

I agree with PP. She doesn't understand how hard it is emotionally to trust someone with your two babies let alone finding people who are willing to do it. I too would let her know that if she needs someone who has more time, you are willing to step down.

 

I don't know how old your babies are or what your circumstances are, so it's hard for me to judge. I have no problem with my husband putting the girls to bed and my mom has kept them overnight ever since they started STTN.

 

I do admit that I have come across people who don't understand what life is like with twins, but usually when they spend the day with us, they are like "I know what you mean."
In your situation, I would talk to her about it and see if there is something that both of you can work out.

 

How old are your twins and how are they sleeping at night? That makes a big difference. I was in a wedding when my girls were 4 months old and I couldn't leave them. It was 2 nights away, so my mom and dad came with us and babysat. It was the best option for us at the time. I wasn't ready to leave them overnight while we were 4 hours away. Since then, I started leaving them with my mom more and more and I'm fine with it. We are planning a getaway this fall. It's all about your comfort level. Once she has kids, she'll understand. Do what's best for you and don't worry about hurting anyone's feelings. I would just be totally honest with her.